The New Adolescence

Parents of teenagers need a new playbook—one that addresses the new challenges they face today. Teens are growing up in an entirely new world, and this has huge implications for our parenting. Understandably, many parents are baffled by problems that didn't exist less than a decade ago, like social media and video game obsession, sexting, and vaping. The New Adolescence is a realistic and reassuring handbook for parents. It offers road-tested, science-based solutions for raising happy, healthy, and successful teenagers. Inside, you'll find practical guidance for: • Providing the support and structure teens need (while still giving them the autonomy they seek) • Influencing and motivating teenagers • Helping kids overcome distractions that hinder their learning • Protecting them from anxiety, isolation, and depression • Fostering the real-world, face-to-face social connections they desperately need • Having effective conversations about tough subjects--including sex, drugs, and money A highly acclaimed sociologist and coach at UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center and the author of Raising Happiness, Dr. Christine Carter melds research—including the latest findings in neuroscience, sociology, and social psychology—with her own (often hilarious) real-world experiences as the mother of four teenagers.

A Guidebook for Parents Navigating the New Teen Years Learn about the “New Teen” and how to adjust your parenting approach. Kids are growing up with nearly unlimited access to social media and the internet, and unprecedented academic, social, and familial stressors. Starting as early as eight years old, children are exposed to information, thought, and emotion that they are developmentally unprepared to process. As a result, saving the typical “teen parenting” strategies for thirteen-year-olds is now years too late. Urgent advice for parents of teens. Dr. John Duffy’s parenting book is a new and necessary guide that addresses this hidden phenomenon of the changing teenage brain. Dr. Duffy, a nationally recognized expert in parenting for nearly twenty-five years, offers this book as a guide for parents raising children who are growing up quickly and dealing with unresolved adolescent issues that can lead to anxiety and depression. Unprecedented psychological suffering among our young and why it is occurring. A shift has taken place in how and when children develop. Because of the exposure they face, kids are emotionally overwhelmed at a young age, often continuing to search for a sense of self well into their twenties. Paradoxically, Dr. Duffy recognizes the good that comes with these challenges, such as the sense of justice instilled in teenagers starting at a young age. Readers of this book will: • Sort through the overwhelming circumstances of today’s teens and better understand the changing landscape of adolescence • Come away with a revised, conscious parenting plan more suited to addressing the current needs of the New Teen • Discover the joy in parenting again by reclaiming the role of your teen’s ally, guide, and consultant If you enjoyed parenting books such as The Yes Brain, How to Raise an Adult, The Deepest Well, and The Conscious Parent; then Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety should be next on your list!

This book presents groundbreaking strategies for psychotherapy with today's teens, for whom high-risk behavior, lack of adult guidance, and intense anxiety and stress increasingly come with the territory. Ron Taffel addresses the key challenge of building a therapeutic relationship that is strong enough to promote real behavioral and emotional change. He demonstrates effective ways to give advice that teens will listen to, get them to tell the truth about their lives, help parents reestablish their authority, and extend the reach of therapy by such nontraditional means as inviting teens to bring friends into sessions.

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Sample Book Insights: #1 The central tenet of adolescence is a drive for autonomy, which can be hard for parents to deal with. However, parenting teenagers is much easier than parenting little kids, as they can put on their own shoes and make their own lunches. #2 When we are happy, we are less likely to get pulled into teenage moodiness, and when they are stressed or in crisis, we are more likely to be helpful to them. #3 Self-care is not selfish. It is the opposite of that. It is the act of taking time for yourself, to relax, and to improve your relationships with others. It is not the time to become more anxious and distant from your kids. #4 We need to take care of ourselves more than ever when our kids are teenagers because they can sniff out hypocrisy a mile away. Teens can develop a good nose for social injustice, and they will not be impressed by anything that smells of unfairness or pretense.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • An award-winning guide to the sometimes erratic and confusing behavior of teenage girls that explains what’s going on, prepares parents for what’s to come, and lets them know when it’s time to worry. Look for Under Pressure, the companion guide to coping with stress and anxiety among girls, available now. In this sane, highly engaging, and informed guide for parents of daughters, Dr. Damour draws on decades of experience and the latest research to reveal the seven distinct—and absolutely normal—developmental transitions that turn girls into grown-ups, including Parting with Childhood, Contending with Adult Authority, Entering the Romantic World, and Caring for Herself. Providing realistic scenarios and welcome advice on how to engage daughters in smart, constructive ways, Untangled gives parents a broad framework for understanding their daughters while addressing their most common questions, including • My thirteen-year-old rolls her eyes when I try to talk to her, and only does it more when I get angry with her about it. How should I respond? • Do I tell my teen daughter that I’m checking her phone? • My daughter suffers from test anxiety. What can I do to help her? • Where’s the line between healthy eating and having an eating disorder? • My teenage daughter wants to know why I’m against pot when it’s legal in some states. What should I say? • My daughter’s friend is cutting herself. Do I call the girl’s mother to let her know? Perhaps most important, Untangled helps mothers and fathers understand, connect, and grow with their daughters. When parents know what makes their daughter tick, they can embrace and enjoy the challenge of raising a healthy, happy young woman. BOOKS FOR A BETTER LIFE AWARD WINNER “Finally, there’s some good news for puzzled parents of adolescent girls, and psychologist Lisa Damour is the bearer of that happy news. [Untangled] is the most down-to-earth, readable parenting book I’ve come across in a long time.”—The Washington Post “Anna Freud wrote in 1958, ‘There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate themselves.’ In the intervening decades, the transition doesn’t appear to have gotten any easier which makes Untangled such a welcome new resource.”—The Boston Globe

