The New Rules For Blondes

Writer, comedienne, and full-time Blonde, Selena Coppock offers up adventures, misadventures, and golden-hued nuggets of wisdom in a laugh-out-loud anthem for those of us who really do have more fun. . . . The modern blonde is savvy, wise, confident, capable, and not afraid to laugh at herself when the occasion calls for it. She knows who she is and is prepared to subvert all stereotypes (although she's not above wielding her golden tresses to her advantage), and knows how to be both classy and a little brassy. In the way only a Boston-bred New Yorker who once won "Best Hair" in her high school graduating class could, Coppock doles out tongue-in-cheek advice about avoiding hair disasters, the consequences of dating a man who cares a little too much about his own hair product, and so much more in an outrageous essay collection that will have even the staunchest of raven-haired beauties considering a trip to the nearest salon.

A detailed look at the charmed life and tragic death of one of Hollywood's earliest stars A vibrant and beloved Golden Age film comedienne who worked alongside the Marx Brothers, Laurel and Hardy, Ginger Rogers, Cary Grant, Clara Bow, and dozens of others, Thelma Todd was one of the rare actors to successfully cross over from silent films to "talkies." This authoritative new biography traces Todd's life and career, from a vivacious little girl to a young woman who became a reluctant beauty queen to her rapid rise as a Hollywood comedy star to her mysterious death at the age of 29. Increasingly disenchanted with the studio star system, Todd opened the successful Thelma Todd's Sidewalk Café, attracting adoring fans, tourists, and Hollywood celebrities. Life appeared blessed for the beautiful and outspoken Hollywood rebel. So the country was shocked when Todd was found dead by her housekeeper in a garage near the café. An inquest concluded that her death was accidental, caused by inhaling the car's exhaust fumes. In a thorough new investigation that draws on FBI documents, interviews, photographs, reports, and extortion notes—much of these not previously available to the public—author Michelle Morgan offers fresh evidence and conclusions about the circumstances surrounding Todd's death, proving what many people have long suspected, that Thelma had been murdered. The cast of suspects includes Thelma's Hollywood-director lover; her gangster ex-husband; assorted thugs who were pressuring her to install gaming tables in the room above her popular café; and a new, never-before-named mobster. Coinciding with the 80th anniversary of Todd's death, The Ice Cream Blonde is sure to interest any fan of Thelma Todd, Hollywood's Golden Age, or gripping real-life murder mysteries.

Zachary Nixon Johnson is the last private eye on earth (long story, starts here). And in the pop culture-crazed, deco-inspired world of 2057, that makes him a bit of a celebrity. It also makes him a magnet for trouble. In his years as a PI, Zach has seen a lot of strange things and solved a lot of crazy cases. But when the famous BB Starr, a former exotic dancer who is now the CEO of the world’s largest corporation, hires him to find her illegal, plutonium-powered, psychotic android clone, Zach knows that the weirdness of his life is about to get a whole lot weirder. Once Zach takes the case, his life is suddenly filled with unwanted publicity, uncommon dangers, and unexplained assassination attempts. He realizes that not only is this case more trouble than it’s worth, but the mystery of the missing android is deeper than he thought. Together with his beautiful, kick-boxing surgeon girlfriend Electra, his genius inventor tech expert Randy, and his holographic, sentient super-computer sidekick HARV, Zach must find a way to unravel the mystery, find the missing android, and quite possibly save all humanity from total destruction. What some guys will do for five thousand credits per day, plus expenses. REVIEWS An excellent first novel in the style of the great Douglas Adams ... This novel can be universally recommended to anyone with a funny bone. --Cinescape Surprisingly clever ... spoofs the genre and everything else in sight. --Science Fiction Chronicle (Best of '01) A fast-paced science fiction noir thriller that has entertaining plot twists. --Romantic Times Fast-paced, witty and shrewd ... futuristic pulp for the thinking reader ... No one who got two paragraphs into this dark, droll, downright irresistible novel could ever bear to put it down until the last heart pounding moment. --SF Site A tongue-in-cheek hardboiled attitude .. good fun for those who can handle the concentrated doses of humor. --Locus Manages to blend the pulpy hard-boiled detective genre with pulpy sf for an entertaining read that pokes fun at both. The writing and dialogue is snappy and smart and the story is fast paced. I can't recommend enough for anyone looking for a fun twist on sf and detective novels. --Pink Raygun

