It S Just The Chronosphere Unfolding As It Should

The fourth book of Ira Nayman’s increasingly improperly named Transdimensional Authority series (really, would it have killed him to plan the series more in advance? George R. R. Martin planned the first 137 books in his series – it will take more generations in his family to write than the books themselves actually chronicle – before he wrote a single word, and everybody knows where they stand with him), features Time Agency agent Radames Trafshanian. When she’s not trying to impress her good friend in the Transdimensional Authority, her very special friend, if you know what we mean (and, if you do, could you please tell us, because we’re not entirely certain…), Radames is busy trying to solve crimes against time (that is, crimes that are themselves against time, not trying to solve them against time – she’s not on the clock… well, she sort of is, but you know what we mean don’t you. You don’t? Well then, you’ll have to read It’s Just the Chronosphere Unfolding as it Should to find out). In this novel, which is not nearly as parenthetical as the previous sentence may have led you to believe, we accompany Radames on her latest case, followed by her previous case (time travel’s like that) and on the way we find out much more about the origin of the Time Agency itself and why it’s organised like a Library, which is very timely (see what we did there?). Featuring guest appearances by Noomi Rapier, Elvis Presley and Margaret Atwo–.

In the fifth novel in Ira Nayman’s Multiverse series (aka the Transdimensional Authority series, which is misleading because book four in the series was mostly about the Time Agency – honestly, if you blinked, you would have missed the appearance of the Transdimensional Authority, and if you didn’t blink, well, Elsewhen Press accepts no responsibility for the cost of the surgery to rehydrate your eyes), we once again follow the intricate web of events that unfold in a Transdimensional Authority investigation (oh! – so we could have stayed with the other series name after all – it’s not easy keeping track when these sentences can be the size of a Sherman tank!). Why would someone, apparently chosen at random, have their consciousness swapped with someone else in another reality? How would someone, apparently chosen at random, have their consciousness swapped with someone else in another reality? Why would another three persons, apparently chosen at random, have their consciousness swapped with three other someone elses in another reality? Why would the entire bridge crew of a starship, apparently… well, you get the picture. What will happen to all these very confused people? How does the Alternate Reality News Service get scoops on these events so quickly? Why are their reporters acting so dodgy – do they have something to hide, or just issues? Who are the Pops, and can they help? Does the editor know what’s going on, and if she does would she even tell Noomi (our favourite TA investigator)? What was that noise from her office when Noomi was ‘interviewing’ her? Why am I asking you these questions when you haven’t even read the story yet? Or have you? Why are you reading this blurb if you’ve already read the story? Are you looking for an alternate reality, or just alternative facts? This is fiction you know, we tell it like it is. If you want alternative facts you better try a news service...or a politician. Oh, and if you’re looking for a news service, you could always consider the Alternate Reality News Service.

Not All Alarm Bells Are In Your Head At the end of You Can’t Kill the Multiverse (But You Can Mess With its Head), Doctor Alhambra, the chief scientist of the Transdimensional Authority, set up an alarm to warn him if a universe is succumbing to the universe-killing machine that is at the heart of the story. But how would the Transdimensional Authority respond if that alarm went off? In Good Intentions, the first book in the Multiverse Refugees Trilogy, but also the sixth Transdimensional Authority novel, we find out. In the process we not only meet the most unusual refugees in fiction (probably), learn what Noomi Rapier’s brother does (and with whom), revisit Dingle Dell, and finally discover what happened to chapter seventeen of The Multiverse is a Nice Place to Visit But I Wouldn’t Want to Live There. Visit bit.ly/GoodIntentions-IraNayman Cover artwork by Hugh Spencer

Emigrating to a new universe can be hard. People in the new universe eat for sustenance (rather than get their energy directly from sunlight). Eww! They use umbrellas to protect them from the rain (rather than pianos and anvils and safes and orangutans – oh, my! – falling from the sky). Their gods do not reward them in the afterlife for how funny they were while they were alive – as if any other qualities in life matter! Fleeing a dying universe is not for the faint of gall bladder! The Ugly Truth: is the final volume in Ira Nayman’s appropriately described Multiverse Refugees trilogy. In it, musicians are hoist on their own poetic petard, pies fly and four foot tall blue aliens with no hair and exaggeratedly round features who wear exquisite three piece suits find amusing new ways to die. As they say on Earth Prime 4-6-4-0-8-9 dash Omega, “May the Audi Enz laugh upon you all the days of your life!” “The name of the game here is wordplay. Non-stop, unrestrained, groan-worthy … inspired wordplay.” – Alex Good, reviewing Good Intentions Cover artwork by Hugh Spencer