Do you sometimes wonder how your teen is ever going to survive on his or her own as an adult? Does your high school junior seem oblivious to the challenges that lie ahead? Does your academically successful nineteen-year-old still expect you to “just take care of” even the most basic life tasks? Welcome to the stunted world of the Endless Adolescence. Recent studies show that today’s teenagers are more anxious and stressed and less independent and motivated to grow up than ever before. Twenty-five is rapidly becoming the new fifteen for a generation suffering from a debilitating “failure to launch.” Now two preeminent clinical psychologists tell us why and chart a groundbreaking escape route for teens and parents. Drawing on their extensive research and practice, Joseph Allen and Claudia Worrell Allen show that most teen problems are not hardwired into teens’ brains and hormones but grow instead out of a “Nurture Paradox” in which our efforts to support our teens by shielding them from the growth-spurring rigors and rewards of the adult world have backfired badly. With compelling examples and practical and profound suggestions, the authors outline a novel approach for producing dramatic leaps forward in teen maturity, including • Turn Consumers into Contributors Help teens experience adult maturity–its bumps and its joys–through the right kind of employment or volunteer activity. • Feed Them with Feedback Let teens see and hear how the larger world perceives them. Shielding them from criticism–constructive or otherwise–will only leave them unequipped to deal with it when they get to the “real world.” • Provide Adult Connections Even though they’ll deny it, teens desperately need to interact with adults (including parents) on a more mature level–and such interaction will help them blossom! • Stretch the Teen Envelope Do fewer things for teens that they can do for themselves, and give them tasks just beyond their current level of competence and comfort. Today’s teens are starved for the lost fundamentals they need to really grow: adult connections and the adult rewards of autonomy, competence, and mastery. Restoring these will help them unlearn their adolescent helplessness and grow into adults who can make you–and themselves–proud.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • An urgently needed guide to the alarming increase in anxiety and stress experienced by girls from elementary school through college, from the author of Untangled “An invaluable read for anyone who has girls, works with girls, or cares about girls—for everyone!”—Claire Shipman, author of The Confidence Code and The Confidence Code for Girls Though anxiety has risen among young people overall, studies confirm that it has skyrocketed in girls. Research finds that the number of girls who said that they often felt nervous, worried, or fearful jumped 55 percent from 2009 to 2014, while the comparable number for adolescent boys has remained unchanged. As a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with girls, Lisa Damour, Ph.D., has witnessed this rising tide of stress and anxiety in her own research, in private practice, and in the all-girls’ school where she consults. She knew this had to be the topic of her new book. In the engaging, anecdotal style and reassuring tone that won over thousands of readers of her first book, Untangled, Damour starts by addressing the facts about psychological pressure. She explains the surprising and underappreciated value of stress and anxiety: that stress can helpfully stretch us beyond our comfort zones, and anxiety can play a key role in keeping girls safe. When we emphasize the benefits of stress and anxiety, we can help our daughters take them in stride. But no parents want their daughter to suffer from emotional overload, so Damour then turns to the many facets of girls’ lives where tension takes hold: their interactions at home, pressures at school, social anxiety among other girls and among boys, and their lives online. As readers move through the layers of girls’ lives, they’ll learn about the critical steps that adults can take to shield their daughters from the toxic pressures to which our culture—including we, as parents—subjects girls. Readers who know Damour from Untangled or the New York Times, or from her regular appearances on CBS News, will be drawn to this important new contribution to understanding and supporting today’s girls. Praise for Under Pressure “Truly a must-read for parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors wanting to help girls along the path to adulthood.”—Julie Lythcott-Haims, New York Times bestselling author of How to Raise an Adult

Parents may survive the terrible twos and the first years of school all right, but the teenage years bring entirely new and alien creatures. So, parents have a choice: either send that teenager to boarding school and visit him when he reaches normalcy again (in about ten years) or choose to experience the best, most fun years of life--together! The secret is in how the parental cards are played. With his signature wit and commonsense psychology, internationally recognized family expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Kevin Leman helps parents communicate with the "whatever" generation establish healthy boundaries and workable guidelines gain respect--even admiration--from their teenager turn selfish behavior around navigate the critical years with confidence pack their teenager's bags with what they need for life now and in the future become the major difference maker in their teenager's life Teenagers can successfully face the many temptations of adolescence and grow up to be great adults. And parents, Dr. Leman says, are the ones who can make all the difference, because they count far more in their teenager's life than they'll ever know . . . even if their teenager won't admit it (at least until she's in college and wants to know how to do the laundry).