The Forgiveness Handbook

You Can Experience Freedom of the Mind and Heart. Consider the following questions: - Do you ever make negative judgments about yourself or others? - Are you holding onto any regret, remorse, sorrow, guilt or shame about the past? - Do you carry any anger, resentment, blame or indignation toward yourself or anyone else? If the answer is yes to any of these - even in the smallest degree - then you have something to forgive. Forgiveness grants you freedom from the cruel patterns of judgmental, blaming thoughts. It liberates you from the oppressive burdens of unresolved emotions and the chafing restrictions of limiting beliefs from the past. Forgiveness gives you the freedom to more fully be and become a unique, confident and unbridled expression of yourself, so that you can create the levels of success and joy you most want in your life. This book is for you if you have suffered hurtful, painful, wounding or upsetting events and experiences of any sort in your life. It is for you if you have any questions about what forgiveness is and why you should expend the mental, emotional or spiritual energy to forgive anything or anyone. At the end of every chapter of this book are optional journaling exercises to complete. The exercises are designed to be done in sequence and to build on one another. If you do each of the exercises as you move through the book, you'll end up having completed your own personal process of forgiveness around one or more people or incidents from your life. This book is designed to be a handbook, a place where you can come for ideas, reminders and perspectives on forgiving and the benefits of doing so. Its intent is to inspire, motivate, encourage and cajole you into adopting and keeping a regular practice of forgiveness so that you can experience the freedom of mind and heart that is your birthright.

There is a need in both public and professional sectors for a deeper, and more complete understanding of forgiveness, as we are - in the author's own words - "on the threshold of an age of forgiveness and reconciliation." And yet despite continued interest and development in the field, researchers, clinicians, practitioners, and academics have long been without a comprehensive resource on which to base their work. The Handbook of Forgiveness summarizes the state of the science in the research, practice, and teaching of forgiveness. Chapters approach forgiveness and reconciliation from a variety of perspectives, drawing on related work in fields such as biology, personality, social psychology, clinical psychology, developmental psychology, philosophy, neuroscience, and international/political implications. The Handbook provides comprehensive treatments of the topic, integrating theoretical considerations, methodological discussions, and practical interventions strategies in order to appeal to researchers, clinicians, and practitioners. This volume is the most up-to-date and authoritative resource on the understanding of the science of forgiveness. The Handbook of Forgiveness has been chosen as a Book of Distinction by Templeton Press.

The present volume is a ground-breaking and agenda-setting investigation of the psychology of self-forgiveness. It brings together the work of expert clinicians and researchers working within the field, to address questions such as: Why is self-forgiveness so difficult? What contexts and psychological experiences give rise to the need for self-forgiveness? What approaches can therapists use to help people process difficult experiences that elicit guilt, shame and self-condemnation? How can people work through their own failures and transgressions? Assembling current theories and findings, this unique resource reviews and advances our understanding of self-forgiveness, and its potentially critical function in interpersonal relationships and individual emotional and physical health. The editors begin by exploring the nature of self-forgiveness. They consider its processes, causes, and effects, how it may be measured, and its potential benefits to theory and psychotherapy. Expert clinicians and researchers then examine self-forgiveness in its many facets; as a response to guilt and shame, a step toward processing transgressions, a means of reducing anxiety, and an essential component of, or, under some circumstances a barrier to, psychotherapeutic intervention. Contributors also address self-forgiveness as applied to diverse psychosocial contexts such as addiction and recovery, couples and families, healthy aging, the workplace, and the military. Among the topics in the Handbook: An evolutionary approach to shame-based self-criticism, self-forgiveness and compassion. Working through psychological needs following transgressions to arrive at self-forgiveness. Self-forgiveness and health: a stress-and-coping model. Self-forgiveness and personal and relational well-being. Self-directed intervention to promote self-forgiveness. Understanding the role of forgiving the self in the act of hurting oneself. The Handbook of the Psychology of Self-Forgiveness serves many healing professionals. It covers a wide range of problems for which individuals often seek help from counselors, clergy, social workers, psychologists and physicians. Research psychologists, philosophers, and sociologists studying self-forgiveness will also find it an essential handbook that draws together the advances made over the past several decades, and identifies important directions for the road ahead.