Two years after the discovery that Earth Prime 4-6-4-0-8-9 dash Omega is in imminent danger of collapse, the Transdimensional Authority has helped hundreds of millions… well, millions… okay, a lot of aliens immigrate to Earth Prime. How’s that working out? Rodney Pendleton, the first alien to make the move, is now a tech millionaire (hover technology is wildly popular – who knew?). Wainwright Walsh, lead singer for The Occidental Tourists (ask your parents… or, maybe your grandparents), puts together an all-star band to raise funds for a foundation to help the aliens adjust to their new home. But all is not beat yas and scream on Earth Prime. An investigation into the first murder of an alien being leads to an anti-alien protest group, revealing a dark, speciesist strain of human emotion. And a different investigation into the disappearance of aliens in Latin America reveals a dark, greedy strain of human emotion. It turns out, some problems cannot be solved by the swift, unexpected application of pie! Cover artwork by Hugh Spencer

Racing against time, Jade and her friends must hide evidence of Life on Mars to stop the probes from Earth finding them Jade is on her way to meet up with her dad, Elvis, for her sixteen-millionth birthday (tortles live a long time in spite of the harsh conditions on Mars), when she gets side-tracked by a strange object that appears to have fallen from the sky. Elvis’ travelling companion Starkwood, an electrostatic plant, is hearing voices, claiming that “The Vikings Are Coming”, while their football-pitch-sized flying friend Fionix confirms the rumour: the Earth has sent two craft to look for life on Mars. It then becomes a race against time to hide any evidence of such life before Earth destroys it for good. Can Jade and her friends succeed, with help from a Lung Whale, a liquid horse, some flying cats, the Hellas Angels, the Pyrites and a couple of House Martins from the South of France? Oh, and a quantum tunnelling worm – all while avoiding Zombie Vegetables and trouble with a Gravity Artist and the Physics Police?! A gentle and lightly humorous science fantasy adventure. Cover artwork and illustrations: Natascha Booth “Life on Mars is fantasy on steroids. Instead of swords and magic potions, we have the ‘magic’ science of quantum physics and relativity theory, channeled through what feels like a hallucinogenic dream. My favourite character is a quantum-tunneling worm, but the author’s fevered imagination provides us with a menagerie of almost equally bizarre creatures, on a mission to save the world — their world, that is, not ours. Suspend disbelief, strap in for the ride, and enjoy.” – John Gribbin, Scientist, science writer and author of In Search of Schrodinger’s Cat: Quantum Physics and Reality

Navigating an asteroid field was just the start of the hazards… When Pam Rakai convinces her husband Jack to write an article for the ‘My Job’ section of The Modern Earth Woman’s Weekly, he starts to keep a record of their day to day life. A franchise holder from the Inter-Galactic Vending Machine Company, Jack’s daily routine is not usually glamorous or exciting. He and Pam, along with their three children and sundry alien pets, travel to various spaceports and refuelling stations to service and restock the company’s massive vending machines. In the process, they encounter aliens from many of the 739 species of intelligent civilised life who make up the Conglomerate that Earth joined 114 years earlier. Their next call is to the Afgfun Seven spaceport to deliver supplies that the company hope will defuse a miners’ sit-in. It’s a trip Jack is dreading as he’s not confident that he can safely navigate their new spaceship through the asteroid field that surrounds the spaceport. The perilous journey is just the first of the unexpected hazards that lie in store as he and his family get caught up in a dangerously escalating situation. Jack and Pam must protect their family, keep their employer happy, deal with some very unsavoury characters (alien and human alike) – and remember to keep a log for the readers back home. Written as Jack’s personal log of what happened on Afgfun Seven, Franchise is the first in a series of logged events from the crew of the spaceship Cornucopia. Visit bit.ly/FranchiseLog1

The Known World needs a fix or things could get very ugly (even uglier than an Ogre!) “Did we win the battle?” asked King Wyndham. “Well it depends how you define winning,” answered Longfield, one of the King’s royal commanders. In fact, the Humans are fighting a losing battle with the Trolls. Meanwhile the Ogres are up to something, which probably isn’t good. Could one flying unicorn bring about peace in the Known World? No, obviously not. But maybe a group of rebels have the answer. Or maybe the answer lies with a young Pixie with one remarkable gift. Does the Elvish Oracle have the answer? Who knows? And even if she did would anyone understand her cryptic answers (we all know what Oracles are like!) The Known World is in danger of being rent in twain, and twain-rending is never good! Did I mention the dragon? No? Ah… well… there’s also a dragon. Visit bit.ly/TheMagicFix Cover design: A and S Buck