Unf Ckupable

Anyone -- even you -- can tackle the fifty new recipes in this irreverent anti-cookbook from the author of What the F*@# Should I Make For Dinner? Author Zach Golden has curated and honed a collection of dishes that anyone, even you, can make without screwing them up. From his first book, where he approached the dinner question with the endless variety of a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure novel, to two successive titles guiding the aimless masses towards what to drink and what to do with their lives, Golden is the master at telling other people what to do. This next book marries scaled-down kitchen techniques with satisfying outcomes, with a heavy dose of profanity and deadpan humor. Don't f*@# up any of the following: Chicken and Rice Soup Roasted Vegetable and Bacon Hash Fennel, Sausage, and Arugula Pasta . . . and more, delivering on delicious meals as long as you don't do anything stupid like start a grease fire, cut off a finger, or spill hot pasta water down your pants. Unless, as he says, you're really, really dumb, they're Unf*ckupable.

Have a fridge full of staples, a family of finicky mouths to feed, and only a few minutes to get something on the table? If this sounds all too familiar, chances are you'll find dinner and more in this can-do approach to mealtime. The Busy Family's Survival Cookbook is designed with the modern-day family in mind—too busy, with not nearly enough time to eat together—and makes delicious meals come together in a snap. With a focus on accessible recipes with only a few simple ingredients, this guide takes the humble pantry staple and transforms it in minutes into delicious restaurant-quality dishes. The more-than 125 recipes are organized, not by course or time of day, but by the way people really cook: categories like pasta, vegetable dishes, salads, chicken, slow-cooking, fish, and more make the dinner dilemma easy. Try Butternut Squash and Pear Soup, Bronzino Veracruz, Baked Wild Mushroom Risotto, Roasted Chicken Enchiladas, and Meatloaf Burgers. This revolutionary approach will change the way you see dinnertime.

If dinnertime has you cursing up a storm, this cookbook of 50 profane and delicious dishes will get you off your indecisive a** and into the f*@#ing kitchen! Derived from the incredibly popular (and totally addictive) website, WhatTheFuckShouldIMakeForDinner.com, this "choose your own adventure" style cookbook provides quick and easy solutions for the nightly conundrum. Every page is a new (and easy) meal, with enough pizzazz to keep you interested. Don't like the recipe? Simply choose another page for a new f*@#ing idea! Making choices is hard, so let this book do it for you with 50 solid meal ideas-and a side of salty language-for meat-eaters and vegetarians alike, such as: Scallop Ceviche Grilled Skirt Steak with Chimichurri Red Flannel Hash Vegetarian Cassoulet Never hem and haw over what to make for dinner again! What the F*@# Should I Make For Dinner? is the perfect gift for anyone who loves food, and will become your go-to guide to save you from headache, hunger, and your own wishy-washy self.

New York Times bestselling author Missy Chase Lapine inspired legions of parents to “sneak” good food into their children's meals with The Sneaky Chef. Now she extends her concept of “sneakiness” into “speediness”: giving her fans 75 all-new healthy recipes that they can prepare in a flash. Missy knows that most parents rely on packaged foods to feed their families, and she'll show how to reap the benefits of convenience foods without sacrificing nutrition, including: • Quick fixes for jarred tomato sauce, mac-and-cheese, pancake mixes and cereals. • Clever Shortcuts that will get weeknight cooks out of the kitchen in a hurry. • Info on navigating options in the supermarket, what to look for when choosing packaged foods, shaving minutes—and calories—from every shopping trip. • Recipes that are dense in nutrients, while low in calories, fat, sodium, and sugars. • Fast tips such as “Sneaky Swaps” and “Sneaky Supercharges” that will kick meals up a notch. Best of all, The Speedy Sneaky Chef offers the best thing of all: time! Less time in the kitchen means more family time. Plus there's the peace of mind of knowing that meals are not just convenient, but healthy.

