Touched By Suicide

Whether you are struggling with fresh grief at a loved one’s death by suicide or your loss happened years ago, you should know that you are not alone. 5 million Americans are affected—directly or indirectly—by this tragedy each year. And it sends us on a lifelong search for answers, both to the practical questions and the deepest question of all: Why? In this definitive guide book, Michael F. Myers, MD, a leading psychiatrist, and Carla Fine, author of the acclaimed No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One, combine their perspectives as a physician and a survivor to offer compassionate and practical advice to anyone affected by suicide.

Drawing on extensive clinical and epidemiological evidence, as well as personal experience, Thomas Joiner provides the most coherent and persuasive explanation ever given of why and how people overcome life's strongest instinct, self-preservation. He tests his theory against diverse facts about suicide rates among men and women; white and African-American men; anorexics, athletes, prostitutes, and physicians; members of cults, sports fans, and citizens of nations in crisis.

When people die by suicide, they leave behind family and friends who suddenly find themselves mourning the person's loss and wondering what happened. This guide addresses many personal issues related to a death by suicide, including telling others, working through the grief, finding what helps people to heal, and grieving in children and youth. This Ontario guide also outlines practical things that need taking care of, such as arranging a funeral and dealing with the deceased's personal, legal and financial matters. A resource section lists organizations, websites and books that may help.

Explaining the important difference between grief and mourning, this book explores every mourner's need to acknowledge death and embrace the pain of loss. Also explored are the many factors that make each person's grief unique and the many normal thoughts and feelings mourners might have. Questions of spirituality and religion are addressed as well. The rights of mourners to be compassionate with themselves, to lean on others for help, and to trust in their ability to heal are upheld. Journaling sections encourage mourners to articulate their unique thoughts and feelings.

“When I am suicidal, all rational thinking dissolves and black and white thinking prevails. It’s all or nothing, everyone or no one, never or forever. There is no room for sometimes, maybe, or less than perfect.” Let’s have a real conversation about suicide. It reflects a tragic loss of hope. It often raises more questions than can be answered. It moves across time into generations. So many are affected, and their stories of raw experience are often hidden in the threads of stigma. We want to amplify these voices. We put out a public call inviting individuals who have been touched by suicide through contemplation, attempt, or loss to share their unfiltered, personal journeys. These stories were collected as part of the Storybook Project, through the Arthur Sommer Rotenberg (ASR) Suicide & Depression Studies Program at St. Michael’s Hospital in Canada. What It Takes to Make It Through, published through the Storybook Project, is a moving and inspiring collection of short stories about suicide and is accompanied by essays from practitioners in the field. In connecting with these powerful stories of loss, resilience, and hope, we invite you to shift your perceptions of suicide, and be open to the struggle and grief of others. 100% of the proceeds from this book will go to the ASR Program to support suicide research and education initiatives. “There is hope for you. It doesn’t have to be about saving the world, although that’s cool too, and something you still like to think about. It can just be about saving yourself. That is enough. You are enough. You’re still here, and I’m glad.”

Suicide would appear to be the last taboo. Even incest is now discussed freely in popular media, but the suicide of a loved one is still an act most people are unable to talk about--or even admit to their closest family or friends. This is just one of the many painful and paralyzing truths author Carla Fine discovered when her husband, a successful young physician, took his own life in December 1989. And being unable to speak openly and honestly about the cause of her pain made it all the more difficult for her to survive. With No Time to Say Goodbye, she brings suicide survival from the darkness into light, speaking frankly about the overwhelming feelings of confusion, guilt, shame, anger, and loneliness that are shared by all survivors. Fine draws on her own experience and on conversations with many other survivors--as well as on the knowledge of counselors and mental health professionals. She offers a strong helping hand and invaluable guidance to the vast numbers of family and friends who are left behind by the more than thirty thousand people who commit suicide each year, struggling to make sense of an act that seems to them senseless, and to pick up the pieces of their own shattered lives. And, perhaps most important, for the first time in any book, she allows survivors to see that they are not alone in their feelings of grief and despair.

For anyone who has experienced the suicide of a loved one, coworker, neighbor, or acquaintance and is seeking information about coping with such a profound loss, this compassionate guide explores the unique responses inherent to their grief. Using the metaphor of the wilderness, the book introduces 10 touchstones to assist the survivor in this naturally complicated and particularly painful journey. The touchstones include opening to the presence of loss, embracing the uniqueness of grief, understanding the six needs of mourning, reaching out for help, and seeking reconciliation over resolution. Learning to identify and rely on each of these touchstones will bring about hope and healing.

Honest, gentle advice for those who have survived an unspeakable loss—the suicide of a loved one. Surviving the heartbreak of a loved one's suicide - you don't have to go through it alone. Authors Beverly Cobain and Jean Larch break through suicide's silent stigma in Dying to Be Free, offering gentle advice for those left behind, so that healing can begin.