The Lives We Actually Have

Warm and witty blessings found within the struggles of our shared humanity, from the New York Times bestselling authors of Good Enough Blessed are you, the strange duck. You with the very intense hobbies. Or the collection of movies or mugs or sneakers. You with the hometown or home team that makes you very, very proud. You, my dear, in all your intricacies . . . are a marvel. We live in a world that demands relentless perfection. Happy marriages and easy friendships. Bucket list–level adventures and matching family photos. But what if our actual lives don’t feel very #blessed? Might our everyday existence be worthy of a blessing too? Even an average Tuesday? Kate Bowler and Jessica Richie offer creative, faith-based blessings that center gratitude and hope while acknowledging our real, messy lives. Formatted like a prayer book, The Lives We Actually Have is an oasis and a landing spot for weary souls, with blessings that focus on the full range of human moments: garbage days, lovely days, grief-stricken days, and even (especially) completely ordinary days. These heartfelt blessings are a chance to exhale when we feel everything from careworn to restless, devastated to bored. Let’s have a reminder that we don’t need to wait for perfect lives when we can bless the lives we actually have.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “A meditation on sense-making when there’s no sense to be made, on letting go when we can’t hold on, and on being unafraid even when we’re terrified.”—Lucy Kalanithi “Belongs on the shelf alongside other terrific books about this difficult subject, like Paul Kalanithi’s When Breath Becomes Air and Atul Gawande’s Being Mortal.”—Bill Gates NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY REAL SIMPLE Kate Bowler is a professor at Duke Divinity School with a modest Christian upbringing, but she specializes in the study of the prosperity gospel, a creed that sees fortune as a blessing from God and misfortune as a mark of God’s disapproval. At thirty-five, everything in her life seems to point toward “blessing.” She is thriving in her job, married to her high school sweetheart, and loves life with her newborn son. Then she is diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. The prospect of her own mortality forces Kate to realize that she has been tacitly subscribing to the prosperity gospel, living with the conviction that she can control the shape of her life with “a surge of determination.” Even as this type of Christianity celebrates the American can-do spirit, it implies that if you “can’t do” and succumb to illness or misfortune, you are a failure. Kate is very sick, and no amount of positive thinking will shrink her tumors. What does it mean to die, she wonders, in a society that insists everything happens for a reason? Kate is stripped of this certainty only to discover that without it, life is hard but beautiful in a way it never has been before. Frank and funny, dark and wise, Kate Bowler pulls the reader deeply into her life in an account she populates affectionately with a colorful, often hilarious retinue of friends, mega-church preachers, relatives, and doctors. Everything Happens for a Reason tells her story, offering up her irreverent, hard-won observations on dying and the ways it has taught her to live. Praise for Everything Happens for a Reason “I fell hard and fast for Kate Bowler. Her writing is naked, elegant, and gripping—she’s like a Christian Joan Didion. I left Kate’s story feeling more present, more grateful, and a hell of a lot less alone. And what else is art for?”—Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Love Warrior and president of Together Rising

Author Abigail Thomas shares the story of how she started a new life after an accident left her husband brain damaged and institutionalized.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A compassionate, intelligent, and wry series of Christian daily reflections on learning to live with imperfection in a culture of self-help that promotes endless progress, from the author of Everything Happens for a Reason and the executive producer of the Everything Happens podcast “Brilliant, hilarious, absurd, honest, hopeful, true-hearted, and good to the core.”—Sarah Bessey, editor of A Rhythm of Prayer and author of Jesus Feminist In Kate Bowler’s bestselling memoir Everything Happens for a Reason, readers witnessed the ways she, as a divinity-school professor and young mother, reckoned with a Stage IV cancer diagnosis; in her follow-up memoir, No Cure for Being Human, she unflinchingly and winsomely unpacked the ways that life becomes both hard and beautiful when we abandon certainty and the illusion of control in our lives. Now, in their first-ever devotional book, Kate Bowler and co-author Jessica Richie offer 40ish short spiritual reflections on how we can make sense of life not as a pursuit of endless progress but as a chronic condition. This book is a companion for when you want to stop feeling guilty that you’re not living your best life now. Written gently and with humor, Good Enough is permission for all those who need to hear that there are some things you can fix—and some things you can’t. And it’s okay that life isn’t always better. In these gorgeously written reflections, Bowler and Richie offer fresh imagination for how truth, beauty, and meaning can be discovered amid the chaos of life. Their words celebrate kindness, honesty, and interdependence in a culture that rewards ruthless individualism and blind optimism. Ultimately, in these pages we can rest in the encouragement to strive for what is possible today—while recognizing that though we are finite, the life in front of us can be beautiful.

