Please God Let It Be Herpes

Humorist-writer-mammal Carlos Kotkin is lucky in love-if lucky in love means he's had enough horrible, pathetic, and downright bizarre dating experiences to write a book. His trouble with females usually begins upon opening his mouth. Here, Carlos shares his ups and mostly downs of bachelorhood, including romantic conquests with a slew of childhood crushes, insane yogis, a Playboy vixen, a STD host, the flaky, the deaf, and the just plain dumb. His unique mating style is not to be duplicated, but it will definitely make readers laugh-and want to get tested ASAP.

A unique manual to raising a child—for parents everywhere—using the metaphor of dance to provide expert, comforting advice. Having children and raising a family should be the greatest joy in one’s life, but it is a role that requires tremendous responsibility and patience. As parents, our job is to provide a strong foundation for our children, so that they can eventually grow up to become self-sufficient adults. However, just like everything in life, all children are different, some requiring more support than others and to varying degrees over time. Parenting is like a dance between parent and child. The more seamless the movements, the more graceful the interaction. When a parent takes the lead or decides to share, over time with practice, the dance can be smooth and effortless. Nevertheless, when the child is unintentionally allowed to take the lead, the parent-child dance may appear more rocky and unstable. This often occurs when the parent is unclear and at odds with their role. The ensuing battle for the lead may cause disharmony in the relationship and the dance. Parenting is a lifelong commitment that takes patience, thoughtfulness, and skill. The Parent-Child Dance is designed to explain the concept of the dance and act as a catalyst for encouraging parents to begin their journey in making positive changes in their child’s life. Parents will recognize the scenarios and gain insight through humorous examples and step-by-step strategies to avoid disharmony.

The funniest book ever written about why your religion is false!Whether you're a Christian or a Jew, a Muslim or a Hindu, a Rasta or a Jain, an Environmentalist or a Cheondoist, a Scientologist or a Giant Stone Head Worshipper, your religion is false.But don't feel bad -- so is everyone else's! When you want to know what not to believe, this is the only book you need.In addition, you'll learn* Why "god" doesn't exist* Why there's no such thing as a "soul"* How to find "meaning" in a religion-less world* Which of your religious heroes are pedophiles* Why "religious tolerance" is a terrible ideaAnd, as a bonus, the greatest religious joke ever told. You can't afford not to read this book!

A comedian and Moth veteran lays out useful tips and tricks for maximizing the impact of your stories—so you can nail it every time Do you ever wish you could tell a story that leaves others spellbound? Comedian, Upright Citizens Brigade storytelling program founder, and Moth champion Margot Leitman will show you how in this practical guide to storytelling. Using a fun, irreverent, and infographic approach, Long Story Short breaks a story into concrete components. From content and structure to emotional impact and delivery, Leitman guides you through the entire storytelling process, providing personal anecdotes, relatable examples, and practical exercises along the way. Using a fun, irreverent, and infographic approach, Long Story Short breaks a story into concrete components. From content and structure to emotional impact and delivery, Leitman guides you through the entire storytelling process, providing personal anecdotes, relatable examples, and practical exercises along the way.

In this book, Elder William D. Holmes talks about the importance of having faith in God. It is necessary to live a life to please God in true holiness and righteousness. He uses real-life testimonies and experiences of sanctified, Holy Ghost-filled believers he grew up with in the HolinessPentecostal Church. It is through these powerful, real-life testimonies and his own life experiences that cause him to speak with boldness that Jesus truly is a healer, miracle worker, and savior. He also uses Bible accounts of the miracle-working power of God through our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. He explains about the different tactics of Satan and how he will try to hinder a person from getting their deliverance from God, how we can defeat Satan and get our blessing, why it takes so long for God to answer prayers, the difference between healing being made whole, and what divine healing is and how God can work with medical profession to bring about healing. He talks about the different levels of the Spirit a believer can climb in God. This book gives a clear statement that, without holiness, no person shall see the Lord. Jesus came into the world, not only to forgive us of our sins, but to take sin out of us. Jesus also comes to deliver us from all sickness and disease. Through the stripes of Jesus, we can be healed. Take the limit off of God! This is a very powerful book to increase the faith of a believer to trust God through his only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to meet your every need.

A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.

Whether you bet on sports, scratch cards, roulette, poker, or slotsin a casino, at the track, or onlineproblem gambling can strain relationships, interfere with work, and lead to financial catastrophe. You may even do things you never thought you would, like stealing money to gamble or pay debts. You may think you cant stop, but with the right help, you can overcome a gambling problem or addiction and regain control of your life.

Conception could breed destruction... Flip MacDougal has always spelled trouble, but his tricks are all in good fun, and a few ruffled feathers are no cause for concern. After all, it's not as if the pranks of a playboy could endanger the entire human race...right? When Flip drops in on long-time friend Lionel Adam at his cutting edge genetic research lab, the answer to this question reveals itself with frightening clarity. Having acquired an otherworldly larva from past colleague Dr. Pritchard, Lionel and his team of scientists had been studying the sample for years, but all of their work was for naught. Thanks to Flip, one fateful spill results in a mess that may never be cleaned up. Making contact with the foreign material is more dangerous than anyone ever expected...and, soon, Flip's genetics begin to morph. Unfortunately, these changes go unnoticed as the man-about-town proceeds to visit his numerous female companions. These women, collectively known as 'Flip's Harem', will come to share more than a churlish lover. Progenies are pending...and they won't be fully human. --- Herein, Part IV of The FreeForm Series, disparate worlds are interwoven. O.J. Bradford proves himself a master of his craft.