Inspiration and encouragement from across faith traditions for all who seek hope and wholeness through letting go. “The burden of a grudge, resentment or bitterness is not fully understood until the act of forgiving another lifts it and the freedom of grace given is experienced. How weighed down we are with being unforgiving! When you truly forgive from the heart … you know it by the liberation of your own soul.” —Rev. Timothy J. Mooney, in “A Choice and a Gift” Old wounds can bind up your heart and keep you from fully loving—and fully living—in the present. Your pain may come from devastating trauma or unconscious resentment from accumulated everyday grievances. No matter the depth of the hurt, true healing comes from the courage to face the past and begin the process of letting go. These offerings of warmth and wisdom from many different faiths, backgrounds and perspectives will encourage you to begin your own journey toward the wholeness and freedom that comes from true forgiveness. CONTRIBUTORS: Marcus Aurelius • Nancy L. Bieber • Rev. Carolyne Call • Rev. Dr. Joan Brown Campbell • Nancy Barrett Chickerneo, PhD • Paul Wesley Chilcote, PhD • William Cleary •Nancy Corcoran, CSJ • Linda Douty • Rabbi Ted Falcon • Marcia Ford • Marie M. Fortune • Tamar Frankiel, PhD • Rabbi Edwin Goldberg, DHL • Caren Goldman • Rev. Steven Greenebaum • Judy Greenfeld • Kent Ira Groff • Diana L. Guerrero • Karyn D. Kedar • Kay Lindahl • Rabbi David Lyon • Pastor Don Mackenzie • St. Maximos • Ron Miller • Diane M. Millis, PhD • Rev. Timothy J. Mooney • John Philip Newell • Linda Novick • Rev. Larry J. Peacock • Gordon Peerman • M. Basil Pennington, OCSO • Jan Phillips • Susan Quinn • Imam Jamal Rahman • Marty Richards, MSW, LCSW • The Rev. Canon C.K. Robertson, PhD • Rev. Nanette Sawyer • Rev. Donna Schaper • Katharine Jefferts Schori • Rami Shapiro • Louise Silk • Rev. Susan Sparks • Aaron Spevack, PhD • Rabbi Elie Kaplan Spitz • Molly and Bernie Srode • Tom Stella • Sohaib N. Sultan • Terry Taylor • Yoland Trevino • Rev. Jane E. Vennard • The Rev. Peter Wallace • Cynthia Winton-Henry

In this manual on how to forgive, there are insights and exercises without a preachy message or assumption that people “should” forgive. With chapters that explain what forgiveness is and how to deal with obstacles to it, it also addresses reconciliation with others and one’s own self. Practical and accessible, the book does not require religious practice or philosophy; it simply shows how to forgive in order to enhance self-esteem, be happier, and break free from limitations that can hold a person back.

A practical & powerful guide to transform self-judgment to self-forgiveness

Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize winner, Chair of The Elders, and Chair of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission, along with his daughter, the Reverend Mpho Tutu, offer a manual on the art of forgiveness—helping us to realize that we are all capable of healing and transformation. Tutu's role as the Chair of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission taught him much about forgiveness. If you asked anyone what they thought was going to happen to South Africa after apartheid, almost universally it was predicted that the country would be devastated by a comprehensive bloodbath. Yet, instead of revenge and retribution, this new nation chose to tread the difficult path of confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Each of us has a deep need to forgive and to be forgiven. After much reflection on the process of forgiveness, Tutu has seen that there are four important steps to healing: Admitting the wrong and acknowledging the harm; Telling one's story and witnessing the anguish; Asking for forgiveness and granting forgiveness; and renewing or releasing the relationship. Forgiveness is hard work. Sometimes it even feels like an impossible task. But it is only through walking this fourfold path that Tutu says we can free ourselves of the endless and unyielding cycle of pain and retribution. The Book of Forgiving is both a touchstone and a tool, offering Tutu's wise advice and showing the way to experience forgiveness. Ultimately, forgiving is the only means we have to heal ourselves and our aching world.

The photographs in this book depict the hands of prisoners from the early 20th century Turkey and have been drawn from the photographic albums of Abdul Hamid II, the 34th Sultan of the Ottoman Empire. Hayal & Hakikat (translated as Dreams & Fact) takes the form of two booklets-- A Handbook of Forgiveness and A Handbook of Punishment-- which can be viewed side by side. This book by Cemre Yesil Gönenli was inspired by the workshop 'Interpreting the Encyclopedia of Instanbul with Photographs' organised by Genis Açı Project Office and SALT in May 2019.