Killing Narcissism

Narcissism is an overwhelming and confusing topic. But when you reveal its mask, you see that it is basically a lie, told to those who are vulnerable. Narcissistic abuse, by nature, is designed to keep you trapped in shame-based vertigo. It doesn’t just go away because you know it exists. Narcissism creates a set of beliefs, behaviours and paradigms in its target which must be changed from the inside. ‘How To Kill A Narcissist’ is a book with two aims: 1. To reveal the rotten core of the narcissistic personality so you can see it clearly 2. To present you with an inside-out strategy for healing, recovery and freedom Whether you are dealing with narcissistic parents, husbands, wives, friends, bosses or colleagues, the same philosophy will apply. After reading ‘How To Kill A Narcissist’, you will: - Become aware of the damage narcissistic abuse has done to your psyche and how to heal it - See how the narcissist uses shame as a weapon to fool you into feeling inferior - Understand the playing field which narcissists thrive on and how to stop playing their game - Learn how the narcissist uses mind control to break down and rebuild your identity for the purpose of subjugation - Gain tools for disarming a narcissist i.e. starving them of their narcissistic supply - Have taken a closer look beyond the label of narcissistic personality disorder ‘How To Kill A Narcissist’ takes an enlightening look at the dynamic between a narcissist and their target. It takes you on a deep journey and describes: - How we unwittingly qualify as targets of narcissists - The shame/grandiosity continuum and how the narcissist uses it to crush your self-esteem - The law of grandiosity and how it influences our relationships with the self-absorbed - The effect that narcissism has on its target including: toxic shame, a dissociated mind and a weakened ego - The obstacles which keep you trapped in a cycle of narcissistic abuse: the psychological cage, love starvation, low shame tolerance, guilt and conditioning to shamelessness Using an inside-out approach, ‘How To Kill A Narcissist’ presents the seven practices for recovery and healing: 1. Get allies: Boost self-esteem through limbic resonance 2. Give shape to your true self: Uncover disowned parts of the self and restore wholeness 3. Skill up: Empower yourself 4. Flex your muscles: Challenge the psychological cage and come out of hiding 5. Even the scale: Restore balance to your relationships 6. Boundaries: Foster a strong sense of self and firmly protect it 7. Scorched earth: Disengage from those who wish to manipulate you Each practice is designed to instil you with independence, strength, emotional resilience and awareness while allowing you to cultivate balanced, loving relationships and pursue a life of passion. This is the art of killing a narcissist.

Narcissism is more than a personality; it's a system for exploiting love and a blueprint for avoiding shame. This unconscious pattern is the narcissist regime. Through shifting your paradigms, 'Killing Narcissism' helps you find your way back to your true self and take back your power from the narcissistic forces which entrap you.

The powerful thesis of this book is that in order to achieve full selfhood we must all repeatedly and endlessly kill the phantasmatic image of ourselves instilled in us by our parents. We must all combat what the author calls “primary narcissism,” a projection of the child our parents wanted. This idea—that each of us carries as a burden an unconscious secret of our parents, a hidden desire that we are made to live out but that we must kill in order to “be born”—touches on some of the fundamental issues of psychoanalytic theory. Around it, the author builds an intricate analysis of the relation between primary narcissism and the death drive. Each of the book’s five chapters begins with one or more case studies drawn from the author’s clinical experience as a psychoanalyst. In these studies he links his central concern—the image of the child created by the unconscious desire of the parents—to other issues, such as the question of love, the concept of the subject, and the death drive. In the penultimate chapter, on transference, the author challenges the commonplace understanding of the analyst’s impassivity. What does such impassivity imply, especially in the context of a “transferential love” between a female patient and a male analyst? In replying to this question, the author forcefully reassesses the relation of psychoanalysis to femininity, to the question “What does a woman want?” Serge Leclaire’s overarching thesis leads to a provocative rereading of the Oedipal configuration. Leclaire suggests that he is inhabited, pursued, haunted, and debilitated by the child who should have died in order that Oedipus might have been born into life.

Taking the same position on clinical psychoanalysis as he has taken theoretically, Green believes that certain structures should be particularized in the name of narcissism, but it would be a mistake to exaggerate the differences between narcissistic structures and borderline cases. He suspects that a new metapsychology, a third topography, may have slipped surreptitiously into psychoanalytic thinking without anyone noticing, the theoretical poles of which would be the Self and the object. The French edition (no title mentioned) is published by Les Editions de Minuit. No information is provided on either Green or Weller. Distributed in the US by ISBS. c. Book News Inc.

