Late Life Love

“Winning [and] intelligent. . . . [An] impressive, often heartening addition to the literature of aging.” — Heller McAlpin, Wall Street Journal In this “unique blend of memoir and literary commentary” (Bookpage), acclaimed author and literary scholar Susan Gubar contemplates the beauty and strength of enduring love—both for her husband and for the literature that has shaped her life. Throughout the complications of devoted caregiving, her own ongoing cancer treatments, and a stressful move to a more manageable apartment, Gubar proves that love and desire have no expiration date—on the page or in life. Late-Life Love offers a resounding retort to ageist stereotypes, appraises the obstacles unique to senior couples, and celebrates second chances.

Contains interviews with more than twenty older couples about their partnerships and late-life romances.

From the New York Times columnist, a portrait of a family and the cycles of joy and grief that mark the natural world: “Has the makings of an American classic.” —Ann Patchett Growing up in Alabama, Margaret Renkl was a devoted reader, an explorer of riverbeds and red-dirt roads, and a fiercely loved daughter. Here, in brief essays, she traces a tender and honest portrait of her complicated parents—her exuberant, creative mother; her steady, supportive father—and of the bittersweet moments that accompany a child’s transition to caregiver. And here, braided into the overall narrative, Renkl offers observations on the world surrounding her suburban Nashville home. Ringing with rapture and heartache, these essays convey the dignity of bluebirds and rat snakes, monarch butterflies and native bees. As these two threads haunt and harmonize with each other, Renkl suggests that there is astonishment to be found in common things: in what seems ordinary, in what we all share. For in both worlds—the natural one and our own—“the shadow side of love is always loss, and grief is only love’s own twin.” Gorgeously illustrated by the author’s brother, Billy Renkl, Late Migrations is an assured and memorable debut. “Magnificent . . . Readers will savor each page and the many gems of wisdom they contain.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review)

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A powerful memoir of a love that leads two people to find a courageous way to part—and a woman’s struggle to go forward in the face of loss—that “enriches the reader’s life with urgency and gratitude” (The Washington Post) “A pleasure to read . . . Rarely has a memoir about death been so full of life. . . . Bloom has a talent for mixing the prosaic and profound, the slapstick and the serious.”—USA Today ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: NPR Amy Bloom began to notice changes in her husband, Brian: He retired early from a new job he loved; he withdrew from close friendships; he talked mostly about the past. Suddenly, it seemed there was a glass wall between them, and their long walks and talks stopped. Their world was altered forever when an MRI confirmed what they could no longer ignore: Brian had Alzheimer’s disease. Forced to confront the truth of the diagnosis and its impact on the future he had envisioned, Brian was determined to die on his feet, not live on his knees. Supporting each other in their last journey together, Brian and Amy made the unimaginably difficult and painful decision to go to Dignitas, an organization based in Switzerland that empowers a person to end their own life with dignity and peace. In this heartbreaking and surprising memoir, Bloom sheds light on a part of life we so often shy away from discussing—its ending. Written in Bloom’s captivating, insightful voice and with her trademark wit and candor, In Love is an unforgettable portrait of a beautiful marriage, and a boundary-defying love.

