The Psychology Of Secrets

On an MTV special aired in 2000, young interviewees were asked to confess the worse thing they were ever told during a romantic breakup. One person tearfully responded "that I suck in bed. " More recently, an acquaintance of mine admitted to his new girlfriend that he "has a mean streak. " She decided not to date him after that. Another memorable and painful example of openness occurred years ago when I served as a member of a suicide intervention team. I was called to a very disturbing scene in an upscale neighborhood to console a woman who was threaten ing to take her life on the lawn in front of her children. Her husband had just confessed his long-term affair to her that morning and she felt that her world was coming apart. Fortunately, she did not take her life but was left with the humiliation of haVing her neighbors know about her private troubles. The question these examples bring to mind is, "Why do people so often reveal potentially stigmatizing personal information to others?" The reader probably has an intuitive answer to this question already. It can seem like such a burden-even torture-to keep secrets from other people. Hiding such things as feelings of discontent from a boyfriend or girlfriend, violations of the law from close friends, and indiscretions from employers can be alienating. People want others to know them; therefore they often end up disclosing self-incriminating information.

The public revelation of what were once considered extremely private matters is becoming a new social norm. Has this movement toward openness gone too far? Are there negative consequences to revealing secrets? When and why is it helpful to reveal secrets? What can be done to alleviate the burden of secrecy? Will the anguish of keeping a secret pass in time? What factors should enter into deciding to reveal a secret? This book addresses these questions.

“If you’ve ever wondered why we keep secrets and what motivates us to spill them, look no further. Michael Slepian has spent the past decade studying the psychology of secrets, and is ready to reveal his findings to the world.”—Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again “The Secret Life of Secrets gracefully blends engaging stories with compelling science.”—Sonja Lyubomirsky, University of California professor and author of The How of Happiness Think of a secret that you’re keeping from others. It shouldn’t take long; behavioral scientist Michael Slepian finds that, on average, we are keeping as many as thirteen secrets at any given time. His research involving more than 50,000 participants from around the world shows that the most common secrets include lies we’ve told, ambitions, addictions, mental health challenges, hidden relationships, and financial struggles. Our secrets can weigh heavily upon us. Yet the burden of secrecy, Slepian argues, rarely stems from the work it takes to keep a secret hidden. Rather, the weight of our secrets comes from carrying them alone, without the support of others. Whether we are motivated to protect our reputation, a relationship, a loved one’s feelings, or some personal or professional goal, one thing is clear: Holding back some part of our inner world is often lonely and isolating. But The Secret Life of Secrets shows you that it doesn’t have to be. Filled with fresh insight into one of the most universal—yet least understood—aspects of human behavior, The Secret Life of Secrets sheds a fascinating new light on questions like: At what age do children develop the cognitive capacity for secrecy? Do all secrets come with the same mental load? How can we reconcile our secrets with our human desires to relate, connect, and be known? When should we confess our secrets? Who makes for the ideal confidant? And can keeping certain types of secrets actually enhance our well-being? Drawing on over a decade of original research, The Secret Life of Secrets reveals the surprising ways that secrets pervade our lives, and offers science-based strategies that make them easier to live with. The result is a rare window into the inner workings of our minds, our relationships, and our sense of who we are.

Collective Trauma and the Psychology of Secrets in Transnational Film advances a methodological line of inquiry based on a fresh insight into the ways in which cinematic meaning is generated and can be ascertained. Premised on a critical reading strategy informed by a metapsychology of secrets, the book features analyses of internationally acclaimed films—Guillermo del Torro’s Pan’s Labyrinth, Andrey Zvyagintsev’s The Return, Jee-woon Kim’s A Tale of Two Sisters, and Alejandro Amenábar’s The Others. It demonstrates how a rethinking of the figure of the secret in national film yields a new vantage point for examining heretofore unrecognized connections between collective historical experience, cinematic production and a transnational aesthetic of concealment and hiding.

The tenth-anniversary edition of the book that changed lives in profound ways, now with a new foreword and afterword. In 2006, a groundbreaking feature-length film revealed the great mystery of the universe—The Secret—and, later that year, Rhonda Byrne followed with a book that became a worldwide bestseller. Fragments of a Great Secret have been found in the oral traditions, in literature, in religions and philosophies throughout the centuries. For the first time, all the pieces of The Secret come together in an incredible revelation that will be life-transforming for all who experience it. In this book, you’ll learn how to use The Secret in every aspect of your life—money, health, relationships, happiness, and in every interaction you have in the world. You’ll begin to understand the hidden, untapped power that’s within you, and this revelation can bring joy to every aspect of your life. The Secret contains wisdom from modern-day teachers—men and women who have used it to achieve health, wealth, and happiness. By applying the knowledge of The Secret, they bring to light compelling stories of eradicating disease, acquiring massive wealth, overcoming obstacles, and achieving what many would regard as impossible.

