The Trump Bible

What is the Trump Bible? Just as President Thomas Jefferson wrote his own version of the Holy Bible, so there appears to be a new version of the Bible that's in accord with the ideology of Donald Trump. That's not to say that Donald Trump wrote the Trump Bible. Who wrote the Trump Bible, then? This book is shrouded in mystery. There is no evidence that Donald Trump wrote the Trump Bible, but then, religion is about faith, not evidence. The manuscript for the Trump Bible was found wrapped in plain brown paper on the sidewalk outside Trump Tower in Manhattan by Peregrin Wood of Irregular Times. He is publishing the book, but does not claim authorship. For legal clarity, we are stating clearly that Donald Trump did not write the Trump Bible, although parts of it seem to be written using his voice, as divine inspiration, perhaps. There are heretics out there who will assert their own beliefs about who wrote the Trump Bible, though. Maybe God Himself wrote it, as a new new testament, inspired by Donald Trump's example. Why not? Are we supposed to take the Trump Bible seriously? Well, are we supposed to take Donald Trump seriously? What's the line between satire and fawning imitation? In these days of alternative facts and fake news, you'll have to decide for yourself. Maybe this book is comedy. Maybe it's tragedy. Certainly it's a postmodern self-referential hippie fest of moral relativity, satirizing satire itself. How can my church join the movement to ban the Trump Bible? Please go to IrregularTimes.com, where you can sign up for the campaign to censor the Trump Bible as a piece of illegal blasphemy. After all, if we can't ban books in the Christian nation of the USA, where can we ban books? How dare you blaspheme our lord and savior? We're not sure if this question refers to Donald Trump or Jesus Christ. But to answer your question - how do we do it - we use a keyboard and the sacred power of the Internet. The Trump Bible may be thought of as an allegorical confrontation of an uncomfortable fact: The majority of Trump voters in 2016 were Christian, and the overwhelming majority of Christian voters in the USA voted for Donald Trump. So, Trumpism and Christianity appear to be blending into something new, a strange, aggressive theocratic chimera the likes of which Americans have never seen before. Straight commentary can only get us so far in an attempt to understand this development. As American Christians appear to be questioning the basic tenets of their religion, a new Bible that reflects their views, and the unique character of Donald Trump as the leader of not only the Republican Party, but also of American Christianity, could move the discussion forward into a more positive... Oh, who are we kidding? Probably, the Trump Bible is only going to add to the polarization at the heart of American culture. C'est la guerre! Onward Christian soldiers, marching off to war!

A “witty and accessible look at Scripture” that explores what the Bible meant before two millennia of mistranslations and misinterpretations (Publishers Weekly, starred review). In this fascinating book, acclaimed translator and biblical scholar Dr. Joel M. Hoffman walks the reader through dozens of mistranslations, misconceptions, and other misunderstandings about the Bible. In forty short, straightforward chapters, he covers morality, lifestyle, theology, and biblical imagery, including: The Bible doesn’t call homosexuality a sin, and doesn’t advocate for the one-man-one-woman model of the family that has been dubbed “biblical.” The Bible’s famous “beat their swords into plowshares” is matched by the militaristic “beat your plowshares into swords.” The often-cited New Testament quotation “God so loved the world” is a mistranslation, as are the titles “Son of Man” and “Son of God.” The Ten Commandments don’t prohibit killing or coveting. What does the Bible say about violence? About the Rapture? About keeping kosher? About marriage and divorce? Hoffman provides answers to all of these and more, succinctly explaining how so many pivotal biblical answers came to be misunderstood.

The Bible you usually read is not the complete story. Some holy writings were left out for political or theological reasons, others simply because of the physical restrictions of ancient bookmaking technology. At times, the compilers of the Bible skipped information that they assumed everyone knew. Some passages were even omitted by accident. In The Bible's Cutting Room Floor, acclaimed author and translator Dr. Joel M. Hoffman gives us the stories and other texts that didn't make it into the Bible even though they offer penetrating insight into the Bible and its teachings. The Book of Genesis tells us about Adam and Eve's time in the Garden of Eden, but not their saga after they get kicked out or the lessons they have for us about good and evil. The Bible introduces us to Abraham, but it doesn't include the troubling story of his early life, which explains how he came to reject idolatry to become the father of monotheism. And while there are only 150 Psalms in today's Bible, there used to be many more. Dr. Hoffman deftly brings these and other ancient scriptural texts to life, exploring how they offer new answers to some of the most fundamental and universal questions people ask about their lives. An impressive blend of history, linguistics, and religious scholarship, The Bible's Cutting Room Floor reveals what's missing from your Bible, who left it out, and why it is so important.

