Read This Book And Never Fart Again

It's been almost a decade since the Fart Monster first entered the world, now he's back in this hilarious new book from bestselling creators Tim Miller and Matt Stanton When you've got a problem, who do you call? The fart monster has spent years releasing a barrage of bottom bazookas onto the world. Now, in a surprising twist, he's here to help put an end to those roars from the rear! Follow along at home as the fart monster leads us through his DIY guide to easing the common fart.

Meet Benjamin Franklin as you’ve never met him before . . . This hilarious collection includes the Founding Father’s satirical writings on farting, adultery, and other irreverent subjects you won’t find in your history books. A mention of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. But one of the most eloquent—and least expected—commentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. The writings in Fart Proudly reveal the rogue who lived peaceably within the philosopher and statesman. Included are “The Letter to a Royal Academy”; “On Choosing a Mistress”; “Rules on Making Oneself Disagreeable”; and other jibes. Franklin’s irrepressible wit found an outlet in perpetrating hoaxes, attacking marriage and other sacred cows, and skewering the English Parliament. Reminding us of the humorous, irreverent side of this American icon, these essays endure as both hilarious satire and a timely reminder of the importance of a free press.

So Ethan asked among his friends, 'Does everyone get wind?' Marty laughed, Fizz looked confused, and Sam just quietly grinned. But Little Trixie took offence. 'Girls don't fart -okay?! Only boys make bottom noise. We girls aren't built that way.' The boys just didn't believe her, and set themselves a test. To see if girls pass wind or not -that would be their quest. And so begins the hilarious, stinky tale about a smelly little boy named Ethan and his rag-tag group of friends who are on the hunt to catch a girl that farts. Filled with funny scenes filled with farting unicorns, mermaids and more, this title is sure to delight both boys and girls alike!

Yes, it's another damn book by political humorist Jason Johnson, who again tickles the funny bone while he punches the kidneys. Read his new collection of damn essays, including, "I Hate Sarah Palin and So Does Jesus," "Rape Isn't Always Funny," "Political Moderates Can Suck It," and the heart-warming "I Like It When Hunters Shoot Each Other," plus many more. It's a damned wild ride for anyone who bothers to read the damn thing.

"Old Macdonald heard a fart ... E-I-E-I-O!" There are some VERY rude noises coming from Old Macdonald's farm - who could be responsible?! Sing along to this side-splitting picture book adaptation of everyone's favourite nursery rhyme.

"Your life isn't over." My dad says this. "I mean, YOUR life isn't over. Beyond the kids. You'll go on living, doing things. This isn't it." I know, I assure him. I have the kids. They need me. They're my life now. "OK," he replies, then grunts—more of a brief hum. He only hums when he thinks I'm full of shit. Shockingly single. Amy Biancolli's life went off script more dramatically than most after her husband of twenty years jumped off the roof of a parking garage. Left with three children, a three-story house, and a pile of knotty psychological complications, Amy realizes the flooding dishwasher, dead car battery, rapidly growing lawn, basement sump pump, and broken doorknob aren't going to fix themselves. She also realizes that "figuring shit out" means accepting the horrors that came her way, rolling with them, slogging through them, helping others through theirs, and working her way through life with love and laughter. Amy Biancolli is an author and journalist whose column appears in the Albany Times Union. Before that, Amy served as film critic for the Houston Chronicle where her reviews, published around the country, won her the 2007 Comment and Criticism Award from the Texas Associated Press Managing Editors Association. Biancolli is the author of House of Holy Fools: A Family Portrait in Six Cracked Parts, which earned her Albany Author of the Year. Amy lives in Albany, New York, with her three children.

New 2021 Father's Day Gift Idea For Dad AND the Kids! Is your Dad the family's number 1 farter? Looking for something that Dad can read with his kids? Want a children's story book that will have everyone smiling and laughing till the end? Introducing My Dad Loves to Toot by Tootin' Tom! Follow Dad's hilarious farting story where sometimes his love of tooting does more harm than good. But maybe there is a clever way that he can use it to his advantage? Why Choose My Dad Loves to Toot? Bonding Experience Reading together is one of the best ways for dads and their kids to build stronger bonds and share special moments Professional Illustrations Fully colored custom illustrations that immerse you in the story by bringing every character and scene to life. Great Gift Idea: When it comes to an easy and quick, yet creative gift idea for Dad or the kids, there is no matching a story book that they can experience together. Need More Reasons? ✅ Premium gloss cover with fully colored interior pages. ✅ Ideal for all ages that like silly farting humor - nothing overly gross. ✅ Age-appropriate illustrations - to be enjoyed by both adults and young children. ✅ Hilarious farting situations that are sure to have the kids (and adults!) giggling with laughter. So What Are You Waiting For? Click "Add To Cart" NOW & Get This New Release In Time For Father's Day!

Like a hard hitting investigative reporter, I asked the tough questions and got down to the truth! Grown men throughout the world regularly poop their pants. Here are their stories.