Successful Marriages And Families

A simple, easy-to-read discussion by a social scientist about how core religious elements such as faith and hope, love and grace, parenthood of God, and forgiveness and reconciliation can help people create happy marriages and strong families. This book inspires hope that people can create successful marriages and shows them how to do it. It contains many stories, simple illustrations, and activities. Useful for preparing for marriage, marital growth, or solving marital problems. It can help people make the small changes that can make a big difference in marital success.

When it first appeared in 1995, The Good Marriage became a best-seller. It offers timeless clues to the secret of happy, long-lasting marriages. Based on a groundbreaking study of fifty couples who consider themselves happily married, psychologist Judith Wallerstein presents the four basic types of marriage — romantic, rescue, companionate, and traditional — and identifies nine developmental tasks that must be successfully undertaken in a “good marriage” — separation from the family of origin, up-and-down vicissitudes of early years, children, balance of work and home, dealing with infidelities, and more. The men and women Wallerstein interviewed readily admit that even the best relationship requires hard work and continuing negotiation, especially in the midst of societal pressures that can tear marriages apart. But they also convey an inspirational message, for almost all of them feel that their marriage is their single greatest accomplishment. The Good Marriage explains why, and its lively mix of storytelling and analysis will challenge every couple to think in a profoundly different way about the most important relationship in their lives. “Should be required reading for all who are interested in marriage.” — W. Walter Menninger “Should prove a lifesaver for many couples.” — Publishers Weekly “Will enrich the sparse literature on happy marriages.” — USA Today “One of the nice things about The Good Marriage is its modesty. It doesn’t pretend to offer a philosophy or even a lecture on marriage. It takes no position on the ideologically charged issues of women’s marital roles and status. Equally important, it ignores the two most common ways of talking about marriage — as a contract negotiated between two equal parties and as the pathway to individual fulfillment. For this reason it is refreshingly free of ‘rights’ talk and therapy talk. Indeed, Wallerstein places much more emphasis on the development of good judgment and a moral sense than on the acquisition of effective communication or negotiation skills.” — Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, The Atlantic “A lagniappe to enduring couplehood... The strength of this study is that Ms. Wallerstein, a gifted interviewer, persuades the couples to reveal their interior lives in rich, explicit detail.” — Susan Jacoby, The New York Times Book Review “Written in a masterful style that often reads like the best popular fiction... Wallerstein and Blakeslee again combine their substantial talents... deftly and entertainingly exploring the foundations of good marriages.” — Tara Aronson, San Francisco Examiner & Chronicle “Groundbreaking.” — Boston Globe “This is a wonderfully readable and immensely valuable book, full of wise and original insights about the many, many roads to marital happiness.” — Judith Viorst “With wisdom, humor, and sympathetic understanding, Judith Wallerstein helps us recognize and rediscover the good marriage... lucid, psychologically sophisticated, and generously wise.” — David Blankenhorn, Newsday “Historically informative as well as profoundly wise psychologically.” — Joan M. Erikson “For a long time, as a Rabbi, I’ve been using The Good Marriage, by the late Judith Wallerstein... in my pre-marital counseling. She provides... amazingly helpful insights [which] open up conversations and lead couples to think much more deeply about what they are getting themselves into — and what they might need to do to keep their marriages strong.” — Rabbi Carl M. Perkins “A welcome addition to the field of literature on contemporary marriage... The style [is] clear, concise, sensitive and, occasionally, personal. Her personal additions... add warmth, emotional consciousness, and greater insight into what makes individuals and couples happy in their relationships. This book has value for the many audiences interested in relational theory that want to approach relationships from a realistic and positive perspective.” — Nancy Williford, Clinical Social Work Journal “In The Good Marriage, Wallerstein’s new study of 50 married couples offers affirmation that the process of marriage itself presents a vehicle for transformation... A best-selling author, Wallerstein employs a thoughtful, nonaggressive style that appeals to the general public. Wallerstein has performed an invaluable service in The Good Marriage.” — Elizabeth M. Tully, M.D., Journal of Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry “Solid... impressive... Those interested in social policy should be pleased that so well-respected a liberal academic as Ms. Wallerstein has written a book that celebrates marriage and points the way toward restructuring it.” — Wall Street Journal “With extraordinary skill and compassion Wallerstein and Blakeslee take us inside the lives of fifty American couples and find that a good marriage still provides the best framework for enduring love and intimacy.” — Sylvia Ann Hewlett “A very appealing book... clearly written and clearly thought out.” — Library Journal “Wallerstein’s major contribution is not about how and why love lasts, but about how and why love develops. It is in such a context, less idyllic, but more realistic, that the book will prove to be a lasting contribution.” — Readings: A Journal of Reviews and Commentary in Mental Health

For anyone who wants to make a new marriage work or an old marriage stronger, here is inspiration and insight that no marriage counselor or psychologist could give you. In the wake of open marriage, marriage contracts, and no-fault divorce, the authors of this remarkable book have uncovered what it is that can make a marriage last a lifetime in these tumultuous times. Turning to the real experts (couples whose marriages have withstood the test of time), they have found that for all the striking dissimilarities in successful marriages, at the core of each is a real and definable commitment by the partners to each other and to the marriage. In the course of their research the authors have sat in hundreds of kitchens and living rooms listening to husbands and wives talk about how they have forged their relationships. The marriages range from two-paycheck, childless relationships to male-dominated families with a wife and kids at home, from affluent urban unions to marriages plagued with financial problems, from those fate has blessed to those it has been less kind to. What is highlighted again and again is the importance of putting marriage first in your life, of giving time a chance, and of believing that the good times will be renewed if a couple can get by the bad. Giving Time a Chance is a must for any couple planning to marry, for any couple thinking of divorce, for any couple wondering whether romance can be renewed, or for anyone questioning whether marriage still has a role in modern society. Here is a book for our times—a model of marriage in modern America.

Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.

“After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now...”—Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages—from the “traditional” to the utterly nontraditional—and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marriage has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try “lovehacks.” This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.