Scary Mommy S Guide To Surviving The Holidays

From New York Times bestselling author and acclaimed “Scary Mommy” blogger Jill Smokler comes a funny and practical guide filled with essays, recipes, and tried-and-true tips sure to get any parent through the holiday season—without losing your marbles. Ah, the holidays: a time of joy, celebration, serenity, and peace… Unless, of course, you have whiny, screaming children demanding presents, attention, and a personal appearance by Santa or Judah the Maccabee. Then you’re screwed. But wait, there’s hope: Scary Mommy Guide to Surviving the Holidays to the rescue! Yes, in this handy holiday guide, you’ll find everything you need to survive the fall/winter rush of cheer in style, and without having a mental breakdown. From relatable, hilarious essays on everything from the Santa myth to being seated at the dreaded kids’ table, to easy-to-follow recipes that might include just a little something special to take the edge off (can anyone say Kahlua?), to fun and accessible gift ideas, this book is your ticket to peace of mind—and a laugh—during the busy, crazy holiday season!

ONE OF PUBLISHERS WEEKLY'S TEN MOST ANTICIPATED MEMOIRS OF THE SEASON IF YOU THINK IT SUCKS TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS WHEN YOU’RE THIRTY-SIX AND NINE MONTHS PREGNANT, JUST WAIT TILL THE DEA COMES KNOCKING (WITH THE IRS IN TOW): WELCOME TO VICTORIA FEDDEN’S LIFE. When a squad of federal agents burst through her parents’ front door, Victoria Fedden felt ill-prepared to meet them: She was weeks away from her due date and her T-shirt wasn’t long enough to hide her maternity undies. As for the question of how to raise a child when you’ve just discovered that your mother and stepfather have allegedly masterminded a pump-and-dump scheme? She was pretty sure that wasn’t covered in What to Expect When You’re Expecting—and she really hoped that Bradford Cohen, the noted criminal defense attorney who famously waived his exemption on The Apprentice, would prove them innocent. This Is Not My Beautiful Life is the story of how Victoria lost her parents to prison and nearly lost her mind. No one ever said motherhood would be easy, but as she struggles to change diapers, install car seats, and find the right drop-off line at pre-school—no easy task, when each one is named for a stage in the lifecycle of a f*cking butterfly—she’s also forced to ask herself whether a jump-suit might actually complement her mom’s platinum-blonde extensions and fend off the cast of shady, stranger-than-fiction characters (like the recovering addict who scored a reality show when he started an escort service for women) who populated her parents’ world. A real-life Arrested Development that could only unfold in southern Florida, This Is Not My Beautiful Life is a hilariously funny and unexpectedly moving memoir of a just-functional family you’ll never forget.

A hilarious guide to surviving the holiday season presents a selection of true holiday horror stories, helpful hints, recipes, crafts, and gift suggestions as it provides advice on how to deal with the "truth" about Santa, how to merge different holiday traditions, how to cope with holiday stress and difficult holiday guests, and more.

In 'Megan Goes on Holiday', the family goes on holiday abroad, taking Megan for the first time. She becomes besotted with the place. On her return home, she makes a bit of a fool of herself by pretending to be what she is not and showing off. However, her mother and a few others bring her back to reality, and Wacinhinsha gives her an explanation for her recent infatuation with her holiday destination. Megan is a 13-year-old teenage girl, who realises that she has psychic powers that others do not have. At first, she tried to talk to her mother about them, but with disastrous consequences, so she learned to keep quiet about them. However, some people do offer to help and an animal showed a special friendship, but they were not 'alive' in the normal sense of the word. They had passed on. Megan has three such friends: Wacinhinsha, her Spirit Guide, who had been Sioux in his last life on Earth; her maternal grandfather, Gramps and a huge Siberian tiger called Grrr. Wacinhinsha is extremely knowledgeable in all things spiritual, psychic and paranormal; her grandfather is a novice 'dead person' and Grrr can only speak Tiger, as one might imagine and most of that, of course is unintelligible to humans. In 'Megan Goes on Holiday', the family goes on holiday abroad, taking Megan for the first time. She becomes besotted with the place. On her return home, she makes a bit of a fool of herself by pretending to be what she is not and showing off. However, her mother and a few others bring her back to reality, and Wacinhinsha gives her an explanation for her recent infatuation with her holiday destination. Translator: Owen Jones PUBLISHER: TEKTIME

Being a mom can be challenging, rewarding, and incredibly frustrating! But with the hardworking advice in Redbook Mom’s Survival Guide, every mom’s life can be made a little easier. Time-tested tips from real moms as well as plenty of advice from the experts cover topics both serious and light-hearted. Everything from catching your child in a lie and stopping the dreaded tantrum to taking the perfect holiday photo and preparing for back-to-school madness is written in the engaging mom-to-mom voice that has been so popular in the magazine.

The hilarious holiday handbook for those who are starting to see Scrooge's point of view. Let's face it-sometimes the joys of Christmas are enough to make us want to run away from home-with all of the eggnog, of course. But with a little wry humor, Ann Hodgman is here to tackle Christmas stress and bring cheer back into the holiday. Delving into such diverse topics as making Christmas for kids and adults, how many traditions are just too many, and much more, I Saw Mommy Kicking Santa Claus is full of helpful advice, recipes, and true holiday horror stories to let you know you're not alone.

Chosen by the Independent as one of the 10 best business books written by women 'Vicki is one inspirational mumboss, who shares her secrets to juggling a thriving business with raising a family in this entertaining and empowering read!' Una Healy 'Ideal for going back to work without losing your mind . . . a no-nonsense guide to navigating the transition' Marie Claire 'If ever there is a person who has shown just how successful you can be online whilst also being an amazing parent it is Vicki. Read, learn and follow. A brilliant book from an inspirational mother'. Natasha Courtenay-Smith, author of The Million Dollar Blog In The Working Mom, Vicki Psarias, founder of HonestMum.com, shares her manifesto for surviving and thriving at work and at home. Vicki writes about everything from juggling work and family, to regaining your confidence after having a baby and battling imposter syndrome. An award-winning blogger and vlogger, in this book Vicki shares how to turn your passions into a business that suits the modern mum's lifestyle. The Working Mom is full of practical advice, tips and tricks to help fellow #mumbosses build their own business or return to work, while creating a personal brand and learning how to market yourself. Vicki's funny, fresh approach to life and work as a mum has brought her a loyal fanbase and a brilliantly successful business: her blog Honest Mum is one of the UK's most popular parenting and lifestyle sites, and the blog combined with Vicki's social channels has an average monthly reach of 1 million. A Lean In for the blogging and vlogging generation, The Working Mom is an essential book for all parents, whether they are returning to work or looking to start a new career, as well as anyone looking to build their brand or business online. 'A must-read for the modern Mum; particularly one who has aspirations to build her own business. I wish I had been able to read it three years ago!' Katie Massie-Taylor, Co-Founder, Mush

Some men are single by choice; others end up single through little to no choice of their own. Many of these divorced men and widowers find themselves overwhelmed by the multitude of new tasks at hand, from doing laundry to raising children on their own. Jeff Bruner lost his wife of 25 years suddenly to cancer, and soon found himself spending most of the day paying bills or hours wandering around the grocery store, not even knowing what he needed. Through trial and error, he learned how to perform the many tasks that his wife had done for years, and he has written this extremely helpful guide for "freshly single" men that covers everything from cooking to cleaning to combing cat fur. The Freshly Single Man's Guide to Household Survival might become the new Bible for the millions of suddenly single Sams in our society.