The Profession Of Widowhood

The Profession of Widowhood explores how the idea of ‘true’ widowhood was central to pre-modern ideas concerning marriage and of female identity more generally. The medieval figure of the Christian vere vidua or “good” widow evolved from and reinforced ancient social and religious sensibilities of chastity, loyalty and grief as gendered ‘work.’ The ideal widow was a virtuous woman who mourned her dead husband in chastity, solitude, and most importantly, in perpetuity, marking her as “a widow indeed” (1 Tim 5:5). The widow who failed to display adequate grief fulfilled the stereotype of the ‘merry widow’ who forgot her departed spouse and abused her sexual and social freedom. Stereotypes of widows ‘good’ and ‘bad’ served highly-charged ideological functions in pre-modern culture, and have remained durable even in modern times, even as Western secular society now focuses more on a woman’s recovery from grief and possible re-coupling than the expectation that she remain forever widowed. The widow represented not only the powerful bond created by love and marriage, but also embodied the conventions of grief that ordered the response when those bonds were broken by premature death. This notion of the widow as both a passive memorial to her husband and as an active ‘rememberer’ was rooted in ancient traditions, and appropriated by early Christian and medieval authors who used “good” widowhood to describe the varieties of female celibacy and to define the social and gender order. A tradition of widowhood characterized by chastity, solitude, and permanent bereavement affirmed both the sexual mores and political agenda of the medieval Church. Medieval widows—both holy women recognized as saints and ‘ordinary women’ in medieval daily life—recognized this tradition of professed chastity in widowhood not only as a valuable strategy for avoiding remarriage and protecting their independence, but as a state with inherent dignity that afforded opportunities for spiritual development in this world and eternal merit in the next.

Mary finds a wonderful man, marries him and they build a life around each other. Meanwhile, meeting aspiring actress Coleen, she agrees to work in her new dress shop. Playing an Earls fiance, Coleen is required to corset herself down to twenty inches. Initially hating the constriction, she starts to love the feeling, the poise and her new sumptuous figure. Stage part over, her figure helps her to win Hollywood film parts. Mary finds that her own new corsetry entrances her husband. But the war and his Special Operations separate Mary from normality and death gives her a new profession: Widow. Marriage is for life but widowhood is not a life. Working in fashion, caring for a relative and having a young son is demanding. Months later, researching fabrics for leading stage productions, a psychic meeting, tight dress style and many admirers mean her single life is in the balance. This realisation takes her towards a second chance of committed love.

This new collection of essays brings together brand new research on widowhood in medieval and early modern Europe. The volume opens with an introductory chapter by the Editors which looks generally at the conditions and constructions of widowhood in this period. This is followed by a range of essays which illuminate different dimensions of widowhood across Europe - in England, Italy, France, Germany and Spain. A particular attraction of the volume is the attention given to widowers, and the comparisons made between the male and female experience of widowhood. It is an exciting reinterpretation of the subject which will do much to undo the traditional stereotype of the widow. Contributing to the volume are: Jodi Bilinkoff, Giulia Calvi, Sandra Cavallo, Isabelle Chabot, Julia Crick, Amy Erikson, Dagmar Freist, Elizabeth Foyster, Margaret Pelling, Pamela Sharpe,Tim Stretton, Barbara Todd, and Lyndan Warner.

"Widow" is one title women do not want to have. Yet, according to the Surgeon General’s office, 800,000 people become widows or widowers every year in the United States alone. Every aspect of a widow’s existence changes—like it or not, ready or not. These changes add to the emotional roller coaster that most women experience after losing their husband. Miriam Neff understands the ride. As she struggled to understand and accept her new role after her husband’s death, she recognized the need for women to hear from others about their experiences and what helped them transition to this new stage of life. From One Widow to Another offers practical advice for those facing the loss of a spouse. Drawing from her own loss, Neff walks with the reader through practical issues to a sense of encouragement.

NOT JUST FOR WIDOWS This book is beautiful for anyone who has lost someone so dear and so much a part of their lives that they become temporarily immobilized after their loss. For anyone wondering what they would do without that person, Widowhood is Not a Profession is for you. In this guide, author Oscar Lucy offers a poignant and empowering exploration of life after loss. This captivating memoir invites readers into the raw and honest journey of rebuilding after the unimaginable happens. When Oscar Lucy unexpectedly finds herself widowed, she is trust into a world she never imagined navigating alone. Suddenly faced with grief, loneliness and uncertainty, she grapples with the profound challenges of rebuilding her life from the ground up. But amidst the darkness, she discovers a resilience she never knew she possessed. Through heartfelt storytelling and candid reflection, Oscar Lucy share her intimate experience of widowhood and invites readers to walk on a journey of self discovery and transformation. As readers immerse themselves in the pages of "Widowhood is Not a Profession", they will discover that it is more than just a roadmap for navigating grief-- it's a celebration of love.

Guides readers through the emotions and practical concerns of finding love after the death of a partner. Romantic love, in all its permutations, forms one of the most fascinating of human interactions. It also can be one of life’s thorniest challenges, especially in a world where relationships often unfold online and, recently, where a pandemic barred face-to-face contact with people outside one’s immediate household. Among those seeking romance in increasing numbers is a group that stands apart: the women who, slammed by the death of a spouse, bravely pursue new love. Finding Love After Loss: A Relationship Roadmap for Widows goes to the trenches to interview widows who have embarked, nervously but with hope, on this quest. Their frank and revealing interviews, along with wisdom from relationship experts, provide guidance to other women trying to navigate the relationship scene when their last date might have been decades ago. Where do widows find new partners? How much should they share in their online profile? What do they tell their friends and family? What about getting naked for the first time with a new man? Who pays when the bill appears at a restaurant? More than any time in U.S. history, the country’s widows are seeking another chance at romance. The sheer number of widows—11 million, with an average age in the fifties—makes them a formidable force. They are living longer and have broader views on sex and money. Yet it is difficult for them to find their footing. Many of them have been away from the courtship arena for decades. They may make their return to dating with children and in-laws in tow. They are confused by the new rules and unclear on the expectations but convinced that they are capable of loving again. This book, written by a widow and a co-author who dated a widower, details just how powerful, sometimes daunting, and exhilarating the journey to new love can be. It also unveils the extraordinary ways that widows are reshaping the romance landscape: by tossing traditional marriage vows by the roadside, by skipping marriage entirely, or even by committing to a new partner but living apart. This isn’t your grandmother’s widowhood scene, not by a long shot. Finding Love After Loss examines the crazy, sad, and even zany contributions that people left behind by the death of a partner bring to new relationships. At the same time, it reveals both the amazing resilience of women who have lived through great loss and the irresistible pull of human connection.