Mortician Life

Morticians, also known as undertakers, funeral directors, or "death service" professionals, prepare bodies for burial or cremation, and they arrange the details of the funeral service and other end-of-life matters. They own compassion, as well as good interpersonal, business and time-management skills. They also have knowledge of laws and ethics regarding funeral service and preparations. Working as a Mortician isn't easy and can be very stressful. Studies have shown that coloring is one of the best stress-relieving activities that help you stay inspired and in the moment. Feel relaxed and melts stress away if you want to continue to function at your best. Enjoy the snarky Mortician Life with each page you color. This coloring book contains funny and humorous Mortician-related designs and sayings surrounded by intricate details, beautiful patterns, mandalas, and flowers, etc... Perfect Gift for Morticians - Humorous Coloring book for Grown-Ups Features: Large 8 1/2 by 11-inch paper (22cm x 28cm) pages. Single-sided pages for easy removal and no bleed-through. Printed on pure white paper, 60lb-pound stock. Contains 25 unique illustrations. 2 Color test pages at the back of the book.

The blogger behind Confessions of a Funeral Director—what Time magazine called a "must read"—reflects on mortality and the powerful lessons death holds for every one of us in this compassionate and thoughtful spiritual memoir that combines the humor and insight of Smoke Gets in Your Eyes with the poignancy and brevity of When Breath Becomes Air. We are a people who deeply fear death. While humans are biologically wired to evade death for as long as possible, we have become too adept at hiding from it, vilifying it, and—when it can be avoided no longer—letting the professionals take over. Sixth-generation funeral director Caleb Wilde understands this reticence and fear. He had planned to get as far away from the family business as possible. He wanted to make a difference in the world, and how could he do that if all the people he worked with were . . . dead? Slowly, he discovered that caring for the deceased and their loved ones was making a difference—in other people’s lives to be sure, but it also seemed to be saving his own. A spirituality of death began to emerge as he observed: The family who lovingly dressed their deceased father for his burial The act of embalming a little girl that offered a gift back to her grieving family The nursing home that honored a woman’s life by standing in procession as her body was taken away The funeral that united a conflicted community Through stories like these, told with equal parts humor and poignancy, Wilde offers an intimate look into the business and a new perspective on living and dying

After 50 years in the funeral business, 80-year-old grandmother-undertaker June Knights Nadle has seen it all — at least all of what goes on before, during, and after life’s ultimate challenge. In Mortician Diaries, she combines equal doses of charm, humanity, humor, and reality to tell it like it is on this taboo subject. A kind of Prairie Home Companion set in a mortuary, the book features memorable stories of regret — “I wish I had kissed him on the morning he had the accident” — and renewal, as the lesson of facing life’s last great event is learned, or not. Some of the accounts here are funny, some sad. Some are haunting in their strangeness as they reveal the many ways in which people cope. Along the way, the reader is drawn into Nadle’s own life story as an unconventional woman who devoted herself to the dead and to those they left behind.

A New York Times and Los Angeles Times Bestseller “Doughty chronicles [death] practices with tenderheartedness, a technician’s fascination, and an unsentimental respect for grief.” —Jill Lepore, The New Yorker Fascinated by our pervasive fear of dead bodies, mortician Caitlin Doughty embarks on a global expedition to discover how other cultures care for the dead. From Zoroastrian sky burials to wish-granting Bolivian skulls, she investigates the world’s funerary customs and expands our sense of what it means to treat the dead with dignity. Her account questions the rituals of the American funeral industry—especially chemical embalming—and suggests that the most effective traditions are those that allow mourners to personally attend to the body of the deceased. Exquisitely illustrated by artist Landis Blair, From Here to Eternity is an adventure into the morbid unknown, a fascinating tour through the unique ways people everywhere confront mortality.

"Morbid and illuminating" (Entertainment Weekly)—a young mortician goes behind the scenes of her curious profession. Armed with a degree in medieval history and a flair for the macabre, Caitlin Doughty took a job at a crematory and turned morbid curiosity into her life’s work. She cared for bodies of every color, shape, and affliction, and became an intrepid explorer in the world of the dead. In this best-selling memoir, brimming with gallows humor and vivid characters, she marvels at the gruesome history of undertaking and relates her unique coming-of-age story with bold curiosity and mordant wit. By turns hilarious, dark, and uplifting, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes reveals how the fear of dying warps our society and "will make you reconsider how our culture treats the dead" (San Francisco Chronicle).

In this true story—a haunting saga of medical murder set in an era of steamships and gaslights—Gregg Olsen reveals one of the most unusual and disturbing criminal cases in American history. In 1911 two wealthy British heiresses, Claire and Dora Williamson, arrived at a sanitorium in the forests of the Pacific Northwest to undergo the revolutionary “fasting treatment” of Dr. Linda Burfield Hazzard. It was supposed to be a holiday for the two sisters, but within a month of arriving at what the locals called Starvation Heights, the women underwent brutal treatments and were emaciated shadows of their former selves. Claire and Dora were not the first victims of Linda Hazzard, a quack doctor of extraordinary evil and greed. But as their jewelry disappeared and forged bank drafts began transferring their wealth to Hazzard’s accounts, the sisters came to learn that Hazzard would stop at nothing short of murder to achieve her ambitions.

The #1 Gift For Morticians In this adult coloring book we have put together tons of hilarious Mortician puns, artworks etc. This makes for the perfect gift for any Mortician. What's Inside... 25 hilarious and relatable phrases, puns etc with abstract designs and intricate details Single-sided 8.5" x 11" (22cm x 28cm) coloring pages that allow for the pages to be removed Suitable for markers, felt tips, gel pens, coloring pencils etc "Mortician nutritional facts" "Instant Mortician, Just add coffee" "Don't make me use my Mortician voice" Please see the back cover for preview Each page is designed with beautiful patterns, swirls, mandalas, flowers etc... color away while letting the steam out. Being a Mortician can be extremly stressful so enjoy mindfulness and relaxation with this brilliant anti-stress therapy. Release your stress in the most enjoyable way possible. Order now and get started.

A sassy, heart-breaking and jaw-dropping memoir of life behind the scenes in a funeral home and strip club, written with all the panache, honesty and sensitivity of Rosie Waterland's The Anti-Cool Girl and Sarah Krasnostein's The Trauma Cleaner. Emma Jane Holmes had her dream job, working in the funeral industry, caring for those who could no longer care for themselves. But when the bills mounted after her marriage breakdown, she turned to her other dream - dancing on stage as a showgirl - and her glittering alter ego Madison was born. Emma Jane kept Madison a secret. Madison kept Emma Jane an even bigger one. But what happens when death touches the neon world of the strip club? And sex - in the form of a cute co-worker - encroaches on the funeral home? Could the answer be life, lived in the day, because that's the only day you have? Emma Jane Holmes' debut will take you into the mortuary, cemetery and crematorium - and behind the scenes in night clubs - and answer all the questions you never wanted to ask ... PRAISE 'A beautiful insight into two industries we're all curious about, full of warmth and wit' - Carly Findlay OAM, author of Say Hello 'Meet Australia's most outrageous mortician ... her stories are deadly' - news.com.au 'Emma Jane Holmes shines a beautiful light on love, death and connection' - Samantha X, author of Hooked 'We're all going to die sometime ... Emma Jane Holmes brings so much light to the subject' - Andy Dowling, Andy Social podcast