Surviving Sibling Loss The Invisible Thread That Connects Us Through Life And Death

When author Dawn DiRaimondo, PsyD, lost her brother in 2004, she found only one book on sibling loss. So, she wrote the book she wished she had then. Surviving Sibling Loss: The Invisible Thread that Connects Us Through Life and Death is the gold standard of grief books, helping not only people who are grieving but also their therapists, partners, and friends better support their loved ones. The chapters are deliberately short and full of easy-to-find resources, and the book can be read cover to cover or picked up and put down again. This structure aids those who are struggling, who fatigue and lose focus easily under the weight of their grief. Dr. DiRaimondo is a clinical psychologist whose specialties include working with clients who have experienced significant loss, including the loss of children, siblings, spouses, grandchildren, and young parents. Surviving Sibling Loss interweaves her personal and professional experience and knowledge of bereavement as well as the perspectives of fourteen individuals she interviewed who also lost siblings.

When T.J. Wray lost her 43-year-old brother, her grief was deep and enduring and, she soon discovered, not fully acknowledged. Despite the longevity of adult sibling relationships, surviving siblings are often made to feel as if their grief is somehow unwarranted. After all, when an adult sibling dies, he or she often leaves behind parents, a spouse, and even children—all of whom suffer a more socially recognized type of loss. Based on the author's own experiences, as well as those of many others, Surviving the Death of a Sibling helps adults who have lost a brother or sister to realize that they are not alone in their struggle. Just as important, it teaches them to understand the unique stages of their grieving process, offering practical and prescriptive advice for dealing with each stage. In Surviving the Death of a Sibling, T.J. Wray discusses: • Searching for and finding meaning in your sibling's passing • Using a grief journal to record your emotions • Choosing a grief partner to help you through tough times • Dealing with insensitive remarks made by others Warm and personal, and a rich source of useful insights and coping strategies, Surviving the Death of a Sibling is a unique addition to the literature of bereavement.

Offering heartfelt and simple advice, this book provides realistic suggestions and relief for an adult child whose parent has died. Practical advice is presented in a one-topic-per-page format that does not overwhelm with psychological language, but provides small, immediate ways to understand and reconcile grief. Some of the action-oriented tips include writing down memories, completing a task or goal left unfinished by your deceased parent, or honoring the parent’s birthday. In addition the common challenges that face grieving adult children, such as helping the surviving parent, resolving sibling conflicts, and legal and financial issues, are addressed clearly and concisely.

"P. Gill White, PhD, has done an outstanding job of writing on a much-needed subject within the bereavement community. As siblings sadly are often the "forgotten" grievers when the death of their brother or sister occurs, a book such as this is greatly needed. Dr. White's insights and experiences as both a bereaved sibling herself and as a sibling grief counselor are sure to be a great help to all who read her book."-Patricia L. Moser, president of Bereaved Parents of the USA "A book for professional caregivers and grieving siblings alike."-Robert B. Simmonds, Ph.D., author of Emotional Wellness Matters P. Gill White, PhD, was only fifteen when her sister Linda made her swear not to tell anyone about the pain she had in her side, fearing it would spoil an upcoming family vacation. Linda died four months later from a rare form of cancer. White and her family never talked about the loss until decades later, when memories began to haunt her. Sibling Grief is White's validation of the emotional significance of sibling loss. She draws on both clinical experience and her own deeply personal experience, along with wisdom from hundreds of bereaved siblings, to explain the five healing tasks unique to sibling grief. White also describes the dream patterns of bereaved siblings, showing how healing is reflected in the dream state. Throughout, she illustrates the long-lasting connection between siblings-a connection that death itself cannot sever.

BOOKER PRIZE WINNER • NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A novel that follows a middle-aged man as he contends with a past he never much thought about—until his closest childhood friends return with a vengeance: one of them from the grave, another maddeningly present. A novel so compelling that it begs to be read in a single setting, The Sense of an Ending has the psychological and emotional depth and sophistication of Henry James at his best, and is a stunning achievement in Julian Barnes's oeuvre. Tony Webster thought he left his past behind as he built a life for himself, and his career has provided him with a secure retirement and an amicable relationship with his ex-wife and daughter, who now has a family of her own. But when he is presented with a mysterious legacy, he is forced to revise his estimation of his own nature and place in the world.

An extremely well-written, compassionate guide for the millions of people who come face to face with a death in their own families When a brother or sister dies, surviving siblings often receive little support or recognition of their pain. But their grief is real, and there is a way to recover from it. Through intimate, true stories and interviews with brothers and sisters who have lost a sibling, expert-on-grief Katherine Fair Donnelly provides valuable insight on how to survive this traumatic experience. Recovering from the Loss of a Sibling is the first guide dedicated to those who have lost a brother or sister, and presents practical ways they can take the necessary steps toward recovering from their devastating loss.

