The Resilient Self

An informative and inspiring guide to rebounding from childhood hardships to find uncommon strength and courage “The Resilient Self reminds us all of the importance of being aware of and building on the strengths of our young people, whatever their early life experiences. We must work to give them hope and to craft services and programs that are respectful of the resiliencies so thoughtfully characterized by the Wolins. This guide, although based on the experiences of adults, offers extremely useful insights too for those working on behalf of children and adolescents.”—Marian Wright Edelman, president, Children’s Defense Fund “This book offers a strong sense of hope for everyone who has grown up in a troubled family. I salute the authors for their masterful synthesis of research, clinical experiences, and insights gleaned from the voices of poetry. The Wolins’ book cautions the reader that no one emerges from troubled childhood without some scars, but it challenges us to finds ways in which we can transforms pain into joy in our lives.”—Emmy E. Werner, Ph.D., author of Vulnerable But Invincible and Overcoming the Odds “This marvelous book can turn the tide for people injured during their childhoods, not by ignoring the ashes of the past, but by winnowing out the precious elements from which the phoenix can triumphantly rise. It is a book that has been badly needed, and for which many will long be grateful.”—Timmen L. Cermak, M.D., former chairman, National Association for Children of Alcoholics “At last, a compassionate and realistic challenge to abandon the idea that one is a passive object of an unhappy childhood. The Resilient Self encourages readers to recognize and appreciate their strong, insightful, and creative survival.”—Barbara Mathis, author of Between Sisters: Secret Rivals, Intimate Friends “The Resilient Self shows adult children of dysfunctional families that they can escape a painful past and become resilient survivors. It describes the strategies which have been used successfully by those who grew up in troubled homes but who managed to work well, play well, and love well as adults. I recognized myself in this book with a survivor’s pride.”—Anonymous survivor

These days it’s hard to count on the world outside. So it’s vital to grow strengths inside like grit, gratitude, and compassion—the key to resilience, and to lasting well-being in a changing world. True resilience is much more than enduring terrible conditions. We need resilience every day to raise a family, work at a job, cope with stress, deal with health problems, navigate issues with others, heal from old pain, and simply keep on going. With his trademark blend of neuroscience, mindfulness, and positive psychology, New York Times bestselling author Dr. Rick Hanson shows you how to develop twelve vital inner strengths hardwired into your own nervous system. Then no matter what life throws at you, you’ll be able to feel less stressed, pursue opportunities with confidence, and stay calm and centered in the face of adversity. This practical guide is full of concrete suggestions, experiential practices, personal examples, and insights into the brain. It includes effective ways to interact with others and to repair and deepen important relationships. Warm, encouraging, and down-to-earth, Dr. Hanson’s step-by-step approach is grounded in the science of positive neuroplasticity. He explains how to overcome the brain’s negativity bias, release painful thoughts and feelings, and replace them with self-compassion, self-worth, joy, and inner peace.

The Resilient Self explores how international migration re-shapes women’s senses of themselves. Chien-Juh Gu uses life-history interviews and ethnographic observations to illustrate how immigration creates gendered work and family contexts for middle-class Taiwanese American women, who, in turn, negotiate and resist the social and psychological effects of the processes of immigration and settlement. Most of the women immigrated as dependents when their U.S.-educated husbands found professional jobs upon graduation. Constrained by their dependent visas, these women could not work outside of the home during the initial phase of their settlement. The significant contrast of their lives before and after immigration—changing from successful professionals to foreign housewives—generated feelings of boredom, loneliness, and depression. Mourning their lost careers and lacking fulfillment in homemaking, these highly educated immigrant women were forced to redefine the meaning of work and housework, which in time shaped their perceptions of themselves and others in the family, at work, and in the larger community.

Scientist/gardener Carol Deppe combines her passion for organic gardening with newly emerging scientific information from many fields — resilience science, climatology, climate change, ecology, anthropology, paleontology, sustainable agriculture, nutrition, health, and medicine. In the last half of The Resilient Gardener, Deppe extends and illustrates these principles with detailed information about growing and using five key crops: potatoes, corn, beans, squash, and eggs. In this book you’ll learn how to: •Garden in an era of unpredictable weather and climate change •Grow, store, and use more of your own staple crops •Garden efficiently and comfortably (even if you have a bad back) •Grow, store, and cook different varieties of potatoes and save your own potato seed •Grow the right varieties of corn to make your own gourmet-quality fast-cooking polenta, cornbread, parched corn, corn cakes, pancakes and even savory corn gravy •Make whole-grain, corn-based breads and cakes using the author’s original gluten-free recipes involving no other grains, artificial binders, or dairy products •Grow and use popbeans and other grain legumes •Grow, store, and use summer, winter, and drying squash •Keep a home laying flock of ducks or chickens; integrate them with your gardening, and grow most of their feed. The Resilient Gardener is both a conceptual and a hands-on organic gardening book, and is suitable for vegetable gardeners at all levels of experience. Resilience here is broadly conceived and encompasses a full range of problems, from personal hard times such as injuries, family crises, financial problems, health problems, and special dietary needs (gluten intolerance, food allergies, carbohydrate sensitivity, and a need for weight control) to serious regional and global disasters and climate change. It is a supremely optimistic as well as realistic book about how resilient gardeners and their vegetable gardens can flourish even in challenging times and help their communities to survive and thrive through everything that comes their way — from tomorrow through the next thousand years. Organic gardening, vegetable gardening, self-sufficiency, subsistence gardening, gluten-free living.

