The Ice King

The old man went 220 and two-fisted, telling the kid, "Anybody give you any lip, you pop him in the nose." But the old man died, and the kid only went 100. And here came the sonsabitches who needed it on the nose. The Ice King recounts with no-snivelling insight the impact of a father's death on a boy, his passage through seasons of challenge, and its influence on the man he becomes.

A Viking temple. A Viking ship. Both preserved in the clinging, black mud of the North Yorkshire estuary. Press and TV watch over the archaeologists' shoulders as past and present merge. And while huge, death-cold creatures stalk and destroy through the blizzards of an eerily early winter, modern computer science and the dark night-knowledge of the old Norse gods disinter a terrible truth about a past that is sleeping, not dead.

Finding himself on the wrong side of mischief when his faithful sidekick, Gunther the penguin, is kidnapped, Ice King gets help from wacky sources, tries to be cool, and learns something unexpected about himself along the way.

Snow White has always been a free spirit. She enjoys partying and practising her beloved archery much more than chasing after men. One night, late in the forest, she was hunting a deer for charity when she witnessed her stepmother mercilessly slaughter it before her eyes, performing some sort of magic in the process, vowing to remain the Queen of Tyndil for all eternity. Yanni was devastated when she learned the people in her kingdom believed her to be unfit to rule. After learning a secret, she set off on a journey to Bjorku Kingdom to meet the notorious, known-womaniser, the Ice King. The very same man her stepmother, Ruth, has had her sights on for years. Yanni must repair her reputation in order to become Queen, and with the right man by her side she can change her future. Will she be able to win the man with a heart of ice and prevent her stepmother from triumphing once again?