Parentless Parents

Parentless Parents is the first book to show how the absence of grandparents impacts everything about the way mothers and fathers raise their children--from everyday parenting decisions to the relationships they have with their spouses and in-laws. For the first time in U.S. history, as the average age of women giving birth has increased significantly, millions of children are at risk of having fewer years with their grandparents than ever before. How has this substantial shift affected parents and kids? Journalist, award-winning television producer, and parentless parent Allison Gilbert has polled and studied more than 1,300 parentless parents from across the United States and a dozen other countries to find out. Through her pioneering research, Gilbert not only shares her own story and the significant and poignant effect that this trend has had on her and hundreds of other families, but also the myriad ways these mothers and fathers have learned to keep the memory of their parents alive for their children, and to find the support and understanding they need.

"Dan Neuharth's book demystifies much within our pasts that can hurt our intimate relationships in ways we may not even realize. If You Had Controlling Parents helps spark understanding and acceptance across generations." — John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating disorders? In your intimate relationships, have you found it difficult to get close without losing your sense of self? If so, you may be among the fifteen million adults in the United States who were raised with unhealthy parental control. In this groundbreaking bestseller by accomplished family therapist Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., you'll discover whether your parents controlled eating, appearance, speech, decisions, feelings, social life, and other aspects of your childhood—and whether that control may underlie problems you still struggle with in adulthood. Packed with inspiring case studies and dozens of practical suggestions, this book shows you how to leave home emotionally so you can improve assertiveness, boundaries, and confidence, quiet you "inner critics," and bring more balance to your moods and relationships. Offering compassion, not blame, Dr. Neuharth helps you make peace with your past and avoid overcontrolling your children and other loved ones.

A vulnerable, honest and deeply personal guide to finding your way through grief. Flora Baker was only twenty when her mum died suddenly of cancer. Her coping strategy was simple: ignore the magnitude of her loss. But when her dad became terminally ill nine years later, Flora was forced to confront the reality of grief. She had to accept that her life had changed forever. In The Adult Orphan Club, Flora draws on a decade of experience with grief and parent loss to explore all the chaotic ways that grief affects us, and how we can learn to navigate it. Written with the newly bereaved in mind and packed with practical tips and advice, this book guides the reader through every step of their grief journey and opens up the death conversation in an honest, heartfelt and accessible way. Whether you’re grieving your own loss or supporting someone else through grief, The Adult Orphan Club will show you that you’re not broken, and you’re not alone.

Passed and Present is a one-of-a-kind guide for discovering creative and meaningful ways to keep the memory of loved ones alive. Inspiring and imaginative, this bona fide "how-to” manual teaches us how to remember those we miss most, no matter how long they’ve been gone. Passed and Present is not about sadness and grieving. It is about happiness and remembering. It is possible to look forward, to live a rich and joyful life, while keeping the memory of loved ones alive. This much-needed, easy-to-use roadmap shares 85 imaginative ways to celebrate and honor family and friends we never want to forget. Chapter topics include: Repurpose With Purpose: Ideas for transforming objects and heirlooms. Discover ways to reimagine photographs, jewelry, clothing, letters, recipes, and virtually any inherited item or memento. Use Technology: Strategies for your daily, digital life. Opportunities for using computers, scanners, printers, apps, mobile devices, and websites. Not Just Holidays: Tips for remembrance any time of year, day or night, whenever you feel that pull, be it a loved one’s birthday, an anniversary, or just a moment when a memory catches you by surprise. Monthly Guide: Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and other special times of year present unique challenges and opportunities. This chapter provides exciting ideas for making the most of them while keeping your loved one’s memory alive. Places to Go: Destinations around the world where reflecting and honoring loved ones is a communal activity. This concept is called Commemorative Travel. Also included are suggestions for incorporating aspects of these foreign traditions into your practices at home. Being proactive about remembering loved ones has a powerful and unexpected benefit: it can make you happier. The more we incorporate memories into our year-round lives as opposed to sectioning them off to a particular time of year, the more we can embrace the people who have passed, and all that’s good and fulfilling in our present. With beautiful illustrations throughout by artist Jennifer Orkin Lewis, Passed and Present also includes an introduction by Hope Edelman, bestselling author of Motherless Daughters.

