Parenting Outside The Lines

No-nonsense, sanity-saving insights from the Washington Post on Parenting columnist--for anyone who's drowning in parental pressure and advice that doesn't work. Ever feel overwhelmed by the stress and perfectionism of our overparenting culture--and at the same time, still look for solutions to ease the struggles of everyday family life? Parenting coach and Washington Post columnist Meghan Leahy feels your pain. Like her clients and readers, she grew weary of the endless "shoulds" of modern parenting--along with the simplistic rules and advice that often hurt more than help. Filled with insights based on child development and hard-won lessons in the trenches, this honest guide presents a new approach, offering permission to practice imperfect parenting with a strong dose of common sense, empathy, and laughter. You'll gain perspective on trusting your gut, picking your battles, and when to question what's "normal" (as opposed to what works best for your child). Forget impossible standards and dogma, and serving organic salmon to four-year-olds. Forget helicopters, tiger moms, and being "mindful" in the middle of a meltdown (your child's or your own). Instead, discover relatable insights for staying connected to your child and true to the parent you want to be (and already are).

So begins this controversial and enlightened book by Roger Schank, Ph.D., a world-renowned expert on teaming, who believes that every day of the school year our children are being failed by an academic system that does nothing to stir a lifelong passion for learning. In this lively, sometimes alarming book, Schank shatters the myths about how children learn and offers candid advice for parents who want to raise kids with gumption, ambition, creativity, inquisitiveness, and analytic and verbal proficiency.

The author describes how she forged positive relationships with her sons through Attachment Parenting practices, sharing advice on how to address a child's needs without resorting to pop culture trends.

A guide that helps parents focus on their children's unique strengths and inclinations rather than on gendered stereotypes to more effectively bring out the best in their individual children, for parents of infants to middle schoolers. Reliance on Gendered Stereotypes Negatively Impacts Kids Studies on gender and child development show that, on average, parents talk less to baby boys and are less likely to use numbers when speaking to little girls. Without meaning to, we constantly color-code children, segregating them by gender based on their presumed interests. Our social dependence on these norms has far-reaching effects, such as leading girls to dislike math or increasing aggression in boys. In this practical guide, developmental psychologist (and mother of two) Christia Spears Brown uses science-based research to show how over-dependence on gender can limit kids, making it harder for them to develop into unique individuals. With a humorous, fresh, and accessible perspective, Parenting Beyond Pink & Blueaddresses all the issues that contemporary parents should consider—from gender-segregated birthday parties and schools to sports, sexualization, and emotional intelligence. This guide empowers parents to help kids break out of pink and blue boxes to become their authentic selves.

They go by many names: helicopter parents, hovercrafts, PFHs (Parents from Hell). The news media is filled with stories of well-intentioned parents going to ridiculous extremes to remove all obstacles from their child’s path to greatness . . . or at least to an ivy league school. From cradle to college, they remain intimately enmeshed in their children’s lives, stifling their development and creating infantilized, spoiled, immature adults unprepared to make the decisions necessary for the real world. Or so the story goes. Drawing on a wealth of eye-opening interviews with parents across the country, Margaret K. Nelson cuts through the stereotypes and hyperbole to examine the realities of what she terms “parenting out of control.” Situating this phenomenon within a broad sociological context, she finds several striking explanations for why today’s prosperous and well-educated parents are unable to set realistic boundaries when it comes to raising their children. Analyzing the goals and aspirations parents have for their children as well as the strategies they use to reach them, Nelson discovers fundamental differences among American parenting styles that expose class fault lines, both within the elite and between the elite and the middle and working classes. Nelson goes on to explore the new ways technology shapes modern parenting. From baby monitors to cell phones (often referred to as the world’s longest umbilical cord), to social networking sites, and even GPS devices, parents have more tools at their disposal than ever before to communicate with, supervise, and even spy on their children. These play important and often surprising roles in the phenomenon of parenting out of control. Yet the technologies parents choose, and those they refuse to use, often seem counterintuitive. Nelson shows that these choices make sense when viewed in the light of class expectations. Today’s parents are faced with unprecedented opportunities and dangers for their children, and are evolving novel strategies to adapt to these changes. Nelson’s lucid and insightful work provides an authoritative examination of what happens when these new strategies go too far.