Many women, and a minority of men, are deciding that 'adequate' marriages are inadequate. They are driving an explosion of 'grey' divorce and remarriage in the over-50s. With children departing into their own journeys and ever-longer lives stretching out ahead, more mature adults are leaping, unconventionally and aspirationally, at a last chance at love. Most of the existing literature discourages them. The dominant mantra of books, counsellors and media is that 'staying together' is the superior, admirable choice. They insist that romantic dreams of great sex and soul mates are the Disney-esque yearnings of the naively immature. This book argues the contrary. Great relationships are not only attainable; they are a natural and admirable goal for ageing humans. And if your current mate isn't interested in working with you to craft an ever-deeper and finer partnership, then it may be your mate that requires changing - not your dreams. As a gender expert, Avivah Wittenberg-Cox frames her reflections in the context of an unprecedented, millennial shift in gender relations. As women's educational, social and economic empowerment increases, they continue to demand more for the world - and from it. This is true both at home and at work. Settling for anything less than mutually supportive, seductive and stretching relationships is so yesterday. As the number of late leavers and lovers swells, their thirst for more is redefining what relationships look like in a greying, gender-balanced world. And it looks pretty good. Many women, and a minority of men, are deciding that 'adequate' marriages are inadequate. They are driving an explosion of 'grey' divorce and remarriage in the over-50s. With children departing into their own journeys and ever-longer lives stretching out ahead, more mature adults are leaping, unconventionally and aspirationally, at a last chance at love. Most of the existing literature discourages them. The dominant mantra of books, counsellors and media is that 'staying together' is the superior, admirable choice. They insist that romantic dreams of great sex and soul mates are the Disney-esque yearnings of the naively immature. This book argues the contrary. Great relationships are not only attainable; they are a natural and admirable goal for ageing humans. And if your current mate isn't interested in working with you to craft an ever-deeper and finer partnership, then it may be your mate that requires changing - not your dreams. As a gender expert, Avivah Wittenberg-Cox frames her reflections in the context of an unprecedented, millennial shift in gender relations. As women's educational, social and economic empowerment increases, they continue to demand more for the world - and from it. This is true both at home and at work. Settling for anything less than mutually supportive, seductive and stretching relationships is so yesterday. As the number of late leavers and lovers swells, their thirst for more is redefining what relationships look like in a greying, gender-balanced world. And it looks pretty good.

An honest, witty, and insightful memoir about what happens when your coming-of-age comes later than expected “Thanks for Waiting is the loving, wise, cuttingly funny older sister we all need in book form.”—Tara Schuster, author of Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies Doree Shafrir spent much of her twenties and thirties feeling out of sync with her peers. She was an intern at twenty-nine and met her husband on Tinder in her late thirties, after many of her friends had already gotten married, started families, and entered couples’ counseling. After a long fertility struggle, she became a first-time mom at forty-one, joining Mommy & Me classes where most of the other moms were at least ten years younger. And while she was one of Gawker’s early hires and one of the first editors at BuzzFeed, she didn’t find professional fulfillment until she co-launched the successful self-care podcast Forever35—at forty. Now, in her debut memoir, Shafrir explores the enormous pressures we feel, especially as women, to hit particular milestones at certain times and how we can redefine what it means to be a late bloomer. She writes about everything from dating to infertility, to how friendships evolve as you get older, to why being pregnant at forty-one is unexpectedly freeing—all with the goal of appreciating the lives we’ve lived so far and the lives we still hope to live. Thanks for Waiting is about how achieving the milestones you thought were so important don’t always happen on the time line you imagined. In a world of 30 Under 30 lists, this book is a welcome reminder that it’s okay to live life at your own speed.

“A beautifully written and well-researched cultural criticism as well as an honest memoir” (Los Angeles Review of Books) from the author of the popular New York Times essay, “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This,” explores the romantic myths we create and explains how they limit our ability to achieve and sustain intimacy. What really makes love last? Does love ever work the way we say it does in movies and books and Facebook posts? Or does obsessing over those love stories hurt our real-life relationships? When her parents divorced after a twenty-eight year marriage and her own ten-year relationship ended, those were the questions that Mandy Len Catron wanted to answer. In a series of candid, vulnerable, and wise essays that takes a closer look at what it means to love someone, be loved, and how we present our love to the world, “Catron melds science and emotion beautifully into a thoughtful and thought-provoking meditation” (Bookpage). She delves back to 1944, when her grandparents met in a coal mining town in Appalachia, to her own dating life as a professor in Vancouver. She uses biologists’ research into dopamine triggers to ask whether the need to love is an innate human drive. She uses literary theory to show why we prefer certain kinds of love stories. She urges us to question the unwritten scripts we follow in relationships and looks into where those scripts come from. And she tells the story of how she decided to test an experiment that she’d read about—where the goal was to create intimacy between strangers using a list of thirty-six questions—and ended up in the surreal situation of having millions of people following her brand-new relationship. “Perfect fodder for the romantic and the cynic in all of us” (Booklist), How to Fall in Love with Anyone flips the script on love. “Clear-eyed and full of heart, it is mandatory reading for anyone coping with—or curious about—the challenges of contemporary courtship” (The Toronto Star).