The Merry Spinster

"Empowering, subversive. . . . Daniel M. Lavery twists fairy tales into elegant garrotes. . . . There's not a single weak link in the cat's-breath chain of this collection." —The New York Times Book Review Adapted from the beloved “Children’s Stories Made Horrific” series, The Merry Spinster takes up the trademark wit that endeared Daniel M. Lavery to readers of both The Toast and the bestselling debut Texts from Jane Eyre. Sinister and inviting, familiar and alien all at the same time, The Merry Spinster twists traditional children’s stories and fairy tales with elements of psychological horror, emotional clarity, and a keen sense of feminist mischief. Unfalteringly faithful to its beloved source material, The Merry Spinster also illuminates the unsuspected and frequently alarming emotional complexities at play in the stories we tell ourselves, and each other, as we tuck ourselves in for the night.

'Dark and dreadful and persistently clever. Ortberg bloodily turns familiar tales inside out.' Rainbow Rowell 'A collection of stories delectable, formidable, and nimble. As a fantasist and short story writer, Ortberg is without peer.' Kelly Link 'Ortberg has a voracious appetite for poison apples, and a genius for finding the places in fairyland where all the bodies are buried. The Merry Spinster will ruin your most-loved fables, in the best possible way.' Charlie Jane Anders 'Ortberg has the sloe gin wit of Dorothy Parker and the soul of a Classics nerd. It's like both of them sat next to each other in The Merry Spinster and gossiped away. The result is an absolute delight.' John Scalzi 'Ortberg has created a Frankenstein's monster of familiar narratives . . . [that swings] between Terry Pratchett's satirical jocularity and Angela Carter's sinister, shrewd storytelling, and the result is gorgeous, unsettling, splenic, cruel, and wickedly smart. I've never read anything quite like them, and I bet, Dear Reader, that you haven't either.' Carmen Maria Machado A collection of darkly mischievous stories based on classic fairy tales. Sinister and inviting, familiar and alien all at the same time, The Merry Spinster updates traditional children's stories and fairy tales with elements of psychological horror, emotional clarity, and a keen sense of feminist mischief. Unfalteringly faithful to its beloved source material, The Merry Spinster also illuminates the unsuspected, and frequently alarming, emotional complexities at play in the stories we tell ourselves and each other as we tuck ourselves in for the night. Bed time will never be the same.

Christmas is here, and Elinor Asheley's entire family has gathered at their country estate to celebrate. But when her arch nemesis arrives at the estate by chance, warm wishes and the holiday spirit are the last things on her mind. Elinor is determined to protect her family from him no matter how changed he claims to be. When the winter weather strands Hugh Sterling at the estate of the woman who hates him most in the world, his only wish is to escape the place unscathed. He is not the man he once was, and he will do everything he can to prove that to Elinor. But nothing can prepare him for the changes that spending his holiday with her will bring.

Spinster is as spinster does... Georgiana Allen is a spinster and everybody knows it. She also happens to be one of the writers for the Spinster Chronicles, and everybody knows that as well. She's accepted her lot in life, and, along with the other spinsters in her circle, takes great pride in the articles she writes and the influence she has. Then Captain Anthony Sterling infiltrates their group, and her life, and Georgie impossibly begins to hope once more. Tony Sterling had no idea what to expect when he agreed to break up the Spinsters for his cousin, but he certainly did not expect Georgie Allen. From the very first meeting, she upends everything he thought a spinster would be, and her beauty and wit keeps him on edge in thrilling ways. The more he gets to know the Spinsters, the less he wants to break them up. And the more he wants Georgie in his life. Permanently.

Knit, sew, and craft your way to self-empowerment. Are you a Nasty Woman ready to smash the patriarchy with a needle and thread? Proudly proclaim your feminism with your very own DIY Bleeding Heart T-shirt? Or stage a protest with the rest of the girls, wearing knitted Pussyhats? Be part of the revolution by reclaiming the "domestic" arts of knitting, sewing, and more—to channel your feminist rage. With pictures, step-by-step instructions, bonus patterns, and tips for crafters of all skill levels from beginner to advanced, Crafting the Resistance is the book for women’s rights activists on a DIY path to self-determination. Put your homemaking and protesting skills to the test with thirty-five girl-powered, easy-to-make, kickass projects such as: "Snowflake" knitted wristers "Bleeding Heart" T-shirt Clear vinyl protest tote bag to speed up security screenings The Pussyhat as knitted hats, holiday ornaments, throw pillows, and cat beds “Nasty Nag” zippered pouch Well read bookmarks And More! Take politics into your own hands, literally, and craft your message out into the world. Including an essay and quotes on the history and importance of craftivism, Crafting the Resistance is the ultimate book for political crafters, DIY activists, empowered protestors, and any woman—or man—who is part of the resistance.