New Year Same Trash

Comedian, blogger and essayist Samantha Irby is not going to be a better person this year than she was last. Nope. With a small group of woo-woo others, Irby sets seventy micro-resolutions, and then—with the rest of us—she fails at almost every single one of them. Thoughtful, witty, poignant—the failed intentions in New Year Same Trash will make you laugh and cry. Because you know you’ve been there. You can’t wake up in time to go to brunch. Swimming three times a week? Who are you kidding. You’re not going to shower every day or pack your lunch every day. You’re definitely not going to choose a smart movie over mindless entertainment, because you’re tired. You’re lazy. And, no, you’re never going to be a positive thinker. “I didn’t do this. I’m gonna. Maybe.” Don’t worry. It’s okay. There’s always next year. Instantly recognizable to anyone who’s ever failed to make goals and stick with them, New Year Same Trash will bring hilarious relief. A Vintage Shorts Original. An ebook short.

Winner of 2021 Lambda Literary Award for Bisexual Nonfiction • #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From Samantha Irby, beloved author of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life, a rip-roaring, edgy and unabashedly raunchy new collection of hilarious essays. “Stay-up-all-night, miss-your-subway-stop, spit-out-your-beverage funny.... irresistible as a snack tray, as intimately pleasurable as an Irish goodbye.” —Jia Tolentino Irby is forty, and increasingly uncomfortable in her own skin despite what Inspirational Instagram Infographics have promised her. She has left her job as a receptionist at a veterinary clinic, has published successful books and has been friendzoned by Hollywood, left Chicago, and moved into a house with a garden that requires repairs and know-how with her wife in a Blue town in the middle of a Red state where she now hosts book clubs and makes mason jar salads. This is the bourgeois life of a Hallmark Channel dream. She goes on bad dates with new friends, spends weeks in Los Angeles taking meetings with "tv executives slash amateur astrologers" while being a "cheese fry-eating slightly damp Midwest person," "with neck pain and no cartilage in [her] knees," who still hides past due bills under her pillow. The essays in this collection draw on the raw, hilarious particulars of Irby's new life. Wow, No Thank You. is Irby at her most unflinching, riotous, and relatable.

In this book, the first of a series, Robin D. Gill, author of the highly acclaimed Rise, Ye Sea Slugs! and Cherry Blossom Epiphany, the largest single-theme anthologies of poetry ever published, explores the traditional Japanese New Year through 2,000 translated haiku (mostly 17-20c). "The New Year," R.H. Blyth once wrote, "is a season by itself." That was nowhere so plain as in the world of haiku, where saijiki, large collections called of ku illustrating hundreds, if not thousands of briefly explained seasonal themes, generally comprised five volumes, one for each season. Yet, the great doyen of haiku gave this fifth season, considered the first season when it came at the head of the Spring rather than in mid-winter, only a tenth of the pages he gave to each of the other four seasons (20 vs. 200). Was Blyth, Zen enthusiast, not enamored with ritual? Or, was he loath to translate the New Year with its many cultural idiosyncrasies (most common to the Sinosphere but not to the West), because he did not want to have to explain the haiku? It is hard to say, but, with these poems for the re-creation of the world, Robin D. Gill, aka "keigu" (respect foolishness, or respect-fool), rushes in where even Blyth feared to tread to give this supernatural or cosmological season - one that combines aspects of the Solstice, Christmas, New Year's, Easter, July 4th and the Once Upon a Time of Fairy Tales - the attention it deserves. With G.K. Chesterton's words, evoking the mind of the haiku poets of old, the author-publisher leaves further description of the content to his reader-reviewers. "The man standing in his own kitchen-garden with the fairyland opening at the gate, is the man with large ideas. His mind creates distance; the motor-car stupidly destroys it." (G.K. Chesterton: Heretics 1905)

Kory made a mistake when he only fired a warning shot. Seconds later, the intruder had a gun to his sons head. Life has always been one great challenge after another; Korys challenge thirty years laterMS.

The smart, edgy, hilarious, and unabashedly raunchy New York Times bestselling author explodes onto the printed page in her uproarious first collection of essays. "Whether she’s writing about her latest inflammatory bowel disease attack or documenting a sexual escapade gone awry (sometimes simultaneously), you’ll most likely be able to relate to Irby’s tell-all book. Her raw honesty and scathing sense of humor will make you laugh out loud." —JET Irby laughs her way through tragicomic mishaps, neuroses, and taboos as she struggles through adulthood: chin hairs, depression, bad sex, failed relationships, masturbation, taco feasts, inflammatory bowel disease and more. Updated with her favorite Instagramable, couch-friendly recipes, this much-beloved romp is treat for anyone in dire need of Irby's infamous, scathing wit and poignant candor. Don't miss Samantha Irby's bestselling new book, Quietly Hostile!

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Lambda Literary Award for Bisexual Nonfiction Award Winner • A rip-roaring, edgy and unabashedly raunchy new collection of hilarious essays from the New York Times bestselling author of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life. “Stay-up-all-night, miss-your-subway-stop, spit-out-your-beverage funny.” —Jia Tolentino, New York Times bestselling author of Trick Mirror Irby is forty, and increasingly uncomfortable in her own skin despite what Inspirational Instagram Infographics have promised her. She has left her job as a receptionist at a veterinary clinic, has published successful books and has been friendzoned by Hollywood, left Chicago, and moved into a house with a garden that requires repairs and know-how with her wife in a Blue town in the middle of a Red state where she now hosts book clubs and makes mason jar salads. This is the bourgeois life of a Hallmark Channel dream. She goes on bad dates with new friends, spends weeks in Los Angeles taking meetings with "tv executives slash amateur astrologers" while being a "cheese fry-eating slightly damp Midwest person," "with neck pain and no cartilage in [her] knees," who still hides past due bills under her pillow. The essays in this collection draw on the raw, hilarious particulars of Irby's new life. Wow, No Thank You. is Irby at her most unflinching, riotous, and relatable. Don't miss Samantha Irby's bestselling new book, Quietly Hostile!

What is it about the term 'wellness' that sets your teeth on edge? Do you really need someone to come in and help you declutter? Can you truly practice mindful meditation on the train to work every morning? If the answer to all these questions is a resounding 'no', then take heart, you're not alone. What is life without struggle? Everyone knows it's impossible to float through life on a fluffy pillow of happiness; it just isn't like that. As Alan Coren once said, 'To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.' Hear hear! This book is for those who look at life from a different angle, not wearing rose-tinted glasses with their glass half full, but for life's realists: the folk who believe one should never go to bed angry . much better to stay awake and plot your revenge. In New Year, Same You you'll find lots of laugh-out-loud humour to brighten your day (or not). Filled with words from the wise, this is the perfect book for grumps everywhere, after all, why make one person unhappy when, with a little more thought and effort, you could spread misery to the entire family?

IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT 'Twas the Night Before New Year's… And all through the house, everybody was celebrating… except Gina Tarantino. Ringing in the New Year only made her realize how lonely she was. But at the stroke of midnight, she found herself in a passionate embrace with a sexy stranger. An embrace that continued well after the party was over…. Bad boy Jackson Gray was a true loner. But after a heated night of love with Gina, he was starting to reconsider. Unfortunately, all Gina wanted was a single night. Could Jackson convince her that practice makes perfect? It Happened One Night A single sizzling night of love…could lead anywhere!