"The self-improvement industry puts the responsibility for change on us as individuals, producing few if any long-term changes in our health or happiness. Michael Ungar shows that individual growth depends very little on what we think, feel, or behave. He is one of the world's leading experts on thriving through adversity. Delving into the latest research, he demonstrates that we share responsibility for our personal well-being with our family and friends, and even our employers and politicians. In fact, the more the odds are stacked against us, the less motivation, positive thinking and grit are important to resilience and the more we benefit from an environment rich in opportunity. Ungar explores real people's lives and discovers that the answers lie in the people and the support systems around us. The good news is that it is easier to change your environment than it is to change yourself. Indeed, Ungar has solid evidence that we can influence the world around us in ways that will make us more resilient both at home and on the job. "--

How do some people bounce back with vigor from daily setbacks, professional crises, or even intense personal trauma? This book reveals the key traits of those who emerge stronger from challenges, helps you train your brain to withstand the stresses of daily life, and presents an approach to an effective career reboot. This volume includes the work of: Daniel Goleman Jeffrey A. Sonnenfeld Shawn Achor This collection of articles includes “How Resilience Works,” by Diane Coutu; “Resilience for the Rest of Us,” by Daniel Goleman; “How to Evaluate, Manage, and Strengthen Your Resilience,” by David Kopans; “Find the Coaching in Criticism,” by Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone; “Firing Back: How Great Leaders Rebound After Career Disasters,” by Jeffrey A. Sonnenfeld and Andrew J. Ward; and “Resilience Is About How You Recharge, Not How You Endure,” by Shawn Achor and Michelle Gielan. How to be human at work. The HBR Emotional Intelligence Series features smart, essential reading on the human side of professional life from the pages of Harvard Business Review. Each book in the series offers proven research showing how our emotions impact our work lives, practical advice for managing difficult people and situations, and inspiring essays on what it means to tend to our emotional well-being at work. Uplifting and practical, these books describe the social skills that are critical for ambitious professionals to master.

Therapists and other helping professionals, such as teachers, doctors and nurses, social workers, and clergy, work in highly demanding fields and can suffer from burnout, compassion fatigue, and secondary stress. This happens when they give more attention to their clients’ well being than their own. Both students and practitioners in these fields will find this book an essential guide to striking an optimal balance between self-care and other-care. The authors describe the joys and hazards of the work, the long road from novice to senior practitioner, the essence of burnout, ways to maintain the professional and personal self, methods experts use to maintain vitality, and a self-care action plan. Vivid real-life examples and self-reflection questions will engage and motivate readers to think about their own work and ways to enhance their own resilience. Eloquently written and supported by extensive research, helping professionals will find this a valuable resource both when a novice and when an experienced practitioner.

Prevent and counteract the general anxiety and emotional fragility prevalent in children and teenagers today—a new parenting philosophy and strategies that give children the tools to flourish on their own. “A master synthesizer of attachment science, medical practice, and his own experience as a father, Harold Koplewicz capably and compassionately leads us through the art of scaffolding, from early childhood through the important adolescent period.”—Daniel J. Siegel, MD, author of The Whole Brain Child Just as sturdy scaffolding is necessary when erecting a building and will come down when the structure grows stable, good parenting provides children with steady and warm emotional nourishment on the path toward independence. Never-ending parental problem-solving and involvement can have the opposite effect, enabling fragility and anxiety over time. In The Scaffold Effect, world-renowned child psychiatrist Harold Koplewicz introduces the powerful and clinically tested idea that this deliberate build-up and then gradual loosening of parental support is the single most effective way to encourage kids to climb higher, try new things, grow from mistakes, and develop character and strength. Explaining the building blocks of an effective scaffold from infancy through young adulthood, he expertly guides parents through the strategies for raising empowered, capable people, including: • Lay a solid foundation: The parent-child relationship needs to be made from the concrete mixture of emotional availability, positive reinforcement, clear messaging, and consistent rules. From this supportive base, your will forge a bond that will survive adolescence and grow stronger into adulthood. • Empower growth: Skyscraper or sprawling ranch—the style of your child’s construction is not up to you! Scaffold parenting validates and accommodates the shape the child is growing into. Any effort to block or control growth will actually stunt it. • Stay on their level: Imagine being on the ground floor of a house and trying to talk to someone on the roof. The person on the roof will have to “talk down” to you or yell. If your child’s building and your scaffold are on the same level, you can speak directly, look each other in the eye, and keep the lines of communication open. Drawing on Dr. Koplewicz’s decades of clinical and personal experience, The Scaffold Effect is a compassionate, street-smart, and essential guide for the ages. All of the author’s proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to the Child Mind Institute.