Restoring Relationships With Your Adult Children

The key to creating closer, more meaningful relationships with grown children, writes O'Connor, is learning to relate to grown children in a new way that is more sensitive than assertive, more spiritual than custodial, more nurturing than managing. Offering parents a second chance, this book presents five steps to healing that will help those who feel guilty, angry, or confused about their relationships with their adult children.

Broken relationships between adult children and their parents is a widespread phenomenon. While the parent-child attachment relationship is of critical importance for the child in the early years of life, the parent-child relationship continues to be a source of great importance over the course of the individual’s life span for both the child and the parent. For adults and adult children who are estranged/alienated from each other, the pain and dissatisfaction never fully go away. Despite the prevalence of the problem of ruptured relationships, there are few resources available for mental health professionals working with this population. This book provides a tool for clinicians to turn to when they are working with adult children and their parents seeking to resolve conflict, improve communication, and enhance their relationships.

Restoring Broken Relationships with Teenage and Adult Children It’s Not Too Late identifies the most common reason for broken parent/child relationships and brings gospel hope and direction to weary, bewildered parents. There is more than one explanation for broken relationships between parents and children. Sometimes the most diligent and careful parenting cannot curb the rebellious bent of a child’s heart. But the most common reason for broken relationships between parents and children may surprise you. It’s Not Too Late uses the principles from the Scriptures to identify possible reasons for relationship meltdown, to suggest necessary spiritual preparation for reconciliation, and to model practical biblical dialog for approaching teens and adult children.

A guide for parents whose adult children have cut off contact that reveals the hidden logic of estrangement, explores its cultural causes, and offers practical advice for parents trying to reestablish contact with their adult children. “Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike.”—Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied. As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a historically recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and eventually reconciled, Dr. Joshua Coleman is uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions. He helps to alleviate the ongoing feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, and sorrow that commonly attend these dynamics. By placing estrangement into a cultural context, Dr. Coleman helps parents better understand the mindset of their adult children and teaches them how to implement the strategies for reconciliation and healing that he has seen work in his forty years of practice. Rules of Estrangement gives parents the language and the emotional tools to engage in meaningful conversation with their child, the framework to cultivate a healthy relationship moving forward, and the ability to move on if reconciliation is no longer possible. While estrangement is a complex and tender topic, Dr. Coleman's insightful approach is based on empathy and understanding for both the parent and the adult child.

“An amazing resource for anyone who desires to deepen their mother-daughter relationship in a biblical, healthy, and healed way.” —Lysa TerKeurst, New York Times bestselling author and president of Proverbs 31 Ministries You can be restored even when your relationship is frayed Ever wonder why mothers and daughters can be so different and even seem to speak different languages? Mended gives you conversation starters to speak life into your relationship with your mother or daughter. Discover powerful words that usher in healing for wounded hearts and rebuild, restore, and reconcile your connection. Set new patterns going forward as you… find common ground and put your relationship ahead of your differences learn what to say when you don’t know what to say grow closer when you do hard things together If you have a difficult history with your mother or daughter, you don’t have to continue patterns of brokenness. No matter how worn you feel, you don’t have to become unthreaded. God wants to mend your heart to His and to hers.

Parents whose adult children have cut off contact wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? What happened to my loving child? Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of grandchildren may pass in silence. Anguish may turn into anger. While time, in and of itself, does not necessarily heal, actions do, and while every estrangement includes situation-specific variables, there are practical, effective, and universal techniques for understanding and healing these not-uncommon breaches. Psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson has developed these techniques and tools over years of face-to-face and online work with parents, who have found her strategies transformative and even life-changing. Gilbertson cuts through the blame, shame, and guilt on both sides of the broken relationship. Parents will feel heard and understood but also challenged — and guided — to reclaim their role as"tone setter" and grow psychologically. Exercises, examples, and sample scripts empower parents who have felt powerless. Gilbertson shows that reconciliation is a step-by-step process, but the effort is well worth it. It is never too late to renew relations and experience better-than-ever bonds.

As parents of adult children, we often worry about whether our children will make good choices when they're on their own. Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children provides you with biblically based prayers and encouraging stories to guide you as you pray for your adult children through anything they face. Parent and author Jodie Berndt understands what it's like to release children into the world and still care deeply about them and everything they're up against in life. In Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children, Jodie shares prayers designed with your adult children in mind, whether they're just leaving the nest, flying well on their own, or struggling to take off at all. Jodie shares advice on navigating all aspects of adulthood with encouraging stories from experienced parents who are praying their children through real-life issues like leaving the church, struggling with health concerns, navigating broken marriages, fighting addiction, dealing with financial problems, and more. In Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children, Jodie addresses some of the most difficult questions that confront parents: How can I support my children when they make decisions I disagree with? Is it too late to start praying for my children? What does the Bible teach us about praying for our children? With the grace and wisdom of someone who's been there, Jodie shares the tools and encouragement you need to find the strength to keep praying, even as you doubt yourself and grieve over your children's choices. Whatever you're praying for, Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children will help you find confidence and peace taken straight from Scripture, guiding you to the bedrock of God's promises as you release your children to God's shepherding care.

Finally…Hope for Parents in Pain What parent doesn’t want their children to grow up to be happy, responsible adults? Yet despite parents’ best efforts, most heartfelt prayers, and most loving environments, some kids never successfully make the transition to independently functioning adulthood. Following her own journey, Allison Bottke developed a tough-love approach to parenting adult children that helps both you and your child by focusing on setting you free from the repeated pain of your adult child’s broken promises, lies, and deception. Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children offers practical hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.—a six–step program to help parents regain control in their homes and their lives. S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money A = Assemble a Support Group N = Nip Excuses in the Bud I = Implement Rules/Boundaries T = Trust Your Instincts Y = Yield Everything to God As you love your child with arms and heart wide open, know that no matter what happens you are never alone. God is in control and will be with you.