Saying Kaddish

From beloved New York Times bestselling author and award-winning journalist—the definitive guide to Judaism’s end-of-life rituals, revised and updated for Jews of all backgrounds and beliefs. From caring for the dying to honoring the dead, Anita Diamant explains the Jewish practices that make mourning a loved one an opportunity to experience the full range of emotions—grief, anger, fear, guilt, relief—and take comfort in the idea that the memory of the deceased is bound up in our lives and actions. In Saying Kaddish you will find suggestions for conducting a funeral and for observing the shiva week, the shloshim month, the year of Kaddish, the annual yahrzeit, and the Yizkor service. There are also chapters on coping with particular losses—such as the death of a child and suicide—and on children as mourners, mourning non-Jewish loved ones, and the bereavement that accompanies miscarriage. Diamant also offers advice on how to apply traditional views of the sacredness of life to hospice and palliative care. Reflecting the ways that ancient rituals and customs have been adapted in light of contemporary wisdom and needs, she includes updated sections on taharah (preparation of the body for burial) and on using ritual immersion in a mikveh to mark the stages of bereavement. And, celebrating a Judaism that has become inclusive and welcoming. Diamant highlights rituals, prayers, and customs that will be meaningful to Jews-by-choice, Jews of color, and LGBTQ Jews. Concluding chapters discuss Jewish perspectives on writing a will, creating healthcare directives, making final arrangements, and composing an ethical will.

A National Jewish Book Award-winning autobiography that's "an astonishing fusion of learning and psychic intensity; its poignance and lucidity should be an authentic benefit to readers, Jewish and gentile" (The New York Times Book Review). Children have obligations to their parents: the Talmud says "one must honor him in life and one must honor him in death." Beside his father’s grave, a diligent but doubting son begins the mourner’s kaddish and realizes he needs to know more about the prayer issuing from his lips. So begins Leon Wieseltier’s National Jewish Book Award–winning autobiography, Kaddish, the spiritual journal of a man commanded by Jewish law to recite a prayer three times daily for a year and driven, by ardor of inquiry, to explore its origins. Here is one man’s urgent exploration of Jewish liturgy and law, from the 10th-century legend of a wayward ghost to the speculations of medieval scholars on the grief of God to the perplexities of a modern rabbi in the Kovno ghetto. Here too is a mourner’s unmannered response to the questions of fate, freedom, and faith stirred in death’s wake. Lyric, learned, and deeply moving, Wieseltier’s Kaddish is a narrative suffused with love: a son’s embracing the tradition bequeathed to him by his father, a scholar’s savoring they beauty he was taught to uncover, and a writer’s revealing it, proudly, unadorned, to the reader.

When his father dies, it falls to Larry—the secular son in a family of Orthodox Brooklyn Jews—to recite the Kaddish, the Jewish prayer for the dead, every day for eleven months. But to the horror and dismay of his sister, Larry refuses, imperiling the fate of his father’s soul. To appease her, he hires a stranger through a website called kaddish.com to say the prayer instead—a decision that will have profound, and very personal, repercussions. Irreverent, hilarious, and wholly irresistible, Nathan Englander’s tale of a son who makes a diabolical compromise brilliantly captures the tensions between tradition and modernity.

For centuries, Jews have turned to the Mourner’s Kaddish prayer upon experiencing a loss. This groundbreaking book explores what the recitation of Kaddish has meant specifically to women. Did they find the consolation, closure, and community they were seeking? How did saying Kaddish affect their relationships with God, with prayer, with the deceased, and with the living? With courage and generosity, 52 authors from around the world reflect upon their experiences of mourning. They share their relationships with the family members they lost and what it meant to move on; how they struggled to balance the competing demands of child rearing, work, and grief; what they learned about tradition and themselves; and the disappointments and particular challenges they confronted as women. The collection shares viewpoints from diverse perspectives and backgrounds and examines what it means to heal from loss and to honor memory in family relationships, both loving and fraught with pain. It is a precious record of women searching for their place within Jewish tradition and exploring the connections that make human life worthwhile.

Jewish tradition encourages study as a way of honoring the memory of those who are no longer among us. Grief in Our Seasons offers a comforting link between study and the tradition of saying Kaddish, helping those who are mourning to heal at their own pace and to cherish the memory of their loved ones each and every day. Each section of Grief in Our Seasons is devoted to a stage of mourning, providing daily readings from sacred Jewish texts and words of inspiration, comfort, and understanding. “Meditations Before Saying Kaddish” share the insights of others who have faced the challenges of mourning, and tell how they found solace during the process.

When Allen Ginsberg famously began his idiosyncratic eulogy of his mother by asking the reader to imagine him “up all night, talking, talking, talking, reading the Kaddish aloud, listening to Ray Charles,” he did not pause to explain what exactly this thing called Kaddish was or why he would have been reading it aloud in his mother’s memory. Nor did he need to: there is no Jewish prayer better known to the non-Jewish world than Kaddish, and the concept of saying Kaddish “for” someone has entered the American lexicon of cultural phrases known to all and used freely without the need to translate or explain. Neither Imre Kertesz’s Kaddish for an Unborn Child nor Leon Wieseltier’s 1998 bestseller Kaddish provides a translation or explanation on the dustjacket, for example, the assumption being that anyone cultured enough to want to read either book—and surely not only Jewish readers—would know what the word means and what its use as the title implies about the book’s content. Nor did Leonard Bernstein seem to feel the need for any explanation when he named his third symphony “Kaddish,” and left it at that.

Who Will Say Kaddish? is an exploration of the fragile resurgence of Jewish life and identity in post-Communist Poland. By the eve of the Holocaust, Poland was home to the second largest Jewish population in the world. By war's end, its Jews had been exterminated and their once-vibrant culture all but destroyed. In this book Larry Mayer and Gary Gelb, themselves descendants of Polish Jews, explore reports that Jewish life is being rekindled in modern Poland. What they discover are three generations of Jews-Holocaust survivors and their children and grandchildren-with differing historical perspectives. As survivors' descendants learn of their hidden Jewish heritage through deathbed revelations, a compelling drama about personal identity unfolds. Mayer and Gelb chronicle a new chapter in the life of Poland's Jewish community as the present generation seeks to celebrate its members' recent freedom and to honor the rich traditions of their forebears. Through interviews, photography, reportage, and personal memoir Who Will Say Kaddish? creates a sociocultural portrait of the multilayered community of renewed Jewish life and tradition in Poland that has emerged since the fall of the Communist regime in 1989.