The Loss Of A Life Partner

Through discussions of various theories of grief, narratives of the bereaved obtained in interviews with 22 men and women, case study analysis, and chapter summaries, this text integrates the literature about and the bereavement experiences of partners in varying types of relationships.

Although there is extensive research on the loss of a spouse, predominantly focusing on the experiences of widows, much less attention is paid to bereaved partners not married to their significant other, whether or not the partners are of the same sex. This first-of-its-kind work explores both socially sanctioned and disenfranchised grief, highlighting similarities and differences. Combining a discussion of various theories of grief with personal narratives of grieving men and women drawn from numerous interviews, and detailed case study analysis, Carolyn Ambler Walter has produced a penetrating examination of the bereavement experiences of partners in varying types of relationships. She views narratives of widows, widowers, and bereaved domestic gay and lesbian partners from a postmodern perspective that breaks away from the traditional belief that the living must detach themselves from the dead in order to move on with their lives. Instead, building on the works of postmodern grief theorists such as Klass, Silverman, and Nickman, Walter views ongoing bonds with the dead as a resource for enriching functionality in the present, and as a key to looking to the future.

Guides readers through the emotions and practical concerns of finding love after the death of a partner. Romantic love, in all its permutations, forms one of the most fascinating of human interactions. It also can be one of life’s thorniest challenges, especially in a world where relationships often unfold online and, recently, where a pandemic barred face-to-face contact with people outside one’s immediate household. Among those seeking romance in increasing numbers is a group that stands apart: the women who, slammed by the death of a spouse, bravely pursue new love. Finding Love After Loss: A Relationship Roadmap for Widows goes to the trenches to interview widows who have embarked, nervously but with hope, on this quest. Their frank and revealing interviews, along with wisdom from relationship experts, provide guidance to other women trying to navigate the relationship scene when their last date might have been decades ago. Where do widows find new partners? How much should they share in their online profile? What do they tell their friends and family? What about getting naked for the first time with a new man? Who pays when the bill appears at a restaurant? More than any time in U.S. history, the country’s widows are seeking another chance at romance. The sheer number of widows—11 million, with an average age in the fifties—makes them a formidable force. They are living longer and have broader views on sex and money. Yet it is difficult for them to find their footing. Many of them have been away from the courtship arena for decades. They may make their return to dating with children and in-laws in tow. They are confused by the new rules and unclear on the expectations but convinced that they are capable of loving again. This book, written by a widow and a co-author who dated a widower, details just how powerful, sometimes daunting, and exhilarating the journey to new love can be. It also unveils the extraordinary ways that widows are reshaping the romance landscape: by tossing traditional marriage vows by the roadside, by skipping marriage entirely, or even by committing to a new partner but living apart. This isn’t your grandmother’s widowhood scene, not by a long shot. Finding Love After Loss examines the crazy, sad, and even zany contributions that people left behind by the death of a partner bring to new relationships. At the same time, it reveals both the amazing resilience of women who have lived through great loss and the irresistible pull of human connection.

If you think this is just another book about coping with the loss of a partner... You're in for a surprise! Based on her long-running class "Gaining Traction," grief counselor Vicki Panagotacos delivers a step-by-step program that will open your eyes to a new way of life. Panagotacos helps you think clearly about what you want - and don't want - as you move forward after loss. Tapping into personal stories told in her classroom, backed by research that reveals what secretly drives many of our decisions, Panagotacos gets you emotionally prepared to go after the life you deserve. So, if you have a busy calendar but little joy... if you're constantly second-guessing yourself... if the thought of another relationship makes you cringe... by the end of this book you will: have the tools to harness anxiety and deal with uncertainty; be ready to commit to experiences not previously considered; and know when to say "yes" or "no" to that new relationship. As a professional who has focused on helping those who experience loss, and as a person who is in my third year of grieving the loss of my spouse, I recommend Gaining Traction without reservation. This book is an invaluable resource for anyone who has lost a life partner and particularly good for those who are beyond their first year after loss and think there is something wrong with them because they don't feel better. Counselors will also find this user-friendly volume a "must-have" reference. - Janice Nadeau, PhD FT, Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist Vicki Panagotacos has an uncanny ability to tune in to her clients, which makes her one of the best grief practitioners I have known. She is eloquent and accurate in meeting each individual where they are emotionally - offering courage and hope for healing. Her caring, supportive and wise presence has translated well into her book, Gaining Traction. Read it and then pass it on to another you know and love. - Lyn Prashant, PhD FT, Somatic Grief Specialist Panagotacos has listened well and thought clearly and compassionately about how to gently guide individuals back toward a full life after the death of their mate. Readers will feel Vicki's understanding of their complex experience and be enriched by her suggestions for imaginative thought and action. Excellent for clients and for pastors, therapists and counselors. I recommend this book to colleagues and friends with a full heart. - Eric Greenleaf PhD, Psychologist and Director, Milton H. Erickson Institute of the SF Bay Area Vicki has been a gift to us here at Pathways Home Health and Hospice, and Gaining Traction has been the foundation of our 2nd year partner loss program she helped create. Her book provides inspiration and a much needed resource for those who are challenged to rebuild their lives without their loved ones. I am thrilled that others will have the benefit of her meaningful and helpful book. - Chris Taich, MSW, LCSW, Director, Bereavement Services, Pathways Home Health and Hospice, Sunnyvale, CA Gaining Traction offers the bereaved spouse/partner hope on their grief journey and practical insight into how to move forward in a healthy manner. The reader will appreciate the reflections of those having struggled in their first year of loss and their transformation after participating in the author's second year class. - Brad Leary, LCSW, CT, Director, Social Services and Counseling, Hospice of the Valley, San Jose, CA Vicki Panagotacos clearly understands the emotions and challenges a person faces when dealing with one's grief. She brings a wealth of knowledge and compassion to this book, and provides helpful tips and suggestions for navigating the future after partner loss. - Dwight Wilson, CEO, Mission Hospice, San Mateo, CA"

