Pregnancy Sucks

Pregnancy Sucks, by Joanne Kimes and Sanford A. Tisherman, M.D., gives you real solutions to all the annoying and somewhat awkward situations that can unexpectedly arise during your pregnancy. Did you know that: Farm-fresh butter, or petroleum jelly, works just as well for your itchy belly as a fancy and overpriced "pregnancy" product? If you're put on bedrest, walkie-talkies will allow you to yell at your husband-no matter where he is in the house! Surrounding yourself with regular pillows (don't forget to swipe your husband's) is just as good as buying a special large "pregnancy pillow"-and more adaptable to giving support where you personally need it? Doing the hokey pokey, or taking a warm shower, can ease Braxton Hicks contractions? Full of insight, hilarity, and practical solutions on every page, Pregnancy Sucks shows how, through it all, you can survive with your health, dignity, and sanity intact!

Sleep on the couch to make room for her gigantic pregnancy pillow Pass up tickets to the game since you'd "rather" register for the baby shower Haven't had sex since there was snow on the ground (and it's July) It may not make you sound like future father of the year, but there's one thing men everywhere can agree on: Pregnancy Sucks—for you. In this complete update of the bestselling first edition, Joanne and Jeff Kimes pair no-holds-barred humor with helpful advice to make sure you actually live to see the birth of your child. So whether you're sick of putting your foot in your mouth when you're trying to compliment her, you want the real scoop on what's going to go down in the delivery room (without the hospital-issued video), or you really just want a laugh (since you "volunteered" to give up drinking for the interminable nine months of her pregnancy), this book will tell you exactly what to do when that miracle of yours is making you totally, completely, just-cut-the-freakin'-cord-already! miserable.

Discusses the physical, emotional, and social challenges that can occur during pregnancy, from dealing with morning sickness and weight gain to feuding with one's family over the baby's name to suspecting that one's husband is having an affair. Original. 35,000 first printing.

That "glowing skin" everyone promised you looks remarkably similar to the hormonal acne you battled as a teen Your special bond with your husband? It means he can't sleep in the same room as you, thanks to your killer gas The lady at the grocery store remarks "it must be any day now!" when you haven't finished your second trimester You debut the perfect name for your baby—which your mother-in-law immediately describes as "interesting" (complete with a wrinkled nose) There's no doubt about it: Pregnancy isn't all it's cracked up to be. In this complete update of the bestselling first edition, Joanne Kimes pairs no-holds-barred humor with helpful advice to get you through the next nine months with (some level of) your sanity intact. So whether you're looking for the scoop on hypnobirthing, you want to know a cure for your hemorrhoids, or you really just want a laugh (even if you might pee in your maternity leggings), this book will tell you exactly what to do when that miracle of yours is making you totally, completely, gestationally miserable.

Sleep on the couch to make room for her gigantic pregnancy pillow Pass up tickets to the game since you'd "rather" register for the baby shower Haven't had sex since there was snow on the ground (and it's July) It may not make you sound like future father of the year, but there's one thing men everywhere can agree on: Pregnancy Sucks—for you. In this complete update of the bestselling first edition, Joanne and Jeff Kimes pair no-holds-barred humor with helpful advice to make sure you actually live to see the birth of your child. So whether you're sick of putting your foot in your mouth when you're trying to compliment her, you want the real scoop on what's going to go down in the delivery room (without the hospital-issued video), or you really just want a laugh (since you "volunteered" to give up drinking for the interminable nine months of her pregnancy), this book will tell you exactly what to do when that miracle of yours is making you totally, completely, just-cut-the-freakin'-cord-already! miserable.

Sleep on the couch to make room for her gigantic pregnancy pillow Pass up tickets to the game since you'd "rather" register for the baby shower Haven't had sex since there was snow on the ground (and it's July) It may not make you sound like future father of the year, but there's one thing men everywhere can agree on: Pregnancy Sucks—for you. In this complete update of the bestselling first edition, Joanne and Jeff Kimes pair no-holds-barred humor with helpful advice to make sure you actually live to see the birth of your child. So whether you're sick of putting your foot in your mouth when you're trying to compliment her, you want the real scoop on what's going to go down in the delivery room (without the hospital-issued video), or you really just want a laugh (since you "volunteered" to give up drinking for the interminable nine months of her pregnancy), this book will tell you exactly what to do when that miracle of yours is making you totally, completely, just-cut-the-freakin'-cord-already! miserable.

Infertility Sucks! The poking, the prodding and the probing. The endless examinations and the unbelievable questions all about the most intimate aspects of your life and body. And thats just from friends and family who are "trying to help!" This humorous and healing book is balm for the infertile womans soul. Put the jinx on Infertility Witchdoctors. Skip the baby showers. Stick the home pregnancy test sticks. Check out Duo-Disney (where the world walks only in pairs!), and take charge on the mother of them all Mothers Day. We know exactly how you feel. Infertility Sucks! "This is the book that infertile women have been waiting for. Theres nothing else like it. This is giving my clients the laugh they need, while also offering some very good advice." Paige Stuhr, LCSW Licensed Psychotherapist specializing in infertility

Bling. Flowers. Tulle. The three things that every little girl dreams of when she pictures her wedding day. What she doesn't consider is the stuff of nightmares: Overdrawn checking accounts. Drunk relatives. The seating chart that looks like a road map. In this book, Joanne Kimes and Elena Donovan Mauer expose the tedious (and often traumatic) tasks that really go into pulling off a wedding. From dealing with overbearing mothers-in-law and making time for their lovable, but clueless, fiancés to suffering through endless alterations and meetings with the con artists known as "vendors," there's a lot that you need to know. After all, a wedding is supposed to be something you look forward to—not something you have to endure before the honeymoon! Armed with Kimes' trademark, no-holds-barred humor, Donovan Mauer's bridal industry know-how, and copious amounts of wine, you'll get through the stress of planning your weddings with style, humor, and grace. Or, at the very least, without beating members of the wedding party with that $500 bouquet.