A comedian and Moth veteran lays out useful tips and tricks for maximizing the impact of your stories—so you can nail it every time Do you ever wish you could tell a story that leaves others spellbound? Comedian, Upright Citizens Brigade storytelling program founder, and Moth champion Margot Leitman will show you how in this practical guide to storytelling. Using a fun, irreverent, and infographic approach, Long Story Short breaks a story into concrete components. From content and structure to emotional impact and delivery, Leitman guides you through the entire storytelling process, providing personal anecdotes, relatable examples, and practical exercises along the way. Using a fun, irreverent, and infographic approach, Long Story Short breaks a story into concrete components. From content and structure to emotional impact and delivery, Leitman guides you through the entire storytelling process, providing personal anecdotes, relatable examples, and practical exercises along the way.

Cassandra is the student council president at Thatcher College. She takes her position seriously, even if others on the council, such as the frat bro named Brock who serves as vice president, don’t. But with the big game against Kinnock University coming up, the council votes to hold a spirit week leading up to the game, including a blonde out, where students will dye their hair blonde to match the yellow of their school colors. Even though Cassandra voted against spirit week and the blonde out, it still passed and she is expected to take part. But when she waits until the last minute to buy the hair dye, all that is left is a strange brand with the mention of bimbo blonde. But the hair dye does more than just color her hair. It changes her whole life. What will happen to Cassandra? Will she find happiness as a bimbo? Is it even permanent? And how might Brock play a role in her bimbofied life? Find out in Blonde Out. This bimbofication short story is 7,200 words long. It is the first book in Spirit Week Series. This book features themes of bimboification, bimboization, and bimbification.

'Fascinating ...Pitman skillfully navigates the complicated history of our addiction to fair hair, skipping through the centuries with an elegant touch' Independent 'Riveting ... provocative ... ON BLONDES is ultimately a study of power-and powerlessness-between the sexes ... travelling undercover, this brunette produced a book which, like its subject, is wonderfully enlightening' Telegraph In art and literature, in history and popular culture, blonde has never been a mere colour. For 2,500 years, it has been a blazing signal and around this obsession entire industries have developed, influential trends set. From Greek prostitutes mimicking the golden-haired Aphrodite, to the Californian beach babe; from pigeon-dung and saffron dyes to L'Oreal - because you're worth it - we see the lengths to which women will go to become blonde. The power and duality of the blonde as either erotic symbol or saintly virgin waxes and wanes but never disappears. Weaving a story rich in anecdote, history and high intrigue, Joanna Pitman effortlessly combines the wealth of her knowledge with a sharp and clear-sighted view of the power of the blonde throughout the ages.

The year is 2017. Lucy Pavlov is the CEO of PavSoft Industries, home of a revolutionary operating system that every computer in the world runs on. Her personal wealth is immeasurable, her intelligence is unfathomable, and she's been voted World's Most Beautiful Woman for three years running. To put it simply - she has it all. But not everything is quite right in Lucy's life. For starters, she has no memories prior to 2015. She also keeps having run-ins with a unicorn. And to make matters even worse, a bomb is hurtling through interstellar space, headed straight for Lucy - and the planet known as Earth.

The funny romantic comedy about an unlikely law student with big dreams that inspired the blockbuster movie and the Broadway musical. Elle Woods, California University senior, seems to have it all. President of Delta Gamma sorority, a star in the classroom (her major: sociopolitical jewelry design)—and is on the verge of becoming the much-envied Mrs. Warner Huntington III. Too bad Warner, bound for Stanford Law, dumps her with the explanation that he now needs a more “serious” woman at his side. Faced with this unexpected reversal of fortune, Woods doesn't get depressed, she gets busy. Thanks to a creative application and a demand for “diversity” at Stanford Law, Elle gets her acceptance letter. Soon she's packing up her convertible—as well as her miniature Chihuahua—determined to win back her man, and to prove to herself that dreaming big is the only way to dream. Smart, fast, and funny. Legally Blonde proves just how much fun blondes really can have.