Whether you have been experiencing manipulation for years, or if this is something entirely new, psychological manipulation can be tricky to decipher. Mostly because the manipulators themselves are true masters of emotional disguise. More often than not, their sweet talking covers their self-serving, dishonest, and, on the whole, sinister intentions. On top of this confusing mismatch of words and actions, they often try to evoke in their interlocutor powerful feelings of guilt or sympathy, so as to make them more susceptible to manipulation. They can be found anywhere, even in the places we frequent most. It could be your partner, your boss, your neighbor, a co-worker, a distant or close relative, or even a friend. We are talking about people who are masters of certain manipulation techniques and use them to confuse us. Although they are around us, it is not easy to detect these people. Their characteristics and personality traits are not evident. Nobody carries a sign on their foreheads, warning that they are a narcissist or sociopath. This book has all you might need to get ahead in life, economically, emotionally, or even socially. Within this ebook, we go through a variety of topics discussing and analyzing the dark psychology behind manipulation. Luckily, you can keep this from happening to YOU, if you know how... Here's just a small fraction of what this book contains: What dark psychology is and how it is used in the world today. Shockingly effective psychological techniques for manipulating, persuading, and influencing people. The basics of covert emotional situation and manipulations. Understanding the mechanism of emotional manipulation. All about hypnosis and how self-hypnosis differ from stage hypnosis. Proven verbal and non-verbal communication skills to enhance your manipulation prowess. How Neuro Linguistic Programming is used to change a person's entire thought process. Detecting manipulation in your everyday life and personal relationships, and strategies to safeguard against it. Clever techniques on ways to protect yourself from emotional manipulation. And much more... In this all-inclusive guide, you too can learn all you need to know about manipulation psychology. Not sure if you will be able to use it in practice? There's no worry! A series of scenarios and examples have also been included in this text to help you get the hang of pinpointing and understanding what emotional manipulation looks like in the real world. So if you want to keep your life and mind under your control then click "add to cart". ★★Get the Paperback and Receive the Kindle eBook for FREE★★

We think we know those who are close to us, and we want to believe that what we see is what we get. But we can never know for certain, because what really goes on inside another's head and heart is essentially a secret. How do you know if that secret is something that will hurt you? Your husband turns to face you in bed. Is he thinking about you or your closest friend? Your boss shows up in another new outfit. Did she get a raise or is she a compulsive shopper who is stealing money from the company? Your teenaged daughter is upstairs in her bedroom. Is she doing her homework or chatting online with a man twice her age? Anatomy of A Secret Life will take you inside the minds of secret-keepers and show you how secrets start, how they're kept, and how they exact their devastating emotional and social toll. Using contemporary case studies and historical examples, Dr. Gail Saltz shows you how to spot--through subtle behaviors and clues--and safely stop the potentially dangerous secrets that someone, even you, might be concealing from the world.

ÒBoys are emotionally illiterate and donÕt want intimate friendships.Ó In this empirically grounded challenge to our stereotypes about boys and men, Niobe Way reveals the intense intimacy among teenage boys especially during early and middle adolescence. Boys not only share their deepest secrets and feelings with their closest male friends, they claim that without them they would go Òwacko.Ó Yet as boys become men, they become distrustful, lose these friendships, and feel isolated and alone. Drawing from hundreds of interviews conducted throughout adolescence with black, Latino, white, and Asian American boys, Deep Secrets reveals the ways in which we have been telling ourselves a false story about boys, friendships, and human nature. BoysÕ descriptions of their male friendships sound more like Òsomething out of Love Story than Lord of the Flies.Ó Yet in late adolescence, boys feel they have to Òman upÓ by becoming stoic and independent. Vulnerable emotions and intimate friendships are for girls and gay men. ÒNo homoÓ becomes their mantra. These findings are alarming, given what we know about links between friendships and health, and even longevity. Rather than a Òboy crisis,Ó Way argues that boys are experiencing a Òcrisis of connectionÓ because they live in a culture where human needs and capacities are given a sex (female) and a sexuality (gay), and thus discouraged for those who are neither. Way argues that the solution lies with exposing the inaccuracies of our gender stereotypes and fostering these critical relationships and fundamental human skills.