The Sibling Relationship

The bond siblings develop in childhood may be vastly different from the relationship that evolves in adulthood. Driven by affection but also characterized by ambivalence and ambiguity, adult sibling relationships can become hurtful, uncertain, competitive, or exhausting though the undercurrents of love and loyalty remain. An approach that recognizes the positive aspects of the changing sibling relationship, as well as those that need improvement, can restore healthy ties and rebuild family closeness. With in-depth case studies of more than 260 siblings over the age of forty and interviews with experts on mental health and family interaction, this book offers vital direction for traversing the emotional terrain of adult sibling relations. It pursues a richer understanding of ambivalence, a normal though little explored feeling among siblings, and how ambiguity about the past or present can lead to miscommunication and estrangement. For both professionals and general readers, this book clarifies the most confounding elements of sibling relationships and provides specific suggestions for realizing new, productive avenues of friendship in middle and later life—skills that are particularly important for siblings who must cooperate to care for aging parents or give immediate emotional or financial support to other siblings or family members.

This book explores the interpersonal world of sibling relationships, explaining how these relationships are central to the development of the psyche of the individual, of the group, of society and of the organisation. Sibling Relations and the Horizontal Axis in Theory and Practice considers four key areas: sibling relations, sibling trauma, the law of the mother and the horizontal axis. The contributors journey through examples from the psychological, philosophical, organisational, social and cultural realms, giving a new perspective on the psychic world and the importance of sibling relationships as an empowering and therapeutic component for building relationships. While we are used to looking at the individual, the group and at society through the vertical, hierarchical relationship that results from parent–child relationships, this book discusses and reveals the impact of the horizontal axis. Sibling Relations and the Horizontal Axis in Theory and Practice will be important reading for psychoanalysts, group analysts and psychoanalytic psychotherapists in practice and in training.

For this volume, the author has brought together a group of distinguished writers to explore a wide range of issues affecting sibling relationships. This exciting collection of papers addresses a long neglected subject in psychoanalytic thinking. Since Sigmund Freud, psychoanalytic attention has focused firmly on the Oedipal triangle and as a consequence sibling relationships have languished in virtual oblivion. In recent years the importance of siblings has started to be investigated but we are still at the beginning of formulating theory on this subject. This book raises fascinating issues for therapists who are forging new forms of thought on the interplay of sibling relationships.Contributors: Leonore Davidoff; R.D. Hinshelwood; Vivienne Lewin; Juliet Mitchell; Elspeth Morley; Estelle Roith; Margaret Rustin; Michael Rustin; Jennifer Silverstone; Harriet Thistlethwaite; and Gary Winship.

The most long-lasting and enduring relationship an individual can develop is with a sibling. Considering the closeness in age and early association of siblings, they can bond for a lifetime. Psychologists are beginning to appreciate the sibling link and its dynamic role in a child's social development. Beyond the mother-child dyad, sibling associations are now attributed with determining cognitive faculties, emotional balance, self-sufficiency, and peer interactions. Clarifying the complex processes of these relationships and the benefit of parental involvement, Avidan Milevsky provides a foundational text for a growing area of study. Deploying personal narrative, theoretical examinations, and empirical data, he unravels the intricacies of the sibling exchange and their function in overall family structures. He identifies the factors that make such bonds successful (or harmful) and the influence of parents in shaping these outcomes. He also evaluates the compensatory possibilities of the sibling bond when faced with the absence of a parent or friend. Variables such as age, birth order, gender, and family size are tremendous considerations, and parents hoping to enhance the sibling bond gain immensely from understanding these predictors. Milevsky shows practitioners how to educate parents and help them apply their knowledge in practice. He particularly supplies crucial perspective on "deidentification," or conscious differentiation, in which parents encourage different life paths to minimize sibling comparison and competition. A major tool for clinicians, social service providers, and educators, this book clarifies the next frontier in child development research.

When one begins to examine the existing literature dealing with siblings, one soon becomes aware that many separate domains of sibling research exist and that there is little connection between them; for example, sibling relationships in early childhood, genetic and environmental influences on individual differences between siblings, dysfunctional sibling relation ships, adult sibling helping relationships, sibling violence and abuse, and so on. The author's aim in writing this book was to attempt to bring together for the first time studies from diverse areas of sibling research into a single volume. The book is a summary and integration of the various domains of sibling studies, extending across the life span where studies exist to make this possible. Although many gaps in the sibling research literature within and between domains of study and over the life span still exist, it is hoped that this book will motivate others to help fill in the gaps by suggesting direc tions where further research is needed.

A warm, empathetic guide to understanding, coping with, and healing from the unique pain of sibling estrangement "Whenever I tell people that I am working on a book about sibling estrangement, they sit up a little straighter and lean in, as if I've tapped into a dark secret." Fern Schumer Chapman understands the pain of sibling estrangement firsthand. For the better part of forty years, she had nearly no relationship with her only brother, despite many attempts at reconnection. Her grief and shame were devastating and isolating. But when she tried to turn to others for help, she found that a profound stigma still surrounded estrangement, and that very little statistical and psychological research existed to help her better understand the rift that had broken up her family. So she decided to conduct her own research, interviewing psychologists and estranged siblings as well as recording the extraordinary story of her own rift with her brother--and subsequent reconciliation. Brothers, Sisters, Strangers is the result--a thoughtfully researched memoir that illuminates both the author's own story and the greater phenomenon of estrangement. Chapman helps readers work through the challenges of rebuilding a sibling relationship that seems damaged beyond repair, as well as understand when estrangement is the best option. It is at once a detailed framework for understanding sibling estrangement, a beacon of solidarity and comfort for the estranged, and a moving memoir about family trauma, addiction, grief, and recovery.

First published in 1982. Since the emergence of developmental psychology early this century, theorists and researchers have emphasized the family’s role in shaping the child’s emergent social style, personality, and cognitive competence. In so doing, however, psychologists have implicitly adopted a fairly idiosyncratic definition of the family— one that focuses almost exclusively on parents and mostly on mothers. The realization that most families contain two parents and at least two children has occurred slowly, and has brought with it recognition that children develop in the context of a diverse network of social relationships within which each person may affect every other both directly (through their interactions) and indirectly (i.e., through A ’s effect on B, who in turn influences C). The family is such a social network, itself embedded in a broader network of relations with neighbors, relatives, and social institutions. Within the family, relationships among siblings have received little attention until fairly recently. In this volume, the goal is to review the existing empirical and theoretical literature concerning the nature and importance of sibling relationships.

Reviewing current literature on sibling relationships as well as proposing alternative theoretical perspectives, this book discusses who constitutes a sibling and explores how children understand their sibling relationships.