50 Bible passages are reimagined as speeches or rants barfed up by moron-in-chief President Donald J. Trump! Hilarious! Great! Greater! The Greaterest! For instance, THE CREATION OF THE WORLD: First I made the world and it was really great. So great. And huge. It was the first huge round thing anyone had ever made. I took the bad hombres from the sky and made so much light. Lights on! I said, and the sky did what I said. I made the Trump water. Perfect water. Hydrogen, oxygen, the whole thing. It's for sale everywhere. I took the ugly fat women who accuse me of huge unbelievable lies and I made them into rhinos. I made the first woman my daughter Ivanka. Isn't she beautiful? I gave her great legs. I love legs on a woman. I was the first man. The first great man. I am still the first great man.

What should Christians think about Donald Trump? His policies, his style, his personal life? Thirty evangelical Christians (listed below) wrestle with these tough questions. They are Republicans, Democrats, and Independents. They don't all agree, but they seek to let Christ be the Lord of their political views. They seek to apply biblical standards to difficult debates about our current political situation. Vast numbers of white evangelicals enthusiastically support Donald Trump. Do biblical standards on truth, justice, life, freedom, and personal integrity warrant or challenge that support? How does that support of President Trump affect the image of Christianity in the larger culture? Around the world? Many younger evangelicals today are rejecting evangelical Christianity, even Christianity itself. To what extent is that because of widespread evangelical support for Donald Trump? Don't read this book to find support for your views. Read it to be challenged--with facts, reason, and biblical principles. With contributions from: Michael W. Austin Randall Balmer Vicki Courtney Daniel Deitrich Samuel Escobar John Fea Irene Fowler Mark Galli J. Colin Harris Stephen R. Haynes Matt Henderson Christopher A. Hutchinson Bandy X. Lee David S. Lim David C. Ludden Ryan McAnnally-Linz Steven Meyer Napp Nazworth D. Zac Niringiye Christopher Pieper Reid Ribble Ronald J. Sider Edward G. Simmons James R. Skillen James W. Skillen Julia K. Stronks Chris Thurman Miroslav Volf Peter Wehner George Yancey

[T]his big, bold, beautiful King James Bible is sure to be a crowd pleaser. The inside is adorned with a beautifully laid out title page, President Trump's Presidential Portrait, and a copy of Executive Order Executive Order 13798 of May 4, 2017 entitled Promoting Free Speech and Religious Liberty. The front cover photo is the iconic White House photograph taken of Trump holding up the Bible in front of Ashburton House, the Parish house of St. John's Episcopal Church which was torched by protestors in Washington, D.C. during the "Summer of Love" in 2020. 700 pages, 8 x 10 KJV.Limited First Edition of 500 copies World-wide.

In a rapidly changing culture, many of us struggle to talk about faith. We can no longer assume our friends understand words such as grace or gospel. Others, like lost and sin, have become so negative they are nearly conversation-enders. Jonathan Merritt knows this frustration well. After moving from the Bible Belt to New York City, he discovered that the sacred terms he used to describe his spiritual life didn’t connect as they had in the past. This launched him into an exploration of an increasing American reluctance to talk about faith—and the data he uncovered revealed a quiet crisis of affecting millions. In this groundbreaking book, Jonathan revives ancient expressions through incisive cultural commentary, vulnerable personal narratives, and surprising biblical insights. Both provocative and liberating, Learning to Speak God from Scratch will breathe new life into your spiritual conversations and invite you into the embrace of the God who inhabits them.

Based on extensive inside sources, including exclusive interviews with the President and Vice President, The Faith of Donald J. Trump explores his rarely discussed, but deeply important, religious beliefs and relationships with leading Evangelicals. The Chief Political Correspondent for the Christian Broadcasting Network and the "Jesus in the Public Square" columnist for the Washington Times explore the rarely discussed, but deeply important, religious beliefs and worldview of Donald J. Trump and his advisors. Donald J. Trump was raised as a Presbyterian and has praised both Christianity and the primacy of the Bible. In the Oval Office, he has surrounded himself with close advisors who share his deep faith. In this deeply reported book, David Brody and Scott Lamb draw on unparalleled access to the White House to explain President Trump’s connection to the Christian faith, the evangelical right, the prosperity gospel, and the pressing moral and ethical issues of our day. In part, the authors argue, President Trump won over evangelicals not by pandering to them, but by supporting them and all their most important issues without pretending to be something he’s not. Though the forty-fifth president is far from the perfect vessel—he has been married three times—his supporters argue that Donald Trump may be just what America needs. This book reveals how he has surrounded himself with believers who think he is the one guiding figure who can return us to the traditional values—hard work, discipline, duty, respect, and faith—that have long been the foundation of American life, and truly make America great again in all ways.