They Re Not Listening

When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you? "If you’re like most people, you don’t listen as often or as well as you’d like. There’s no one better qualified than a talented journalist to introduce you to the right mindset and skillset—and this book does it with science and humor." -Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Originals and Give and Take **Hand picked by Malcolm Gladwell, Adam Grant, Susan Cain, and Daniel Pink for Next Big Ideas Club** "An essential book for our times." -Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation. On social media, we shape our personal narratives. At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians. We’re not listening. And no one is listening to us. Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here. In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that's full of practical advice, You're Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.

The election of Donald Trump in America and the referendum on European Union membership in the United Kingdom, otherwise known as Brexit, sent shockwaves throughout the world. Cosmopolitan elites across the globe never saw this populist uprising coming and still do not understand it. People across the globe have been increasingly voting for national-populist politicians over the last twenty years. The current nationalist-populist revolt started long before Donald Trump came down his golden escalator, and even before Prime Minister David Cameron agreed to hold a referendum vote on the EU. It wasn’t isolated to rundown towns in Northern England or the Midwest, and it wasn’t solely because of demographic changes, ignorance, intolerance, or a “whitelash.” It was occurring because the elites chose to ignore voters’ concerns when it came to globalism and neoliberalism. Issues like mass immigration, war, economic inequality, and national sovereignty were sacrosanct to neoliberals, and ultimately, their unwillingness to concede on these issues built discontent among millions of people.

This is the frank account of a woman trying to help 5 emotionally disturbed youngsters.

The Listening Book is about rediscovering the power of listening as an instrument of self-discovery and personal transformation. By exploring our capacity for listening to sounds and for making music, we can awaken and release our full creative powers. Mathieu offers suggestions and encouragement on many aspects of music-making, and provides playful exercises to help readers appreciate the connection between sound, music, and everyday life.

Active Listening is a short 1957 work by Drs. Carl R. Rogers and Richard E. Farson, two influential American psychologists. The work brings the counselling technique of active listening to the layperson, demonstrating how it can be applied to interactions between an employee and employer. Carl R. Rogers (1902-1987) was one of the pioneers of the "client-centered" approach to psychotherapy. He is considered one of the founding fathers of modern psychotherapy research and is widely regarded among others in the field as the most influential psychotherapist of all time - viewed even more highly than Sigmund Freud. Dr. Rogers served as a professor of psychology at the University of Chicago, where he set up the university's counselling and research clinic, the Industrial Relations Center. He wrote many books on psychotherapy, and in later years, travelled the world to bring his theories to areas of great political and social strife like Northern Ireland, South Africa, and Brazil. Richard E. Farson (1926-2017) had already completed his bachelor's and master's degrees when he met Dr. Rogers in 1949. Dr. Rogers invited Farson to continue his studies with him at the University of Chicago. Farson became Dr. Rogers' research assistant while he completed his Ph.D. in psychology and began counselling at the Industrial Relations Center. Dr. Farson held leadership positions in a number of research institutions. He co-founded the Western Behavioral Sciences Institute, where he served as president and CEO. He was later appointed as the founding dean of the California Institute of the Arts School of Design and served as president of the Esalen Institute. Drs. Rogers and Farson collaborated on many projects, including 1957's Active Listening. They also led a 16-hour group therapy session that was recorded and released as a film called Journey Into Self. The film won the 1968 Academy Award for Best Documentary. Active Listening describes a method of communication used in counselling and conflict resolution. Rather than serving as a passive participant in a conversation, active listeners take a functional role in helping the speaker to work out their issues. As the speaker shares, the listener repeats back what they've heard in their own words. This both confirms that they've heard the speaker and verifies that they understand. Unlike the way many of us instinctively communicate - trying to get another to see things from our own perspective - active listening requires that we see things from the speaker's perspective. The listener must address not only the meaning of the words, but also the feeling behind them, in order to make the speaker truly feel heard. These feelings can be conveyed through words, tone, volume, body language, and even breathing. This method is not without risks. It can be tempting to lose your sense of self in the practice of sensing the feelings of another person. As Drs. Rogers and Farson put it, "It takes a great deal of inner security and courage to be able to risk one's self in understanding another." In contrast to many psychological texts, Active Listening is written for the non-clinician or psychologist. In plain, everyday language, the book explains both the concepts of active listening and how they can be applied to the workplace. Employers who engage in active listening, the book argues, can help employees to become more cooperative, less argumentative, and clearer in their own communication. While the book is written in the context of the employee/employer relationship, the technique can be applied to all relationships in our lives. The concept is still highly influential, and Drs. Rogers and Farson's ideas about client-centered psychology are used in clinical practice today.