Does it feel like youre always striving but never arriving? What would it be like if life wasnt so hard, if you had more time and energy? Its the question were all trying to find the answer to; where is happiness and how do we get it? This is a practical self-improvement guide on surviving modern life. Rediscover the art of happiness, find meaning and purpose, and create a life you love. It seems like we live on fast forward. As a result, were living a fast life not a good life, in which we can do more things in less hours of the day but spend less time doing the things that really matter. Over the past few years I have transformed my own life. This involved overcoming challenges, discovering my true self and finding the courage to leave everything I know to walk my own path and make my dreams a reality. I learned a lot about myself and even more about life and happiness along the way. This book doesnt create happiness for you; its already there inside. It will empower you to realise your potential, improve your life, and achieve your dreams. Jess uncovers the key to creating a happier life and leads by example. Her perspective shines a bright light at a much needed time. Let her guide you, this book will help. Shannon Kaiser, Best Selling Author of Adventures for Your Soul & Find Your Happy

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A stunning “portrait of the enduring grace of friendship” (NPR) about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. A masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century. NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST • MAN BOOKER PRIZE FINALIST • WINNER OF THE KIRKUS PRIZE A Little Life follows four college classmates—broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition—as they move to New York in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships, which are tinged by addiction, success, and pride, deepen over the decades, the men are held together by their devotion to the brilliant, enigmatic Jude, a man scarred by an unspeakable childhood trauma. A hymn to brotherly bonds and a masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century, Hanya Yanagihara’s stunning novel is about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. Look for Hanya Yanagihara’s latest bestselling novel, To Paradise.

Death has long been a pre-occupation of philosophers, and this is especially so today. The Oxford Handbook of Philosophy of Death collects 21 newly commissioned essays that cover current philosophical thinking of death-related topics across the entire range of the discipline. These include metaphysical topics--such as the nature of death, the possibility of an afterlife, the nature of persons, and how our thinking about time affects what we think about death--as well as axiological topics, such as whether death is bad for its victim, what makes it bad to die, what attitude it is fitting to take towards death, the possibility of posthumous harm, and the desirability of immortality. The contributors also explore the views of ancient philosophers such as Aristotle, Plato and Epicurus on topics related to the philosophy of death, and questions in normative ethics, such as what makes killing wrong when it is wrong, and whether it is wrong to kill fetuses, non-human animals, combatants in war, and convicted murderers. With chapters written by a wide range of experts in metaphysics, ethics, and conceptual analysis, and designed to give the reader a comprehensive view of recent developments in the philosophical study of death, this Handbook will appeal to a broad audience in philosophy, particularly in ethics and metaphysics.

Maria had been raped by a way of lifea way of life known as Coconis, which refers to various kinds of vicious, horrific, and inexcusable forms of barbaric behaviour. As a direct consequence of this horrific and violent crime, Maria gave birth a few months later, just like several other young girls who had also become innocent, silent, and secret victims of similar crimes in this country. However, unlike some of the other young woman victims, Maria was blessed with a strong faith in God. She was determined not to resort to taking her own life and not to destroy the tiny life which was already gradually starting to grow inside her womb. Maria had simply decided to transform this violent and hateful act which had stripped her of all human dignity into something much more powerful and good. She wanted to be able to truly forgive, not just the kind of forgiveness given by those who have no choice, but the kind of forgiveness proffered by the weak and feeble to those who are stronger because they have no other choice in the matter. Neither was it the biblical kind when one simply forgives ones fellow men for their sins and wrongdoings. It wasnt like the forgiveness given by God either, but more of Marias own personal and unique quest for forgiveness that she so yearned to be able to give to the young men who had raped her. Maria was determined that her rapists should recognize the brutality and wickedness of their acts and then implore her forgiveness so that she herself could, in turn, sincerely forgive them. It was the only way for her to redeem her personal dignity. She felt that she had suffered enough and that she had every right to expect her rapists recognition of the terrible suffering that they had inflicted on her. So it was on a beautiful sunny Saturday morning of June that Maria finally gave birth to twin boys. She called them Kimia and Elikia (which means peace and faith in the Congolese language). Maria brought up and educated her twin boys in a traditional way. She possessed a sufficient sum of money to pay for their education and see them through to the end of their high school education. She knew that she had done her very best with regard to their civil education. She died not long after receiving her twin sons baccalaurat results. She died in peace, but without having had the opportunity to be able to truly forgive her brutal attackers. She died without anyone coming to ask her for forgiveness and without having been able to offer her sincere forgiveness. But her last thoughts really went out to her wonderful children. She remembered the great ocean of motherly love that she had been able to give them during their upbringing. Before she closed her eyes for the last time, she asked God to bless them. On her deathbed, she didnt have the slightest inkling of the powerful impact of the incredible testimonial that she had succeeded in bequeathing to her children. As Maria, Africa had also been kidnapped, raped (and its not a Belgian story), and tortured for centuries. From those repeated rapes were born sick and weak republics. None of the many rapists did recognize the shameful paternity despite the fact that their saliva and blood were still visible everywhere, and there was no need for complex DNA analysis to find out whom they belong to.