The garage may be on fire, but hey, at least dinner's good. Nothing says "I'm sorry" quite like food. Take it from noted asshole Zach Golden. He's discovered an important asshole loophole: If you put a delicious meal on the table, everybody will forget you're an unspeakably terrible person...until you do something else terrible. But hey, that's why there's dessert. From Pork and Chive Dumplings to Veal Ossobuco to Coconut Macaroons, Golden is guaranteed to have a dish up his sleeve that will undo any bad deed. He also probably has something sharp and potentially rusty up his sleeve, too, so don't make any sudden motions. Cooking (for A**holes) serves up 50 unbelievable (but true) stories of subterfuge, malfeasance, and impropriety, and the delicious recipes to help any asshole out of a bind.

From Japanese fare to pizza, egg salad, burgers, and tacos, this officially licensed Gudetama cookbook will show you how to feast the lazy way with this collection of craveable comfort recipes inspired by everyone's favorite lazy egg with the can't-be-bothered attitude. Like Gudetama's name -- gude gude is Japanese for "lazy" and tama is a shortened version of the Japanese word tamago, meaning "egg" -- the inspiration for these recipes is equal parts delicious, lazy, and seriously easy to make. The Gudetama Cookbook is the perfect combination of easy cooking and a love of lazy living. The recipes in this book are for everyone from novices to experienced home cooks and one look at each recipe's lazy meter will tell you exactly how much effort you'll need to execute each dish. Also included are full-color illustrations of Gudetama and food, fun sidebars, and Gudetama quotes. Dishes are divided into sections like Barely Awake Breakfasts, Lazy Lunches, Drowsy Dinners, Tired Treats, and Sleepy Sips. Recipes include: Unmotivated Breakfast Sandwich Too Tired Tater Tot Bake Tuckered Out Tamago Sando (Japanese egg salad sandwich) Slow-Paced Short Ribs Maybe I'll Make Meatloaf Stress-Free Strawberry Ice Cream Pie Easygoing Eggnog And more!

With its delectable recipes and charming girl-next-door tone, Homemade With Love is sure to be a welcome addition to the kitchens of longtime readers of the blog, In Jennie's Kitchen. Jennifer Perillo has long written on the pleasures and importance of cooking from scratch, buying local, and eating at home. Jennie shares her love for her farmers' markets and local purveyors while dishing out a hearty dose of practical culinary know-how for the working parent-or any busy cook. Jennie has been writing online since 2006, and developing recipes for more than 15 years, even after the sudden death of her young husband, Mikey, in 2011. Gathering her family together around the table was her recipe for healing; though many things about her life have changed, her commitment to eating for nourishment-physical and spiritual-has not. A seasoned recipe developer and personal chef, Jennie has crafted shortcuts (like two homemade all-purpose baking mixes, used as a base for baked goods such as breads, muffins, and cupcakes) to make good eating just a little easier. Try recipes like Orange-Scented Waffles, Carrot Fennel Soup, Lentil Ricotta Meatballs, Drop Biscuit Chicken Pot Pie, Strawberry Blender Sherbet, and Lemon Buttermilk Doughnuts. Simple, soulful recipes for every meal of the day emphasize farm-fresh produce and whole foods. Jennie's distinctive voice is an evangelist for eating close to home, lingering around the table.

Answering the Existential Question of What the F*@# to Do with Your Life with Spot-On Humor (and Profanity) If you've tried and failed to find your purpose in life, you're going to need expert help. From the author of What the F*@# Should I Make For Dinner?, this laugh-out-loud career guide will set you straight. Take a brief career quiz to find your perfect match, and get the inside scoop on a wide variety of crappy careers, plus tips on breaking in, leaving you with no excuse not to embark on a fulfilling vocation as: Electrician Therapist T-Shirt Cannon Operator Dental Hygienist Mortician Lobbyist . . . And more. And don't worry: if that perfect career eludes or you fail at everything else, you can always be a realtor.