Reader S Digest Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

Where does a king keep his armies?... ...In his sleevies! Do you have a budding comedian on your hands? Loaded with Knock Knock jokes, riddles, one-liners, tongue twisters and puns, Fun Jokes for Funny Kids will give them hours of new material that will keep kids ages 6-12 rolling in laughter. Knock Knock jokes, riddles, tongue twisters and puns guaranteed to make your kids (and you) laugh out loud. Also includes illustrations and cartoons for extra giggles. Knock Knock. ...Who's there? Boo hoo! ...Boo hoo who? Aww, don't cry--it's just a joke! Knock Knock. ...Who's there? Olive. ...Olive who? Olive you and I don't care who knows it! What do you call an old snowman? ...Water! Which dinosaur knew the most words? ...The thesaurus! What do you call a fish with no eyes? ...fsh! What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! How do turtles talk to each other? By using shell phones! Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed! Why did the spider go to the computer? To check his web site. Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.

A hilarious collection of the funniest family-friendly jokes, quotes, stories, cartoons, and anecdotes from the past 100 years of Reader’s Digest magazine. A little chuckle every day will keep the doctor away. Editors have mined the Reader’s Digest archives to bring you Laughter Is the Best Medicine, All-Time Favorites, a collection of the most hilarious jokes and anecdotes we’ve come across over the years. As you turn the pages of our newest collection, you’ll realize once again that laughter is always the best medicine. If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands? –Milton Berle The game card said: “Name three wars.” My teenage daughter’s response: “Civil War, Revolutionary War, and Star Wars.” Keep your temper. Nobody wants it. –Dearborn Independent Check out this billion-dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, “I’m just cooking!” Anthropologists have discovered a 50-million-year-old human skull with three perfectly preserved teeth intact. They're not sure, but they think it may be the remains of the very first hockey player. –Jay Leno This collection of laugh-out-loud, clean jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life—drawn from Reader’s Digest magazine’s most popular humor columns—is sure to tickle the funny bone. Packed with cartoons, quotes, quips, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction.

Loaded with knock knock jokes, riddles, one liners, tongue twisters and puns, Fun Jokes for Funny Kids Vol. 3 will give kids hours of new material. They will keep their friends and family rolling in laughter. Perfect for kids 6-12. Knock knock jokes, riddles, tongue twisters, one liners and puns gauranteed to make your kids -and you- laugh out loud. Icon's for Alexa's Favorites denote her hand picked, favorite jokes. Alexa, a real life 4th grader from new York who loves telling jokes, is our resident guest editor!

Why aren't dogs good dancers?... ...They have two left feet! Do you have a budding comedian on your hands? Loaded with Knock Knock jokes, riddles, one-liners, tongue twisters and puns, Fun Jokes for Funny Kids Vol. 2 will give them hours of new material that will keep kids ages 6-12 rolling in laughter. Knock Knock jokes, riddles, tongue twisters, one-liners and puns guaranteed to make your kids (and you) laugh out loud. Plus--Icon for Alexa's Favorites. Alexa is a 2nd grader from New York who loves telling jokes. She has hand-picked her favorites from each chapter. Knock Knock. ...Who's there? Dozen. ...Dozen who? Dozen anyone want to let me in? Knock Knock. ...Who's there? Pecan. ...Pecan who? Pecan someone you're own size! Why don't mummies take time off? ...They are afraid to unwind! Did you hear about the crook that stole a calendar? ...He got 12 months! What would bears be without bees? ...Ears! What travels all over the world but stays in one corner? A Stamp! How do turtles talk to each other? By using shell phones! Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them! Why did the spider go to the computer? To check his web site. Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.

Over 500 giggles, groans, and belly laughs! Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers, all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You’ll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side. . . . and many more!

In the Reader's Digest Funny Family Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 9 to 99. "Knock! Knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin the neighborhood and thought I'd come over." Reader's Digest has a long tradition of providing our readers with laughter through our many humor features. In the Reader's Digest Funny Family Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 9 to 99. We hope you and your family will take the time to read, share and laugh together. Did you hear that NASA has launched several cows into orbit? It was the herd shot around the world.

More than 1,000 of the funniest, laugh-out-loud jokes, quips, quotes, anecdotes, and cartoons from Reader’s digest magazine—guaranteed to put laughter in your day. This collection of laugh-out-loud, clean jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life—drawn from Reader’s Digest magazine’s most popular humor columns—is sure to tickle the funny bone. Packed with more than 1,000 jokes, anecdotes, funny things kids say, cartoons, quotes, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction. “If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands? – Milton Berle The game card said: “Name three wars.” My teenage daughter’s response: “Civil War, Revolutionary War, and Star Wars.” Why do Pilgrims’ pants fall down? Because their belts are on their hats! Check out this billion-dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, “I’m just cooking!” Overheard in an office: Supervisor to team leader: "So our people aren’t astute enough to understand these comments on the document?" Leader: "What does astute mean?"

If laughter is the best medicine, then look no further to cure whatever ails you. The column “Offbase,” formally known as “Humor in Uniform,” has appeared in the Reader's Digest magazine for over half a century, and has published more than 3,500 jokes, quotes, and funny stories from the more than a million readers who have submitted them. This volume—from the world’s #1 source of humor—contains laugh-out-loud gems from one of Reader’s Digest’s most popular columns. This side-splitting collection of humor delivers hundreds of the best jokes, anecdotes, cartoons, quotes, and stories from men and women in the armed forces or their families proving that life is often funnier than fiction. Such as: · From a Family Member: My son regaled me with stories about how they do things in the modern Air Force. Being an old Air Force man myself, I scoffed at their complicated methods. “That’s not the way we did it when I was in the service,” I said. “Yeah,” he shot back. “But when you were in, there were only two pilots, Wilbur and Orville” — Ted Shirley · From an Army Soldier: Our Army Unit was overseas conducting maneuvers with the Marines. On shift one night, a Marine asked my sergeant where he was from. “I’m originally from Central America,” said the sergeant. “Oh, yeah?” asked the Marine. “Kansas?” — David Denbek · From Iraq: At the end of a tough day in Iraq, my daughter, the airman, collapsed onto the first seat in the transport truck, forcing everyone else to climb over her. “Private!” hollered the sergeant, “Skinny girls get in the back so when we men get on with our weapons and equipment, we don’t have to climb over you. Have I made myself clear?” Suddenly my daughter perked up, “Do you really think I’m skinny?” — Margaret Culbertson · About the Military: A soldier stationed at Fort Bliss, Texas, actually got a letter addressed to “Fort Ignorance.” “How did you know where to deliver it?” she asked the mailman. “We were stumped at first,” he admitted. “But then I remembered, ignorance is bliss.” — William De Graf For yourself, a friend, or family member—what could be better than the gift of laughter?