The Unofficial United Methodist Handbook For Pastors

Following Jesus is hard to do – but even harder if we take ourselves too seriously. The Unofficial United Methodist Handbook is the indispensable companion for anyone trying to live a committed Christian life, with a healthy dose of humor. Timeless biblical truths stand alongside everyday life situations that everyone meets, with step-by-step instructions that make the going easy: How to Stay Alert in Church How to Identify an Angel (with diagram) How to Survive for One Hour in an Un-Air-Conditioned Church How to Share Your Faith with Someone How to Identify and Avoid Evil How to Survive an Old Testament Plague How to Memorize a Bible Verse Common Christian Symbols and What They Mean What Is Unique about The United Methodist Church and Its History …plus dozens of other illustrations, maps, diagrams, and essential tips! This unique and incredibly handy resource is perfect for United Methodist youth, adults, students, families, and all those interested in learning about life in the church.

A very handy handbook that provides amazingly essential information and practical tips every pastor needs to know, delivered with brevity and a good sense of humor. Be prepared to laugh as you try to keep hold of the reins--like the circuit rider of yesteryear. The Unofficial United Methodist Handbook for Pastors gives serious information and practical tips to uplift your spirit and warm your heart. Like The Unofficial United Methodist Handbook for the well-informed churchgoer, this handbook for pastors illustrates timeless biblical truths in everyday living, making life easier--and much more entertaining. This book captures all the essential information every pastor needs close at hand to prevail in any circumstance, and have a good and well-needed chuckle along the way: · How to Support and Empower the Church Council without Becoming a Dictator or a Wallflower · How to Know if You're Called to Be a Pastor · Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Church Member · How to Recover from Christmas and Easter Overload · How to Preach a Stewardship Sermon without Sounding Like You Are Begging for a Raise · How to Keep Both Your Job and Your Family · How to Use Your Family Members as Sermon Illustrations without Alienating Them or Boring the Congregation · How to Retire from Ministry Gracefully · What is unique about United Methodist Ministry ...plus dozens of other illustrations, maps, diagrams, and essential tips! This unique and incredibly handy resource is perfect for United Methodist ministers and all who help lead congregations. View the Table of Contents

Written especially for licensing schools and the United Methodist Course of Study, this book of firsts will see pastors through those uncertain early days in ministry. Some of the firsts include: first sermon, first service, first baptism, first Communion, first challenge of pastoral authority, first Church Council meeting, first visit to dying person, first funeral, first wedding, first charge conference, first D.S., first move, first colleague, first bad cold (what do I do if I get sick on Saturday night?), first person who doesn't like you, first vacation, first day off, first non-required book, first parsonage, first bishop, first social justice issue, first tradition you challenge, first nominations meeting, first record-keeping, first funeral director, first sexual temptation, first opportunity for community service, first schedule conflict, first school pressure, first personal family issue, first bulletin or projected material, first bishop, first fund-raising, first stewardship campaign, first personal devotions, first burn-out, first counseling session, first challenge to Discipline, first connectional meeting, first meeting with Board of Ordained Ministry, first robe or alb, first new clothes, first paying of bills, first theological conflict, first Bible study, first revival, first dealing with groupie, first major snafu, first retirement plan decision, first electronic communication.

Ministry Makeover examines the decline within the church, especially the United Methodist Church (UMC), and some causes for this decline. It calls for a reforming of United Methodist structure and polity by drawing more attention to the value of the bi-vocational model of ministry and a re-visitation of the Wesleyan/United Brethren view and historical perspective. This book establishes a solid theological foundation upon which to build this shift and it goes a step beyond typical ecclesiology (the study of the church) to identify Trinitarian theology as the basis for the practice of the church. In turn, this text reveals bi-vocational ministry and support of new congregations as not only a viable option, but also arguably the model towards which the church is heading. These insights will transform the church and lead to more effective church ministry with respect to resources, structure, and reach in a post-Christendom world context. Picardo uses Embrace Church (Lexington, KY) as a case study, and incorporates his experiences into this text in order to show how these implications have played out in a true bi-vocational, church-plant context.

A solid family life will help pastors focus and attentively minister to the needs of their congregation.Pastors often struggle with conflicting expectations. The most painful of these conflicts is between the expectations of their congregations, and the needs of their families. They must, at the same moment, be available to parishioners and carve out private family time. Belton Joyner knows that often the best therapy for pastors caught in this dilemma is to laugh at it. With humorous illustrations and light-hearted straight talk, he helps pastors understand their own family dynamics, the role their families play in the life of the church, and how to be an effective minister of the gospel AND a responsible spouse and parent, while living in a fishbowl.

Pastors will keep this book--its hints, its chuckles, its struggles--close at hand. You never know when you'll get one of those dreaded questions. They are always just around the corner. Even when things are going swimmingly for the pastor, a these dreaded questions are waiting in the wings. They might come from a tear-stained child , a gruff, "You'll have to show me" member, or from a desperate Sunday School teacher. The zinger comes and the pastor, aware that two thousand years of Christian thought have not generated a simple "I'm glad you asked" answer, most respond. The dreaded ten: (1) Is my Jewish neighbor going to hell? (2) Why did God let my kitten, Fluffy, die? (3) What do you mean, you changed the light bulb that Grandma gave the church? (4) Why doesn't your wife sing in the choir? (5) Who are you going to vote for, Reverend? (6) Why are you leaving us for another church? Don't you like us? (7) Why do you pick hymns no one knows? (8) Why do we keep sending off money for missions? (9) Why can't we use Christmas red on the altar table during December? (10) Are all "acts of God" acts of God?F. Belton Joyner Jr. is a retired United Methodist pastor and author of The Unofficial UM Handbooks and Being Methodist in the Bible Belt: A Theological Survival Guide for Youth, Parents, and Other Confused Methodists and many other books. Currently, he is a visiting lecturer at Duke Divinity School and member of Judicial Council of The United Methodist Church. He lives in Bahama, North Carolina.

Koehler engages and guides inquirers and church members in the meaning of membership in The United Methodist Church. For both clergy and laity.

This helpful United Methodist denominational book of liturgy, prayer, services and service music is indispensable for pastors, musicians, and laypersons that plan and lead worship. Arranged according to the Christian year, this resource enables worship leaders to locate prayers, services, and information quickly. Updated information and new formats insure ease of use, making this a great resource when planning worship.. It features: A vast collection of worship material: services, liturgies, litanies, prayers, blessings, music, and other acts of worship and praise. Thousands of references to The United Methodist Hymnal, including suggested hymns for a host of worship occasions. Resources for special Sundays and other days of churchwide emphasis. New Christian Years Services Services for various occasions including: Presentation of Bibles to Children An Order of Farewell to Pastor Orders of Installation or Recognition Orders of Daily Praise and Prayer Updates include: Membership vows, baptismal covenant, diaconal changes, and other updates made as a result of General Conference action. Calendar for dating Easter and related holy days—extend beyond 2020. Chart of lectionary years on page 227--update and extend. Current version of ordinal. eBook Edition allows you download a digital file of full text of The Book of Worship to your eReader for personal use.