Rock Bottom Girl

From the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of Things We Never Got Over "You may be faking the relationship, but you're not faking the orgasms." Downsized, broke, and dumped, 38-year-old Marley sneaks home to her childhood bedroom in the town she couldn't wait to escape twenty years ago. Not much has changed in Culpepper. The cool kids are still cool. Now they just own car dealerships and live in McMansions next door. Oh, and the whole town is still talking about that Homecoming she ruined her senior year. Desperate for a new start, Marley accepts a temporary teaching position. Can the girl banned from all future Culpepper High Homecomings keep the losing-est girls soccer team in school history from killing each other and prevent carpal tunnel in a bunch of phone-clutching gym class students? Maybe with the help of Jake Weston, high school bad boy turned sexy good guy. When the school rumor mill sends Marley to the principal's office to sign an ethics contract, the tattooed track coach, dog dad, and teacher of the year becomes her new fake boyfriend and alibi--for a price. The Deal: He'll teach her how to coach if she teaches him how to be in a relationship. Who knew a fake boyfriend could deliver such real orgasms? But it's all temporary. The guy. The job. The team. There's too much history. Rock bottom can't turn into a foundation for happily ever after. Can it? Warning: Story also includes a meet-puke, a bouffanted nemesis, a yard swan and donkey basketball, a teenage-orchestrated makeover, and a fake relationship that gets a little too real between the sheets.

Named one of Us Weekly’s Best Celebrity Memoirs of 2022 The New York Times bestselling author of Next Level Basic and fan-favorite alumna of Bravo’s Vanderpump Rules returns with the definitive Basic Bitch handbook for surviving your rock-bottom moments. The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong. Through stories, confessions, illustrations, and plenty of self-reflection and self-deprecation, this new book goes behind the scenes and addresses the experience of getting cancelled, getting that positive pregnancy test, and saying “I do” in the backyard instead of in Italy. Stassi won’t hold back about her transformation from proud basic bitch to... proud basic bitch who has a deeper appreciation for what’s really important in life: love, relationships, mutual respect, and, okay fine, an Aperol spritz and some showtunes when you need them most. Stassi hopes her story will help others see the light at the end of the tunnel in their own lives and make them laugh along the way. She writes about the importance of having a good cry (at work, in the shower, in your closet), ways to navigate social media responsibly (sometimes that means logging the eff off when crowds are chanting, “OFF WITH HER HEAD”), how to practice self-care when wine is not an option, and how not to become a Bridezilla—plus she’ll offer tips on marrying your f*ckboy, embracing pregnancy sweats (both cashmere sweats and night sweats), and styling baby OOTDs. So roll up your bedazzled sleeves…or the sleeves of the tattered robe you’ve been wearing nonstop because you’re at rock bottom; grab a cocktail; and let your favorite (more evolved) basic bitch take you on a wild ride inside the bumpiest year of her life.

Once, the Blood Orphans had it all: a million-dollar recording contract from Warner Brothers, killer hooks, and cheekbones that could cut glass. Four pretty boys from Los Angeles, they were supposed to be the next big thing, future kings of rock and roll. But something happened on the way to glory, and now, two years later, along with their coke-fueled, mohawked female manager, they have washed up in Amsterdam for the final show of their doomed and dismal European tour. The singer has become a born-again Buddhist who preaches from the stage, the bass player's raging eczema has turned his hands into a pulpy mess, the drummer is a sex-fiend tormented by the misdeeds of his porn-king father, and the guitar player -- the only talented one -- is thoroughly cowed by the constant abuse of his bandmates. As they stumble through their final day together, the Blood Orphans find themselves on a comic tour of frustration, danger, excitement, and just possibly, redemption.

When Michael Cooley returned to his childhood home in St. Louis, many of his old friends offered him this greeting: 'Cooley, I thought you were dead.' And by many accounts, he should have been dead. Michael Cooley was a member of two dysfunctional families. His mother in St. Louis was an alcoholic. His stepmother and stepbrothers in Gainesville, Texas, abused him relentlessly—both physically and verbally. As a child, Mike bounced from school to school and from city to city. As a teenager, he turned to gangs and drugs for a sense of acceptance. Eventually, he ended up homeless, sleeping on rooftops and in alleys, and living out of his car. But after living as an abused child, a homeless and drug-addicted teenager, and a completely lost young adult, Mike decided to start over as a different person. Rock Bottom—From the Streets to Success tells Mike's story from his childhood in the 1960s until today. Mike escapes the darkness of his past and eventually puts his life back together to become a success in business and in his personal life. Follow Mike as he overcomes the hardships of his childhood and shares his experiences in hopes of helping others who may be facing their own challenges.

The dark moments of rock history fascinate and tantalize like the pathos of Greek tragedy. The bottom sinks lower, the air seems colder, the bad endings--when they are bad--seem beyond bad. The unlucky practitioners of our most thriving form of communal experience seem to hit rock bottom in ways only the most glamorous among us can--publicly. The stories remain obscure, half-seen in the shadowlands. In her familiar style, Pamela Des Barres shines light on the people whose art remains the background music to our popular culture. Des Barres asks, "What comes first, the addiction or the rock and roll?" The first apparent rock-and-roll death occured on Christmas Eve in 1959, when Johnny Ace blew his head off in a game of Russian Roulette between shows. Buddy Holly's four-seater plane crashes. Marvin Gaye's father shoots his son. Kurt Cobain puts a gun to his head. The headlines tell it all: ROCK SINGER FACES MANSLAUGHTER CHARGE, JAMES BROWN ADDICTED TO PCP, BASSIST FOR BAND HOLE FOUND DEAD. The messed-up lives, the burned-out golden boys and girls, the violence, the route toward rock bottom--Des Barres has a line on the souls of the public figures who lived desperate private lives to entertain us all.

Sara liked to drink. Sara was a writer, and drinking seemed to be an element of the identity. As a writer, she searched for the story that would define who she was, and her drinking was a part of her. She drank socially at first, with friends or family, at parties, or festivals. She drank at home sometimes, a glass of wine or two. It was when the two glasses of wine turned into two bottles of wine, when her blacked-out drunken behavior began destroying her marriage, when she began combining her drinking with pills - prescribed or otherwise - this is when Sara began to realize she had a problem. It wasn't until she hit her last rock bottom that she understood her story. If she were to continue drinking, her marriage would be over. She knew she had to quit. So she did. Sara quickly learned that sobriety wasn't easy. She had never realized before what a focal point alcohol had been in her life. This new world she was in felt strange and unnatural. Sometimes the daily battle felt impossible. But inside the struggle she found words. One day, she threw on her husband's oversized Nike sweatshirt, drove her daughter to school, and came home to write. The words just poured out of her. Now she had a story. Despite the struggles she faced and still faces, Sara has remained sober. This is her story.

He is the monarch of Manhattan. She is a political princess. This is enemies-to-lovers romance at its most ruthless. They say New York City is the Devil’s Playground. They’re wrong. This city belongs to me. And so does Aislinn Granville. She is a pampered politician’s daughter. A decorative ornament, raised to smile and nod and do what she’s told. Except… she doesn’t. Not with me. Ever. In this city full of thugs and thieves, I’ve kept Aislinn safe. From my enemies. From me. Until now.