The Surprising Secrets Of Highly Happy Marriages

“Where does ‘highly happy’ come from—and can we have some too?!” Have you ever looked at a blissfully married couple and thought, I wish I could know their secret? Now you can. After years of investigative research, Shaunti reveals twelve powerful habits that the happiest marriages have in common. Best news of all? Anyone can learn the secrets of a highly happy marriage! In The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, Shaunti Feldhahn shares her findings about little, very unexpected, often overlooked actions that make a huge difference. You’re about to discover that highly happy couples: • Go to bed mad • Keep score (just not in the way you think) • Boss their feelings around • Have factual fantasies • Get in over their heads • Don’t tell it like it is • Don’t look to marriage to make them happy… Packed with eye-opening research and practical helps, this book delivers relationship insights that will take your marriage from “just fine” to “just the marriage we’ve always wanted.”

“Where does ‘highly happy’ come from—and can we have some too?!” Have you ever looked at a blissfully married couple and thought, I wish I could know their secret? Now you can. After years of investigative research, Shaunti reveals twelve powerful habits that the happiest marriages have in common. Best news of all? Anyone can learn the secrets of a highly happy marriage! In The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, Shaunti Feldhahn shares her findings about little, very unexpected, often overlooked actions that make a huge difference. You’re about to discover that highly happy couples: • Go to bed mad • Keep score (just not in the way you think) • Boss their feelings around • Have factual fantasies • Get in over their heads • Don’t tell it like it is • Don’t look to marriage to make them happy… Packed with eye-opening research and practical helps, this book delivers relationship insights that will take your marriage from “just fine” to “just the marriage we’ve always wanted.”

Divorce is not the biggest threat to marriage. Discouragement is. You’ve probably heard the grim facts: Half of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate inside the church is the same as outside. Most marriages are just holding on. But what if these “facts” are actually myths? In The Good News About Marriage, best-selling author Shaunti Feldhahn presents groundbreaking research that reveals the shocking, incredibly inspiring truth: · The actual divorce rate has never gotten close to 50 percent. · Those who attend church regularly have a significantly lower divorce rate than those who don’t. · Most marriages are happy. · Simple changes make a big difference in most marriage problems. · Most remarriages succeed. For too long, our confidence in marriage has been undermined by persistent misunderstandings and imperfect data. This landmark book will radically change how we think and talk about marriage—and what we can dare to hope from it. “Shaunti takes aim at marriage myths that have spread like a cancer through our culture–myths that have become self-fulfilling prophecies. This book is packed with game-changing revelations. Like this one: Not only are most people staying married, they are happy in their marriages!” –Emerson Eggerichs, best-selling author of Love and Respect

What's going on in a man's mind? Feldhahn's research reveals the inner lives of men and will open women's eyes to what the men in their life are really thinking and feeling.

Therapists Charlie and Linda Bloom have been married more than thirty-five years. Over a two-year period, they interviewed twenty-seven couples who had been together for an average of thirty years and seemed as happy as newlyweds. Were they just lucky? The Blooms found that these couples had faced real challenges — difficulties with children and stepchildren, war wounds, infidelity, and financial ruin. They also found that with loving dialogue and open hearts, the couples had found ways to heal, grow, and deepen their commitment through, and not despite, their challenges. The Blooms distill this real-world wisdom into practical, positive actions any couple can take to achieve or regain not just a good marriage but a great one.