In this collection of her finest and best-known short essays, Natalia Ginzburg explores both the mundane details and inescapable catastrophes of personal life with the grace and wit that have assured her rightful place in the pantheon of classic mid-century authors. Whether she writes of the loss of a friend, Cesare Pavese; or what is inexpugnable of World War II; or the Abruzzi, where she and her first husband lived in forced residence under Fascist rule; or the importance of silence in our society; or her vocation as a writer; or even a pair of worn-out shoes, Ginzburg brings to her reflections the wisdom of a survivor and the spare, wry, and poetically resonant style her readers have come to recognize. "A glowing light of modern Italian literature . . . Ginzburg's magic is the utter simplicity of her prose, suddenly illuminated by one word that makes a lightning streak of a plain phrase. . . . As direct and clean as if it were carved in stone, it yet speaks thoughts of the heart.' — The New York Times Book Review

Need a break . . . now? Horizontal Parenting offers 50 hilarious and effective activities designed to entertain kids while you lie down. Children are exhausting! In the marathon of modern parenting, everyone needs a break—just 10 precious minutes to rest your body and tune out the chaos. Enter Horizontal Parenting, the super-simple parenting hack for everyone, everywhere. With creative and practical advice for overworked parents and caretakers who "just need a minute," this book includes 50 fun, effective, and hilarious games to play with toddlers and children while lying down. Activities include: • What's on My Butt • Hide and Seek-ish • Don't Wake the Giant • Railroad to Relaxation • And many more! Relax and let your little ones release some energy while you catch your breath (and maybe a few even a few z's). All you need is a comfortable surface, a few household items, and your child's imagination, and you too can master the sanity-saving art of horizontal parenting. • 50 activities to keep your kids engaged and keep you lying down • Entertaining ideas for children and toddlers • No endless supply lists, screens, or batteries needed • Perfect for long days at home • Great gift for new (or seasoned!) parents Perfect for: parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and caretakers of kids ages 2+

It's socially acceptable to spend a day watching sports or sitcoms, but it's shameful and embarrassing to admit to the same about erotic media. Why is it that sex is so often deemed "inappropriate" and considered something we must keep private or even ignore? Our culture is afraid of sex. We feel the need to label what is normal and what isn't, and as a result, we live in a relational and sexually unhealthy culture. In reality, far more harm is caused by labeling sexual expression as "obscene" than by celebrating it. In Sex Outside the Lines: Authentic Sexuality in a Sexually Dysfunctional Culture, Chris Donaghue, PhD, explores and challenges the negative ideals that have warped society's view of sex. Sex Outside the Lines is not a dogmatic rule book, but a valuable guide to help you on your journey to sexual self-discovery and, most important, self-acceptance. Donaghue encourages you to not only explore your capacity for pleasure, but to be proud of it and to take a look at how you could be living. In his years of training in sex and couples therapy, Donaghue has developed highly successful methods for freeing clients from sexual hang-ups, enabling them to let go of shame and embarrassment. The goal isn't to be "normal"—there is no such thing. Donaghue pulls apart cultural phobias with a sex-positive therapy practice, as well as a kind of sexual deprograming that helps people see and accept that the desires they have—even if they don't align with society's expectations—are actually natural, healthy, and part of having a great sex life. Sex Outside the Lines addresses our diversity, challenges conventional psychiatric wisdom as classifying perfectly normal behavior as disorders, and disregards conventional advice from leading experts. It isn't advocating a "liberal" approach to modern concepts—it is seeking to redefine them altogether.