The Burden Of Secrets

It's the summer of 1962 in the small town of Springdale, Connecticut. Thirteen-year-old Bibi Reilly and her family welcome fun-loving Aunt Addie for a two-week vacation. When Dad loses his license for speeding and Mom breaks her leg, Addie extends her stay to help with Bibi and her twin brothers. But Bibi is confused when she witnesses her aunt's outbursts and mood swings, and she's further confused when adults depend on her to keep their secrets. Aunt Addie isn't the only neighborhood visitor that summer. Handsome and charming Stan Polansky, on a month's leave from the army, is staying just two houses away with his aunt and uncle. Behind his boyish smile and charismatic personality, Stan is hiding a secret of his own--a dangerous secret. And Bibi is about to find out what it is.

“If you’ve ever wondered why we keep secrets and what motivates us to spill them, look no further. Michael Slepian has spent the past decade studying the psychology of secrets, and is ready to reveal his findings to the world.”—Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again “The Secret Life of Secrets gracefully blends engaging stories with compelling science.”—Sonja Lyubomirsky, University of California professor and author of The How of Happiness Think of a secret that you’re keeping from others. It shouldn’t take long; behavioral scientist Michael Slepian finds that, on average, we are keeping as many as thirteen secrets at any given time. His research involving more than 50,000 participants from around the world shows that the most common secrets include lies we’ve told, ambitions, addictions, mental health challenges, hidden relationships, and financial struggles. Our secrets can weigh heavily upon us. Yet the burden of secrecy, Slepian argues, rarely stems from the work it takes to keep a secret hidden. Rather, the weight of our secrets comes from carrying them alone, without the support of others. Whether we are motivated to protect our reputation, a relationship, a loved one’s feelings, or some personal or professional goal, one thing is clear: Holding back some part of our inner world is often lonely and isolating. But The Secret Life of Secrets shows you that it doesn’t have to be. Filled with fresh insight into one of the most universal—yet least understood—aspects of human behavior, The Secret Life of Secrets sheds a fascinating new light on questions like: At what age do children develop the cognitive capacity for secrecy? Do all secrets come with the same mental load? How can we reconcile our secrets with our human desires to relate, connect, and be known? When should we confess our secrets? Who makes for the ideal confidant? And can keeping certain types of secrets actually enhance our well-being? Drawing on over a decade of original research, The Secret Life of Secrets reveals the surprising ways that secrets pervade our lives, and offers science-based strategies that make them easier to live with. The result is a rare window into the inner workings of our minds, our relationships, and our sense of who we are.

The creator of the groundbreaking Fearless Living program shows readers how to overcome unrealistic expectations and live a life based on instinct and intention rather than fear, clinging, and regret. Reprint.

From the acclaimed author of Maybe He Just Likes You and Halfway Normal comes a “compassionate…touching” (Donna Gephart, award-winning author of The Paris Project) and powerful story of learning how to grow, change, and survive. When twelve-year-old Zinnia Manning’s older brother Gabriel is diagnosed with a mental illness, the family’s world is turned upside down. Mom and Dad want Zinny, her sixteen-year-old sister, Scarlett, and her eight-year-old brother, Aiden, to keep Gabriel’s condition “private”—and to Zinny that sounds the same as “secret.” Which means she can’t talk about it with her two best friends, who don’t understand why Zinny keeps pushing them away, turning everything into a joke. It also means she can’t talk about it during Lunch Club, a group run by the school guidance counselor. How did Zinny get stuck in this weird club, anyway? She certainly doesn’t have anything in common with these kids—and even if she did, she’d never betray her family’s secret. The only good thing about school is science class, where cool teacher Ms. Molina has them doing experiments on crayfish. And when Zinny has the chance to attend a dream marine biology camp for the summer, she doesn’t know what to do. How can Zinny move forward when Gabriel—and, really, her whole family—still needs her help?

On an MTV special aired in 2000, young interviewees were asked to confess the worse thing they were ever told during a romantic breakup. One person tearfully responded "that I suck in bed. " More recently, an acquaintance of mine admitted to his new girlfriend that he "has a mean streak. " She decided not to date him after that. Another memorable and painful example of openness occurred years ago when I served as a member of a suicide intervention team. I was called to a very disturbing scene in an upscale neighborhood to console a woman who was threaten ing to take her life on the lawn in front of her children. Her husband had just confessed his long-term affair to her that morning and she felt that her world was coming apart. Fortunately, she did not take her life but was left with the humiliation of haVing her neighbors know about her private troubles. The question these examples bring to mind is, "Why do people so often reveal potentially stigmatizing personal information to others?" The reader probably has an intuitive answer to this question already. It can seem like such a burden-even torture-to keep secrets from other people. Hiding such things as feelings of discontent from a boyfriend or girlfriend, violations of the law from close friends, and indiscretions from employers can be alienating. People want others to know them; therefore they often end up disclosing self-incriminating information.

The public revelation of what were once considered extremely private matters is becoming a new social norm. Has this movement toward openness gone too far? Are there negative consequences to revealing secrets? When and why is it helpful to reveal secrets? What can be done to alleviate the burden of secrecy? Will the anguish of keeping a secret pass in time? What factors should enter into deciding to reveal a secret? This book addresses these questions.

For business investors in China, the legal handling of trade secrets is often crucial. However, initiatives are often complicated by a patchwork trade secrets protection system – pieced together haphazardly over the last two decades and drawing on disparate elements of competition law, contract law, employment law, and criminal law – that diverges in significant ways from global standards and corresponding regimes in other countries. Now at last interested parties can benefit richly from a thorough and practical approach to the subject. This detailed analysis of China’s trade secrets law provides in-depth information and guidance on such important factors as the following: the current framework of China’s trade secrets law, its past development and its ongoing trends; legal comparison of China’s trade secrets law with various international, regional, and national schemes; what constitutes trade secrets infringement in China and what remedies are available; and the legal interaction in China between employment relations and trade secrets protection. The author pays close attention to judicial practice and precedent in the areas of civil remedies, criminal punishment, and administrative penalties. She also offers insightful proposals formulated to align China’s trade secrets law more efficiently with prevailing global standards and generally improve the mechanisms for its implementation. Corporate counsel and international lawyers concerned with intellectual property rights or labour law in China will greatly appreciate the knowledgeable guidance this book affords. They will gain a deeply informed perspective that allows them to avoid infringement, to battle it effectively if occasion arises, and to plan dispute resolution strategies for contingencies involving trade secrets protection in China.

Natalie Coleman has always done whatever she needed to survive—even if it meant stealing another woman's husband or trading her favours for money. But now, with a steady job, a rekindled bond with her grandmother Big Mama and a promising new relationship, Natalie finally feels her life getting back on track. Handsome, smart and sexy, Troy Evans is everything Natalie hoped to find in a man, and things quickly get serious—too serious for Troy. Devastated by his rejection, Natalie returns to the Mississippi home she ran from years ago. There, with Big Mama's help and wisdom, she confronts the painful events of her past, finding comfort in the faith of those around her. And as old wounds heal and the burden of long-buried secrets is lifted, Natalie realizes that God has led her home to show her that with love, prayer and a willing heart, every sinner can be saved, and every life redeemed.