The Self Parenting Program

Core Guidelines for the Self-Parenting Practitioner.

SELF-PARENTING: The Complete Guide to Your Inner Conversations is the classic and original how-to book defining the concept of "self-parenting." Many of us grew up within a parental environment that did not support our childhood needs for love, support, and nurturing. As adults, we mentally continue the same patterns as an "Inner Parent" that left us feeling alone and abandoned as a child. By beginning the daily practice of positive Self-Parenting, the negative outer parenting patterns taught as a child (and subsequently internalized as an adult) can be recognized and reversed. The foundation of the SELF-PARENTING is the daily practice of the Self-Parenting Exercises, a thirty-minute session of cognitive interaction between the Inner Parent and Inner Child. During these daily half-hour sessions Illustrated In the book, the reader learns how to love, support, and nurture his or her Inner Child as well as increase their awareness of the profound implications of their Inner Conversations in the "real world."

There’s no such thing as a bad kid. That’s what a lifetime of experience has taught Dr. Stuart Shanker. No matter how difficult, out of control, distracted, or exhausted a child might seem, there’s a way forward: self-regulation. Overturning decades of conventional wisdom, this radical new technique allows children and the adults who care for them to regain their composure and peace of mind. Self-Reg is a groundbreaking book that presents an entirely new understanding of your child’s emotions and behavior and a practical guide for parents to help their kids engage calmly and successfully in learning and life. Grounded in decades of research and working with children and parents by Dr. Shanker, Self-Reg realigns the power of the parent-child relationship for positive change. Self-regulation is the nervous system’s way of responding to stress. We are seeing a generation of children and teens with excessively high levels of stress, and, as a result, an explosion of emotional, social, learning, behavior, and physical health problems. But few parents recognize the “hidden stressors” that their children are struggling with: physiological as well as social and emotional. An entrenched view of child rearing sees our children as lacking self-control or willpower, but the real basis for these problems lies in excessive stress. Self-regulation can dramatically improve a child’s mood, attention, and concentration. It can help children to feel empathy, and to cultivate the sorts of virtues that most parents know are vital for their child’s long-term wellbeing. Self-regulation brings about profound and lasting transformation that continues throughout life. Dr. Shanker translates decades of his findings from working with children into practical, prescriptive advice for parents, giving them concrete ways to develop their self-regulation skills and teach their children to do the same and engage successfully with life for optimal learning, social, and emotional growth.

Most children learn to stop throwing temper tantrums, lying, refusing to go to bed or take a bath at an early age. But some have trouble with impulsivity and self-control, problems that, if left unchecked, can lead to more serious long-term issues that can even cross the line into crime and delinquency. This book offers a sound and safe step-by-step program for heading off conflict and getting your child to cooperate. This step-by-step approach concentrates on the most common out-of-control behaviors the author has encountered in his extensive work with parents and children. It advises you on the finer points of effective discipline, including eye contact, body language, tone of voice, and word choice. You'll learn a uniquely effective strategy for managing an out-of-control child: the behavior contract. With this technique, you can establish clearly what you expect from your child and make clear the consequences when he or she does-or does not-exercise behavior control. With a little effort and patience and a lot of love, this guide will help you control and find peace with even the most defiant child.

Dr Pollard, creator and author of the Self-Parenting concept, provides a lifetime overview of insights and experience based on forty years of continuous daily practice of half-hour sessions of conscious Self-Parenting .

“Instead of trusting kids with choices . . . many parents insist on micromanaging everything from homework to friendships. For these parents, Stixrud and Johnson have a simple message: Stop.” —NPR “This humane, thoughtful book turns the latest brain science into valuable practical advice for parents.” —Paul Tough, New York Times bestselling author of How Children Succeed A few years ago, Bill Stixrud and Ned Johnson started noticing the same problem from different angles: Even high-performing kids were coming to them acutely stressed and lacking motivation. Many complained they had no control over their lives. Some stumbled in high school or hit college and unraveled. Bill is a clinical neuropsychologist who helps kids gripped by anxiety or struggling to learn. Ned is a motivational coach who runs an elite tutoring service. Together they discovered that the best antidote to stress is to give kids more of a sense of control over their lives. But this doesn't mean giving up your authority as a parent. In this groundbreaking book they reveal how you can actively help your child to sculpt a brain that is resilient, and ready to take on new challenges. The Self-Driven Child offers a combination of cutting-edge brain science, the latest discoveries in behavioral therapy, and case studies drawn from the thousands of kids and teens Bill and Ned have helped over the years to teach you how to set your child on the real road to success. As parents, we can only drive our kids so far. At some point, they will have to take the wheel and map out their own path. But there is a lot you can do before then to help them tackle the road ahead with resilience and imagination.