Challenging conventional wisdom on grief, a pioneering therapist offers a new resource for those experiencing loss When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. “Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form,” says Megan Devine. “It is a natural and sane response to loss.” So, why does our culture treat grief like a disease to be cured as quickly as possible? In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, “happy” life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling and heartful book, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to “fix” your pain • How to help the people you love—with essays to teach us the best skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others through the grieving process Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to “solve” grief. Megan writes, “Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution.” Through stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face—in our personal lives, in the lives of those we love, and in the wider world. It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.

Action steps for your marriage is the key to this book. A list of these action steps can be sent to a wife by emailing the author at his site listed in the book. Check out the "Wife Pep Pills" page. Cracking The Marriage Code is laid out to begin at the surface level for a couple's communication process and digs deeper with each chapter. Cracking the Marriage Code is a book for husbands that want a marriage that works and that's happy, loving, and lifelong. This is a book that covers every facet of marriage, from communication and listening to sex and romance. It is filled with action steps to help a husband improve his connection and understanding of that beautiful and mysterious creature he decided to devote his life to. However, though it is a book written for husbands, it's really for both the husband and his wife to share and work on together in order to take their marriage to the next level.

First published in 1996. This new book gives voice to an emerging consensus among bereavement scholars that our understanding of the grief process needs to be expanded. The dominant 20th century model holds that the function of grief and mourning is to cut bonds with the deceased, thereby freeing the survivor to reinvest in new relationships in the present. Pathological grief has been defined in terms of holding on to the deceased. Close examination reveals that this model is based more on the cultural values of modernity than on any substantial data of what people actually do. Presenting data from several populations, 22 authors - among the most respected in their fields - demonstrate that the health resolution of grief enables one to maintain a continuing bond with the deceased. Despite cultural disapproval and lack of validation by professionals, survivors find places for the dead in their on-going lives and even in their communities. Such bonds are not denial: the deceased can provide resources for enriched functioning in the present. Chapters examine widows and widowers, bereaved children, parents and siblings, and a population previously excluded from bereavement research: adoptees and their birth parents. Bereavement in Japanese culture is also discussed, as are meanings and implications of this new model of grief. Opening new areas of research and scholarly dialogue, this work provides the basis for significant developments in clinical practice in the field.

Dating a widower comes with unique challenges that you won’t encounter when dating a single or divorced man. For the relationship to work, the widower will have to put his feelings for his late wife to the side and focus on you. But how do you know if he’s ready to take this step? Drawing on his own experience as a remarried widower, Abel Keogh provides unique insight and guidance into the hearts and minds of widowers, including: · Why widowers date so soon after their late wife dies · How to know if the widower is ready to make room in his heart for you · Red flags that indicate widowers aren’t ready for commitment · How to set and maintain healthy relationship boundaries with widowers Dating a Widower is your guide to having a successful relationship with a man who’s starting over. It also contains 21 real-life stories from women who have gone down the same road you’re traveling. It’s the perfect book to help you decide if the man you’re seeing is ready for a new relationship—and whether dating a widower is right for you. *** Abel Keogh is the expert on widower relationships. A remarried widower, Abel has successfully helped thousands of women know if the widowers they’re dating are ready for a serious relationship. He also helps widowers understand what it takes to overcome grief and open their heart to another woman. Learn more at http://www.abelkeogh.com.