The Best Joke Book Period

Discover hundreds of jokes for every occasion! Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low. The ultimate collection of the world’s greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment. So whether you’re looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

If you've ever wanted to be the life of the party but were unsure of where to start, this book will point you in the right direction! Contained within these pages are hundreds of the most hilarious jokes you'll ever read. From one-liners to enthralling sagas, this collection is genuinely The Best Joke Book Ever, and will entertain adults and children of all ages.This carefully curated collection includes new jokes, classic jokes, animals and blondes, married couples and lovers, doctors and patients, church-goers, students, lawyers, crooks and more!

Whether you re making a toast at a wedding, trying to break the ice at a party, or just want to make your boss giggle, the Ultimate Book of Jokes is the first and last resource you'll ever need. From road-crossing chickens and classic knock knock jokes to the naughty, nice, and totally soused, no subject goes unmocked in this collection of over 1,500 jokes, packaged in a deluxe embossed board cover with 2-color line art throughout. Scott McNeeley, author of Ultimate Book of Card Games, mined decades worth of jokes to find chuckle-inducing punch lines for joke lovers of all stripes from yo mamma aficionados to naughty limerick connoisseurs.

Over 500 giggles, groans, and belly laughs! Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers, all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You’ll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side. . . . and many more!

This top-selling collection of pure fun (more than 295,000 copies sold) is back with a fresh and lively new cover to reach more readers eager to laugh. Puns, one-liners, jester-worthy jokes, and quirky quips will amaze and astound friends and family. Giggles are guaranteed as readers enjoy the crazy conversations and hilarious observations— “Daddy, the teacher was reading the Bible to us—all about the children of Israel building the temple, the children of Israel crossing the Red Sea, the children of Israel making sacrifices. Didn’t the grownups do anything?” “You’re the laziest fellow I have seen. Don’t you do anything quickly?” “Yes, I get tired fast.” “I haven’t slept for days.” “How come?” “I only sleep at night!”

This hilarious illustrated catalog contains practical jokes from offices, hospitals, colleges, parties, schools, and weddings . . . for in-laws, bosses, scheming colleagues, rude neighbors, and ex-lovers. Plus, much more! Containing pranks and stunts for every occasion and classics from the pantheon of pranksters, The Complete Book of Outrageous and Atrocious Practical Jokes will show how to write the memo that will have scheming colleagues hiding under their desks while you squeal with laughter; how your stereo system can be adapted inventively to deal with noisy neighbors, professors, and roommates; how to take the air out of assorted stuffed shirts at dinner parties with creative use of fishing line and insects; and how husbands and wives maintain their version of marital harmony using nail polish and the insinuation of shoplifting.

Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.

It’s the perfect marriage of wisdom and wit—here are 100 valuable lessons on how to live, drawn from 100 hilarious and unforgettable jokes. A really good joke, like a great poem, memorable song lyric, razor-sharp anecdote, or Zen koan, is a portal of discovery—it can get a meaningful message across in a way that’s clear, humorous, and practical. It’s the secret weapon of every great comedian—there’s the joke, and then there’s the subtext of the joke, and that can mean serious business. A funny, funny joke about a therapist and his patient conveys, for example, an important lesson on the power of communication. A surprising joke about a tribal shaman and the weather service turns into a necessary critique on how we should view experts.