“Full of revealing, instantly applicable ideas for leveraging your strengths and overcoming your weaknesses.” —Adam Grant, author of Think Again and Originals, and host of the TED podcast WorkLife For many of us, listening is simply something we do on autopilot. We hear just enough of what others say to get our work done, maintain friendships, and be polite with our neighbors. But we miss crucial opportunities to go deeper—to give and receive honest feedback, to make connections that will endure for the long haul, and to discover who people truly are at their core. Fortunately, listening can be improved—and Ximena Vengoechea can show you how. In Listen Like You Mean It, she offers an essential listening guide for our times, revealing tried-and-true strategies honed in her own research sessions and drawn from interviews with marriage counselors, podcast hosts, life coaches, journalists, filmmakers, and other listening experts. Through Vengoechea’s set of scripts, key questions, exercises, and illustrations, you’ll learn to: • Quickly build rapport with strangers • Ask the right questions to deepen a conversation • Pause at the right time to encourage vulnerability • Navigate a conversation that’s gone off the rails Now more than ever, we need to feel heard, connected, and understood in a world that keeps turning up the volume. Warm, funny, and immensely practical, this book shows you how.

Most times in sales, people will tell you what they want by the different questions they ask and by their body language while you're presenting to them. Too often, salespeople don't look at these signs or really listen to the prospect. The problem with most business people, especially salespeople, is that they are poor listeners and truly do not realize they they are so bad at it. You see, they've been told their whole lives that they have the "gift of gab," when it truly could be their curse! Great salespeople are excellent listeners. They hear what the customer truly wants, and then they give it to them. Poor sales people consistently misread people (they think everyone is a buyer) because they haven't learned how to listen or ask questions or are too busy talking. In order to have a clue about the other person, it helps to understand their listener type. Asking questions will certainly help but understanding what kind of listener you are, as well as the other person, will help take your communication to a whole other level. As you figure out what type of listener you are, and what type of listener you are communicating with, this book can help you understand them all better. Keep in mind that you could be a couple of these different listeners; you may not be just one! Hopefully, after understanding yourself and the way you listen, you will communicate with everyone in a way that they will truly understand your point much better. Being a better listener will help you become more liked by others. They will think you care more, and maybe you will, when you both understand each other better. As you read through this book, please think of yourself and what kind of listener you are. Also, think of the people you communicate most with - your boss, wife, kids, co-workers, etc. - and about how you can change to communicate better.I hope you never find yourself saying, "You're not listening to me!" Instead, I hope that you become an excellent listener and, by better understanding the person you are communicating with, become a better leader, husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, and manager. Let the listening begin!

Over 55% of your day is spent listening; yet only 2% of us have been trained in how to listen. What is poor listening costing you? Do you rush from meeting to meeting, your head buried in the last conversation you had, without time to think of the next? Or feel frustrated with unproductive discussions where the loudest in the room adds limited insight and drowns out everyone else? We usually think of these situations as communication problems; that we have not spoken our needs correctly or clearly. Yet, conflict, chaos and confusion are the costs of not listening. Many communication and listening books say the most important person in a conversation is the speaker - not true! This pocket-sized guide will help you to reconnect with your innate gift of deep listening, to create the right space to listen to yourself before you listen to others. You'll learn to listen beyond the words that are spoken, to add context and meaning and listen in to what's not being said. Deep Listening will help you move from confusion and conflict to thoughtful, insightful and powerful discussions that will transform not just your work, but your whole life.