What Do You Say When

A guide to effectively communicating with teenagers by the bestselling authors of The Self-Driven Child If you're a parent, you've had a moment--maybe many of them--when you've thought, "How did that conversation go so badly?" At some point after the sixth grade, the same kid who asked "why" non-stop at age four suddenly stops talking to you. And the conversations that you wish you could have--ones fueled by your desire to see your kid not just safe and healthy, but passionately engaged--suddenly feel nearly impossible to execute. The good news is that effective communication can be cultivated, learned, and taught. And as you get better at this, so will your kids. William Stixrud, Ph.D., and Ned Johnson have 60 years combined experience talking to kids one-on-one, and the most common question they get when out speaking to parents and educators is: What do you say? While many adults understand the importance and power of the philosophies behind the books that dominate the parenting bestseller list, parents are often left wondering how to put those concepts into action. In What Do You Say?, Johnson and Stixrud show how to engage in respectful and effective dialogue, beginning with defining and demonstrating the basic principles of listening and speaking. Then they show new ways to handle specific, thorny topics of the sort that usually end in parent/kid standoffs: delivering constructive feedback to kids; discussing boundaries around technology; explaining sleep and their brains; the anxiety of current events; and family problem-solving. What Do You Say? is a manual and map that will immediately transform parents' ability to navigate complex terrain and train their minds and hearts to communicate ever more successfully.

Do you remember a time when you used the right words at the right moment, and they made all the difference? With the aim of helping you repeat that experience every day, this book provides hundreds of examples of what we call “Best Practice Language” (BPL), a research-based technique designed to help teachers use words to improve student behavior – in the classroom and beyond. In their years of working at the K-12 levels, educators Hal Holloman and Peggy H. Yates have identified the exact phrases and key words you can use to handle: recurring disruptions, inappropriate outbursts, and students’ low self-confidence, among other classroom realities. BPL will enable you to: Set your expectations clearly on the first day of school Prevent and resolve conflicts between students Create a safe haven for shy, apprehensive students Establish meaningful relationships with students built on trust Help students foster a respect for themselves, their peers, and for adults Maintain a positive classroom environment that encourages personal responsibility Whether you're a new teacher, a veteran teacher, a pre-service teacher, or school administrator, the tools in this book will help you use words effectively, in ways that resonate with students and provide them with clear and promising direction.

Have you ever used the phrases What do you say? or Whats the magic word? when prompting a child to use a polite word? Did you ever stop to think how many possible answers there could be for that same prompt? Somehow, we expect small children to be able to distinguish which polite word goes with each situation in which the prompt is used. Im confused just thinking about it. This book takes common everyday situations when their parent might say What do you say? Each time this prompt is used, a conversation bubble appears above the childs head with a list of the possible answers the parent is looking for. The parent and child reading the book can then talk about what they think the correct answer would be. In addition to common polite words, such as please, thank you, excuse me, and sorry, the book touches on Halloween / trick-or-treating and occasions when a child might receive a gift. Like me, Im sure many of you have been embarrassed when your child is impolite or inconsiderate. My hope is that this book will help that from happening . . . too often.

As a psychiatrist, Dr. Berne found that each person, in early childhood--under the powerful influence of his parents--writes his own script that will determine the general course of his life. That script dictates what kind of person he will marry, how many children he will have, even what kind of bed he will die in. Most of all, it determines whether he will be a winner or a loser, a spendthrift or a skinflint, a tower of strength or a doomed alcoholic. Some people, says Berne, have scripts that call for them to fail in their professions, or to be repeatedly disappointed in love, or to be chronic invalids. Here, he demonstrates how each life script gets written, how it works, and how each of us can break free of it to help us attain real autonomy and true fulfillment.

What do you say when: you bump into a crocodile on a crowded city street? a nice gentleman introduces you to a baby elephant? the Queen feeds you so much spaghetti that you don't fit in your chair anymore? This is the funniest book of manners you'll ever read!

Do you remember a time when you used the right words at the right moment, and they made all the difference? With the aim of helping you repeat that experience every day, this book provides hundreds of examples of what we call “Best Practice Language” (BPL), a research-based technique designed to help teachers use words to improve student behavior – in the classroom and beyond. In their years of working at the K-12 levels, educators Hal Holloman and Peggy H. Yates have identified the exact phrases and key words you can use to handle: recurring disruptions, inappropriate outbursts, and students’ low self-confidence, among other classroom realities. BPL will enable you to: Set your expectations clearly on the first day of school Prevent and resolve conflicts between students Create a safe haven for shy, apprehensive students Establish meaningful relationships with students built on trust Help students foster a respect for themselves, their peers, and for adults Maintain a positive classroom environment that encourages personal responsibility Whether you're a new teacher, a veteran teacher, a pre-service teacher, or school administrator, the tools in this book will help you use words effectively, in ways that resonate with students and provide them with clear and promising direction.