Mom Rage

A frank, feminist examination of the hidden crisis of rage facing American mothers—and how we can fix it Mothers aren’t supposed to be angry. Still, Minna Dubin was an angry mom: exhausted by the grueling, thankless work of full-time parenting and feeling her career slip away, she would find herself screaming at her child or exploding at her husband. When Dubin pushed past her shame and talked with other mothers about how she was feeling, she realized that she was far from alone. Mom Rage is Dubin’s groundbreaking work of reportage about an unspoken crisis of anger sweeping the country—and the world. She finds that while a specific instance of rage might be triggered by something as simple as a child who won’t tie her shoes, the roots of the anger go far deeper, from the unequal burden of childcare shouldered by moms to the flattening of women’s identities once they have kids. Drawing on insights from moms across the spectrum of race, sexual orientation, and class, she offers practical tools to help readers disarm their rage in the moment, while never losing sight of the broader social change we need to stop raging for good.

matrescence noun /mæ'tres.?nts/ the process of becoming a mother: The physical, psychological, and emotional changes you go through after the birth of your child . . . largely unexplored in the medical community. —Cambridge Dictionary Most new mothers bring their infants to the doctor but ignore any distressing feelings or sensations they might themselves have—that sense of being “rattled” at many moments throughout the day and night. In Rattled, Dr. Nicole Pensak shares her own experiences and those of her patients to help new mothers feel informed, validated, and guided through matrescence. After giving birth, a woman often feels like a completely different person. It may sound dramatic, but the rollercoaster of physical and psychological changes affects brain and body in a similar way that adolescence changes us. To compound that, many women hide these feelings, worrying that something is wrong with them. Dr. Nicole Pensak is here to reassure us that being “rattled” is normal, and not at all surprising. After all, seismic changes in identity and emotion have occurred. Research shows that a woman’s brain shifts in real, biological ways very quickly after giving birth. Many women become hypervigilant, for good reason: the brain is telling her to stay alert because she has a human to keep alive and safe. While these brainpower boosts can cause anxious feelings, they can also help to manage the distress and harness the advantages of the postpartum brain. In fact, this is a time of neuroplasticity, when the brain is more receptive to positive reinforcement. Trained at Yale and Harvard and certified in perinatal mental health, Dr. Pensak provides practical and emotional support, helping to relieve the anxiety and pressure for perfection in motherhood and paving the way for a better beginning for families and babies. She discusses mental health treatment and the upside of therapy during this changing time, and offers accessible scientific information, relatable anecdotes, and strategies for self-care. The result is a reassuring and practical handbook that new mothers and their families will refer to time and again.

A groundbreaking guide to raising responsible, capable, happy kids Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents, Dr. Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don’t need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe—or even punish. This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years. If you’re tired of power struggles, tantrums, and searching for the right “consequence,” look no further. You’re about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive, proven way.

LONGLISTED FOR THE PEN/HEMINGWAY AWARD FOR DEBUT NOVEL NAMED A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR BY AV CLUB, VULTURE, ESQUIRE AND LITERARY HUB One day, the mother was a mother, but then one night, she was quite suddenly something else... In this blazingly smart and voracious debut, an artist turned stay-at-home mom becomes convinced she's turning into a dog. An ambitious mother puts her art career on hold to stay at home with her newborn son, but the experience does not match her imagination. Two years later, she steps into the bathroom for a break from her toddler's demands, only to discover a dense patch of hair on the back of her neck. In the mirror, her canines suddenly look sharper than she remembers. Her husband, who travels for work five days a week, casually dismisses her fears from faraway hotel rooms. As the mother's symptoms intensify, and her temptation to give into her new dog impulses peak, she struggles to keep her alter-canine-identity secret. Seeking a cure at the library, she discovers the mysterious academic tome which becomes her bible, "A Field Guide to Magical Women: A Mythical Ethnography," and meets a group of mommies involved in a multi-level-marketing scheme who may also be more than what they seem. An outrageously original novel of ideas about art, power and womanhood wrapped in a satirical fairy tale, Nightbitch will make you want to howl in laughter and recognition. And you should. You should howl as much as you want.