This book contains selected contributions presented during the workshop “Establishing Filiation: Towards a Social Definition of the Family in Islamic and Middle Eastern Law?”, which was convened in Beirut, Lebanon in November 2017. Filiation is a multifaceted concept in Muslim jurisdictions. Beyond its legal aspect, it encompasses the notion of inclusion and belonging, thereby holding significant social implications. Being the child of someone, carrying one’s father’s name, and inheriting from both parents form important pillars of personal identity. This volume explores filiation (nasab) and alternative forms of a full parent-child relationship in Muslim jurisdictions. Eleven country reports ranging from Morocco to Malaysia examine how maternal and paternal filiation is established – be it by operation of the law, by the parties’ exercise of autonomy, such as acknowledgement, or by scientific means, DNA testing in particular – and how lawmakers, courts, and society at large view and treat children who fall outside those legal structures, especially children born out of wedlock or under dubious circumstances. In a second step, alternative care schemes in place for the protection of parentless children are examined and their potential to recreate a legal parent-child relationship is discussed. In addition to the countr y-specific analyses included in this book, three further contributions explore the subject matter from perspectives of premodern Sunni legal doctrine, premodern Shiite legal doctrine and the private international law regimes of contemporary Arab countries. Finally, a comparative analysis of the themes explored is presented in the synopsis at the end of this volume. The book is aimed at scholars in the fields of Muslim family law and comparative family law and is of high practical relevance to legal practitioners working in the area of international child law. Nadjma Yassari is Leader of the Research Group “Changes in God’s Law: An Inner-Islamic Comparison of Family and Succession Law” at the Max Planck Institute for Comparative and International Private Law while Lena-Maria Möller is a Senior Research Fellow at the Max Planck Institute and a member of the same Research Group. Marie-Claude Najm is a Professor in the Faculty of Law and Political Science at Saint Joseph University of Beirut in Lebanon and Director of the Centre of Legal Studies and Research for the Arab World (CEDROMA).

The only book devoted to the full spectrum of the new mother's needs after the birth of a baby, covering medical, emotional, psychological, family, and marital issues and concerns.

“I had more or less resolved not to write a book about my parents. But I’m a writer, and when the universe hands you material like this, not writing about it amounts either to waste or a conscious act of evasion.” So begins award-winning satirist Christopher Buckley in the most personal and transcendent work of his life, the tragicomic true story of the year in which both of his parents died. In twelve months between 2007 and 2008, Buckley coped with the passing of his father, William F. Buckley, the father of the modern conservative movement, and his mother, Patricia Taylor Buckley, one of New York’s most glamorous and colorful socialites. He was their only child and their relationship was close and complicated. Writes Buckley: “They were not — with respect to every other set of loving, wonderful parents in the world — your typical mom and dad.” As Buckley tells the story of their final year together, he takes readers on a surprisingly entertaining tour through hospitals, funeral homes, and memorial services, capturing the heartbreaking and disorienting feeling of becoming a fifty-five-year-old orphan. Buckley maintains his sense of humor by recalling the words of Oscar Wilde: “To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both looks like carelessness.” Christopher Buckley offers consolation, wit, and warmth to those coping with the death of a parent, while telling a unique personal story of life with legends.

Doka explores a new, compassionate way to grieve as he explains that grief is not an illness to get over but an individual and ongoing journey. He upends the dominant but incorrect view that grief proceeds by stages, and helps us realize that our experiences following a death are far more individual and much less predictable than the conventional "five stages" model would have us believe. Doka also explains how to cope with disenfranchised grief, not so readily recognized or supported by society, such as the death of ex-spouses, the end of a friendship, job loss, or infertility.