My Custom Van

A volume of irreverent essays by the comedian from The State and Stella considers such topics as why salami is the world's greatest lunch meat and what Billy Joel would be thinking on his way to a party where there would be a piano.

Get ready for the read of your life. Never before has a single book combined awesome vans, unicorns, Billy Joel, and erotic fiction in such a potent combination. A writing tour de force? Perhaps. A reading experience that will sear itself into your consciousness like a red-hot branding iron? Without question. Comedian and basic cable superstar Michael Ian Black unleashes the full fury of his astonishing intellect in this collection of short comic essays. My Custom Van is a no-holds-barred assault to the funny bone that will literally beat you into submission with hilarity*. How did he do it? How did he create such a fine anthology? Answer: With love. Michael opened his heart and used the magical power of love to write more than fifty thought-provoking essays like, "Why I Used a Day-Glo Magic Marker to Color My Dick Yellow," and "An Open Letter to the Hair Stylist Who Somehow Convinced Me to Get a Perm When I Was in Sixth Grade." Maybe you think love is not a substitute for "good writing skills" and "spell check." Bull pucky! When it comes to writing books, love is the most powerful word processor of all. Sounds pretty great, right? And yet...something is still holding you back from paying the full purchase price of this book. What is it? Perhaps you secretly believe you do not deserve a book this good. Nonsense -- you deserve this book and so much more. In fact, if Michael could have written you all the stars in the sky, that's what he would have done. But he couldn't do that, due to his lack of knowledge in the area of astronomy. So he wrote this book instead. And this flap copy. Enjoy. * Michael Ian Black is not responsible for any actual injuries caused by reading this book.

Want to wake up to a breathtaking new view every morning? Have you been dreaming about owning a vehicle to fuel your adventures? Building a campervan gives you total freedom to create your very own rolling home. Escape the daily grind, hit the open road and re-write the way you live. The Van Conversion Bible is the ultimate guide to planning, designing and converting a campervan. It’s more than just the story of how we built our own van Ringo, it will help you build a van bespoke to your needs. It provides definitive answers to your questions (even the ones you haven’t thought of yet!) to ensure you save time and avoid expensive mistakes. From detailed gas, water and electrical system diagrams to a step-by-step build guide, you’ll find everything you need to start your journey inside. Whatever your skills and budget, you can learn how to build your dream campervan. Your very own home on wheels awaits…

Sunday Times bestseller 'When I see something old, that I think is beautiful, special, valuable, it's not about the money. It's about being in another time and place.' Star of TV's Salvage Hunters, Drew Pritchard will go to the greatest lengths for the best deals. He discovered the casts Lord Elgin made of his infamous marbles in a school garage, and broke the bank to buy the tool box Malcolm Campbell used when he set the water speed record in 1934. He made a million. Lost it. And made it again. The face of the compulsively fascinating business of finding and restoring lost treasures, visionary Drew takes us up and down the country, into garages, factories, schools and pubs, digging out incredible items from that 'other time and place'. Then by lovingly restoring them, he brings our history back to life. A flat cap among silver spoons and old school ties, our favourite no-bullshit expert may be a one-off, but his story makes us all dream of that obscure piece of antiquity gathering dust in the garden shed...

Build your dream van. Jumping into van life and living in a home on wheels doesn't mean you need to give up comfort or modernity. This book will guide you through every step, from choosing a van, to designing the layout, to plumbing and electrical systems, to self-building your new dream home -- all in as little as 21 days.- Zero Experience Required. We built our dream van with zero prior experience! Before the build, we had desk jobs -- and had never even touched many of the tools we used.- 220 pages of details. We cover every step of the process with charts, lists, photos, and descriptions to help you design and build your own campervan or motorhome from scratch. - Save Money & Time. We spent 9 months planning for our build, scouring an overwhelming number of articles and videos for the best and most useful information. This book will save you months of research, and help you make fewer mistakes.

Lf you've ever dreamed of breaking loose across North America in your own bus, truck, camper, or van, here is an illustrated handbook that tells you: how to find, buy, renovate and live in your vehicle, with designs for every conceivable need and lifestyle; how to license, insure, and service your bus, truck or van; storage space and how to build it; refrigeration, sanitation, and water supply; lighting, electricity, windows; traveling with babies, small children, and pets; food, kitchens, cooking; obtaining supplies on the road; survival necessities: lists of tools, reference books, medicines; financing your trip-without being tied down to a iob; traveling in Mexico and Canada; and caravaning. The obscure byways and well-travelled highways, beautiful mountains and wide open spaces of an entire continent are waiting for you. Now's the time to hit the road.--From publisher description.

If I built a car, it'd be totally new! Here are a few of the things that I'd do. . . . Young Jack is giving an eye-opening tour of the car he'd like to build. There's a snack bar, a pool, and even a robot named Robert to act as chauffeur. With Jack's soaring imagination in the driver's seat, we're deep-sea diving one minute and flying high above traffic the next in this whimsical, tantalizing take on the car of the future. Illustrations packed with witty detail, bright colors, and chrome recall the fabulous fifties and an era of classic American automobiles. Infectious rhythm and clever invention make this wonderful read-aloud a launch pad for imaginative fun.