Why do men do so little at home? Why do women do so much? Why don't our egalitarian values match our lived experiences? Journalist-turned-psychologist Darcy Lockman offers a clear-eyed look at the most pernicious problem facing modern parents—how progressive relationships become traditional ones when children are introduced into the household. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly persists: the disproportionate amount of parental work that falls to women, no matter their background, class, or professional status. All the Rage investigates the cause of this pervasive inequity to answer why, in households where both parents work full-time and agree that tasks should be equally shared, mothers’ household management, mental labor, and childcare contributions still outweigh fathers’. How, in a culture that pays lip service to women’s equality and lauds the benefits of father involvement—benefits that extend far beyond the well-being of the kids themselves—can a commitment to fairness in marriage melt away upon the arrival of children? Counting on male partners who will share the burden, women today have been left with what political scientists call unfulfilled, rising expectations. Historically these unmet expectations lie at the heart of revolutions, insurgencies, and civil unrest. If so many couples are living this way, and so many women are angered or just exhausted by it, why do we remain so stuck? Where is our revolution, our insurgency, our civil unrest? Darcy Lockman drills deep to find answers, exploring how the feminist promise of true domestic partnership almost never, in fact, comes to pass. Starting with her own marriage as a ground zero case study, she moves outward, chronicling the experiences of a diverse cross-section of women raising children with men; visiting new mothers’ groups and pioneering co-parenting specialists; and interviewing experts across academic fields, from gender studies professors and anthropologists to neuroscientists and primatologists. Lockman identifies three tenets that have upheld the cultural gender division of labor and peels back the ways in which both men and women unintentionally perpetuate old norms. If we can all agree that equal pay for equal work should be a given, can the same apply to unpaid work? Can justice finally come home?

THIS HIGHLY GIFTABLE DELUXE EDITION OF THE BESTSELLER INCLUDES THREE ALL-NEW CHAPTERS Motherhood is hard. In a world of five-step lists and silver-bullet solutions to become perfect parents, mothers are burdened with mixed messages about who they are and what choices they should make. If you feel pulled between high-fives and hard words, with culture’s solutions only raising more questions, you’re not alone. But there is hope. You might think that Scripture doesn’t have much to say about the food you make for breakfast, how you view your postpartum body, or what school choice you make for your children, but a deeper look reveals that the Bible provides the framework for finding answers to your specific questions about modern motherhood. Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler help you understand and apply the gospel to common issues moms face so you can connect your Sunday morning faith to the Monday morning tantrum. Discover how closely the gospel connects with today’s motherhood. Join Emily and Laura as they walk through the redemptive story and reveal how the gospel applies to your everyday life, bringing hope, freedom, and joy in every area of motherhood.

"In this honest memoir, May recounts how she came to feel connected with her body again. It's a moving work for new moms about a subject that is often overlooked in conversations about postpartum depression." —Real Simple Molly Caro May grapples with questions of grief and rage as she undergoes several unexpected health issues after the birth of her first child. Body Full of Stars both reveals deeper truths about how disconnected many modern women are from their bodies and celebrates the greatest story of all time: mothers and daughters, partners and co–parents, and the feminine power surging beneath it all.

Tens of thousands of moms who struggle with anger have found hope, laughter, understanding, and biblical counsel in She's Gonna Blow! With over 100,000 in print, this bestseller now has a fresh cover and a new practical helps section with more resources and step-by-step advice. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages of Children, tells readers that Julie Ann Barnhill "has learned from her journey, and so will you...You'll identify with Julie's open, honest approach." Straightforward and easy-to-read, She's Gonna Blow! is for every mom seeking here-and-now hope and help to... find healthier ways of expressing anger let go of "control" issues and be more positive draw closer to the God who created moms and mothering