Based on data obtained from nearly 100,000 respondents, here is the ultimate resource for anyone who wants to learn the relationship-tested ways couples can achieve satisfaction and contentment in areas such as communication, sex, affection, and financial cooperation. What constitutes “normal” behavior among happy couples? What steps you should take if that “normal” is one you want to strive for? To help answer those questions, wellness entrepreneur Chrisanna Northrup teamed with two of America’s top sociologists, Yale Ph.D. Pepper Schwartz and Harvard Ph.D. James Witte, to design a unique interactive survey that would draw feedback from around the world. What has resulted is the clearest picture yet of how well couples are communicating, romancing each other, satisfying each other in the bedroom, sharing financial responsibilities, and staying faithful – or not. Since the Normal Bar survey methodology sorts for age and gender, racial and geographic differences and sexual preferences, the authors are able to reveal , for example, what happens to passion as we grow older, which gender wants what when it comes to sex, the factors that spur marital combat, how kids figure in, how being gay or bisexual turns out to be both different and the same, and –regardless of background -- the tiny habits that drive partners absolutely batty. The book is dense with revelations, from the unexpected popularity of certain sexual positions, to the average number of times happy – and unhappy -- couples kiss, to the prevalence of lying, to the surprising loyalty most men and women feel for their partner (even when in a deteriorating relationship), to the vivid and idiosyncratic ways individuals of different ages, genders and nationalities describe their “ideal romantic evening.” Much more than a peek behind the relationship curtain, The Normal Bar offers readers an array of prescriptive tools that will help them establish a “new normal.” Mindful of what keeps couples stuck in ruts, the book’s authors suggest practical and life-changing ways to break cycles of disappointment and frustration.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Power couple Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue have created a compelling and intimate collection of intriguing conversations with famous couples about their enduring marriages and how they have made them last through the challenges we all share. What makes a marriage last? Who doesn’t want to know the answer to that question? To unlock this mystery, iconic couple Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue crisscrossed the country and conducted intimate conversations with forty celebrated couples whose long marriages they’ve admired—from award-winning actors, athletes, and newsmakers to writers, comedians, musicians, and a former U.S. president and First Lady. Through these conversations, Marlo and Phil also revealed the rich journey of their own marriage. What Makes a Marriage Last offers practical and heartfelt wisdom for couples of all ages, and a rare glimpse into the lives of husbands and wives we have come to know and love. Marlo and Phil’s frequently funny, often touching, and always engaging conversations span the marital landscape—from that first rush of new love to keeping that precious spark alive, from navigating hard times to celebrating triumphs, from balancing work and play and family to growing better and stronger together. At once intimate, candid, revelatory, hilarious, instructive, and poignant, this book is a beautiful gift for couples of every age and stage. Featuring interviews with: Alan and Arlene Alda • Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick President Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter • James Carville and Mary Matalin Deepak and Rita Chopra • Patricia Cornwell and Staci Gruber Bryan Cranston and Robin Dearden • Billy and Janice Crystal Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest • Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen Viola Davis and Julius Tennon • Gloria and Emilio Estefan Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan • Chip and Joanna Gaines Sanjay and Rebecca Gupta • Mariska Hargitay and Peter Hermann Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka • Ron and Cheryl Howard Jesse and Jacqueline Jackson • Elton John and David Furnish John and Justine Leguizamo • LL COOL J and Simone I. Smith Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone • John McEnroe and Patty Smyth Mehmet and Lisa Oz • Rodney and Holly Robinson Peete Letty Cottin Pogrebin and Bert Pogrebin • Rob and Michele Reiner Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos • Al Roker and Deborah Roberts Ray and Anna Romano • Tony Shalhoub and Brooke Adams Judges Judy and Jerry Sheindlin • George Stephanopoulos and Ali Wentworth Sting and Trudie Styler • Capt. Chesley “Sully” and Lorrie Sullenberger Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner • Judith and Milton Viorst Judy Woodruff and Al Hunt • Bob Woodward and Elsa Walsh

While observing trainers of exotic animals, journalist Amy Sutherland had an epiphany: What if she used their techniques with the human animals in her own life–specifically her dear husband, Scott? As Sutherland put training principles into action, she noticed that not only did her twelve-year-old marriage improve, but she herself became more optimistic and less judgmental. What started as a goofy experiment had such good results that Sutherland began using the training techniques with all the people in her life, including her mother, her friends, her students, even the clerk at the post office. Full of fun facts, fascinating insights, hilarious anecdotes, and practical tips, What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage reveals the biggest lesson Sutherland learned: The only animal you can truly change is yourself.