Within the throes of a madly passionate romance is the most ghastly soul rape and mind crime conceivable. The Great American "Psychopathic" Love Story exists in a world where nothing is as real as perceived. Beneath the surface of what seems to be a fairy tale romance is the outline for what may be the perfect murder, and if you are naive enough to think it can't happen to you, you're wrong, ... dead wrong. Loving A Narcissist is the diary of a man being vicimized by a lethal narcissist, from beginning to end as it happens. Be there as he learns about narcissism and as he searches for a way to completely heal from the abuse. Many readers/victims praise this book for helping them heal as well. Steven thought he was writing about the phenomenal love he and Ashley had for each other. He didn't know that he was actually documenting the manipulation and torment experienced by the victim of a highly skilled emotional vampire. An endearing love story that is insanity in the raw, and just when you think it is all over, it begins again before leading to a shocking ending that will not soon be forgotten. Read this before purchasing this book: Many victims of narcissistic abuse buy books on the subject just to make them feel better by reading about what evil monsters the narcissists are. Granted, they have suffered tremendously, but this type of victim wallows in misery and are not able to heal or move beyond the abuse. If you are looking for a book that just repeats what hundreds of others already outline, then this book is not for you. This book is a memoir from the perspective of the victim as the mental and emotional abuse is taking place. It portrays the confusion that comes from abrupt abandonment and ostracization by a loved one. Through the victim's eyes, you will experience what it is to be "Gaslighted" by a narcissist, which is, idealization, discard, and devalue. When a narcissist is victimizing a person, the abused becomes someone they are not, and behave in ways out of the norm. Where some may view the behavior as childish or immature, it is actually a person fighting to hang onto his or her sanity. This is "Loving a Narcissist." "Dynamic person stylized writing. Brilliant! A death to birth with a delivery that is painful as bloody hell." - Becky Joyce Reed (Author of Life in the Aftermath of a Narcissist) "Thank you Steven from the bottom of my heart. I was completely destroyed by my relationship with a Narcissist. Your book was the turning point for me and saved my life." -Debbie Perez "Congratulations on writing a wonderful and powerful book. Yours is a very important story to tell - because it's from a man's viewpoint (not a perspective we hear from enough)." - Leslie Morgan Steiner (Author of the New York Times best selling memoir "Crazy Love") This book saved my life. - Debby Perez Everyone should read this. These psychopaths are multiplying like crazy and we need to know how to identify them for our own sakes and for the sake of society. This is one story out of too many that can teach us what to look out for. - Linda Freeman Dear Steven, I received your book on a Friday, and could not put it down, yet at times the pain I felt for you was unbearable. I could so relate though to the pain. Steven, I just finished reading your book "Loving a Narcissist" and I wanted to tell you how moved I was by your honesty and revealing your vulnerability. Reading it, I cried for you sometimes. Thank you for telling us your story. It doesn't just happen to women. Be well and blessed ... I think you are now. - Liz Davies

A groundbreaking, “thoughtful and provocative” (Los Angeles Times) study of narcissism that will relieve hidden anxieties and heal the tension between mind, body, and feelings. Are you a narcissist? Do you interact with someone who is? Contrary to popular belief, narcissists do not love themselves or anyone else. They cannot accept their true selves, constructing instead fixed masks that hide emotional numbness. Influenced by forces in culture and predisposed by factors in the human personality, narcissists tend to be: • More concerned with how they appear than what they feel • Seductive and manipulative, striving for power and control • Egotists, focused on their own interests but lacking the true values of the self -- self-expression, self-possession, dignity, and integrity • Without a solid sense of self, which leads them to experience life as empty and meaningless In this groundbreaking study, Dr. Alexander Lowen uses his extensive clinical experience to demonstrate how narcissists can recover their suppressed feelings and regain their lost humanity. By the use of Bioenergetic Analysis, the psychotherapy created by Dr. Lowen, a new possibility of a fulfilling and authentic life is presented for people with narcissistic characteristics and for those who interact with them.

Synthesizing the ideas of theorists as diverse as Aristotle and Althusser, Kohut and Derrida, Alcorn explores the relationships between language and subjectivity. The works of Joseph Conrad, James Baldwin, William Faulkner, Arthur Miller, D. H. Lawrence, Ben Jonson, George Orwell, and others are the basis of this thoughtful analysis of the rhetorical resources of literary language.

What is it that makes language powerful? This book uses the psychoanalytic concepts of narcissism and libidinal investment to explain how rhetoric compels us and how it can effect change. Synthesizing the ideas of theorists as diverse as Aristotle and Althusser, Kohut and Derrida, Alcorn explores the relationships between language and subjectivity. The works of Joseph Conrad, James Baldwin, William Faulkner, Arthur Miller, D.H. Lawrence, Ben Jonson, George Orwell, and others are the basis of this thoughtful analysis of the rhetorical resources of literary language. Using Freudian, post-Freudian, and Lacanian theory, Alcorn Investigates the power by means of which literary texts are able to fashion new and distinctly rhetorical experiences for readers. He shows how the production of literary texts begins and ends with narcissistic self-love, and also shows how the reader's interest in these texts is directed by libidinal investment.