The younger sister of a boy who died in his teens of a rare autoimmune disease describes the loving bond they shared and draws on interviews with more than two hundred sibling survivors to consider the complex emotional impact of losing a brother or sister. Reprint. 20,000 first printing.

When a loved one dies we mourn our loss. We take comfort in the rituals that mark the passing, and we turn to those around us for support. But what happens when there is no closure, when a family member or a friend who may be still alive is lost to us nonetheless? How, for example, does the mother whose soldier son is missing in action, or the family of an Alzheimer's patient who is suffering from severe dementia, deal with the uncertainty surrounding this kind of loss? In this sensitive and lucid account, Pauline Boss explains that, all too often, those confronted with such ambiguous loss fluctuate between hope and hopelessness. Suffered too long, these emotions can deaden feeling and make it impossible for people to move on with their lives. Yet the central message of this book is that they can move on. Drawing on her research and clinical experience, Boss suggests strategies that can cushion the pain and help families come to terms with their grief. Her work features the heartening narratives of those who cope with ambiguous loss and manage to leave their sadness behind, including those who have lost family members to divorce, immigration, adoption, chronic mental illness, and brain injury. With its message of hope, this eloquent book offers guidance and understanding to those struggling to regain their lives. Table of Contents: 1. Frozen Grief 2. Leaving without Goodbye 3. Goodbye without Leaving 4. Mixed Emotions 5. Ups and Downs 6. The Family Gamble 7. The Turning Point 8. Making Sense out of Ambiguity 9. The Benefit of a Doubt Notes Acknowledgments Reviews of this book: You will find yourself thinking about the issues discussed in this book long after you put it down and perhaps wishing you had extra copies for friends and family members who might benefit from knowing that their sorrows are not unique...This book's value lies in its giving a name to a force many of us will confront--sadly, more than once--and providing personal stories based on 20 years of interviews and research. --Pamela Gerhardt, Washington Post Reviews of this book: A compassionate exploration of the effects of ambiguous loss and how those experiencing it handle this most devastating of losses ... Boss's approach is to encourage families to talk together, to reach a consensus about how to mourn that which has been lost and how to celebrate that which remains. Her simple stories of families doing just that contain lessons for all. Insightful, practical, and refreshingly free of psychobabble. --Kirkus Review Reviews of this book: Engagingly written and richly rewarding, this title presents what Boss has learned from many years of treating individuals and families suffering from uncertain or incomplete loss...The obvious depth of the author's understanding of sufferers of ambiguous loss and the facility with which she communicates that understanding make this a book to be recommended. --R. R. Cornellius, Choice Reviews of this book: Written for a wide readership, the concepts of ambiguous loss take immediate form through the many provocative examples and stories Boss includes, All readers will find stories with which they will relate...Sensitive, grounded and practical, this book should, in my estimation, be required reading for family practitioners. --Ted Bowman, Family Forum Reviews of this book: Dr. Boss describes [the] all-too-common phenomenon [of unresolved grief] as resulting from either of two circumstances: when the lost person is still physically present but emotionally absent or when the lost person is physically absent but still emotionally present. In addition to senility, physical presence but psychological absence may result, for example, when a person is suffering from a serious mental disorder like schizophrenia or depression or debilitating neurological damage from an accident or severe stroke, when a person abuses drugs or alcohol, when a child is autistic or when a spouse is a workaholic who is not really 'there' even when he or she is at home...Cases of physical absence with continuing psychological presence typically occur when a soldier is missing in action, when a child disappears and is not found, when a former lover or spouse is still very much missed, when a child 'loses' a parent to divorce or when people are separated from their loved ones by immigration...Professionals familiar with Dr. Boss's work emphasised that people suffering from ambiguous loss were not mentally ill, but were just stuck and needed help getting past the barrier or unresolved grief so that they could get on with their lives. --Asian Age Combining her talents as a compassionate family therapist and a creative researcher, Pauline Boss eloquently shows the many and complex ways that people can cope with the inevitable losses in contemporary family life. A wise book, and certain to become a classic. --Constance R. Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce A powerful and healing book. Families experiencing ambiguous loss will find strategies for seeing what aspects of their loved ones remain, and for understanding and grieving what they have lost. Pauline Boss offers us both insight and clarity. --Kathy Weingarten, Ph.D, The Family Institute of Cambridge, Harvard Medical School