What No One Tells The Bride

What No One Tells the Bride is the inside scoop--good and bad--on what it's really like being married. In these pages, journalist Marg Stark breaks the newlywed code of silence and exposes the profound adjustments brides often experience. Stark and 50 married women tell their stories--showing others how to handle turbulence on cloud nine--and reveal marital truths, such as: You don't feel like a "Mrs." Sometimes you even dream about old boyfriends. You write all the wedding gift thank-you notes. So you are doomed to your mother's life--60 years of doing more than your share? Making love is the last thing on your mind when you have the flu and haven't showered for days. But he still wants to. You tell him you got these incredible bargains and quietly resent having to justify your spending. You have shining moments when marriage feels absolutely right, but nevertheless you pine for something more. Humorous and compassionate--with advice from marriage counselors, ministers, financial advisors, and sex therapists--What No One Tells the Bride is not only a practical guide for every newly married woman, it also makes the perfect wedding shower gifts.

The inside scoop of what it's really like getting married and being newly married.

Featured in multiple “must-read” lists, No One Tells You This is “sharp, intimate…A funny, frank, and fearless memoir…and a refreshing view of the possibilities—and pitfalls—personal freedom can offer modern women” (Kirkus Reviews). If the story doesn’t end with marriage or a child, what then? This question plagued Glynnis MacNicol on the eve of her fortieth birthday. Despite a successful career as a writer, and an exciting life in New York City, Glynnis was constantly reminded she had neither of the things the world expected of a woman her age: a partner or a baby. She knew she was supposed to feel bad about this. After all, single women and those without children are often seen as objects of pity or indulgent spoiled creatures who think only of themselves. Glynnis refused to be cast into either of those roles, and yet the question remained: What now? There was no good blueprint for how to be a woman alone in the world. It was time to create one. Over the course of her fortieth year, which this ​“beguiling” (The Washington Post) memoir chronicles, Glynnis embarks on a revealing journey of self-discovery that continually contradicts everything she’d been led to expect. Through the trials of family illness and turmoil, and the thrills of far-flung travel and adventures with men, young and old (and sometimes wearing cowboy hats), she wrestles with her biggest hopes and fears about love, death, sex, friendship, and loneliness. In doing so, she discovers that holding the power to determine her own fate requires a resilience and courage that no one talks about, and is more rewarding than anyone imagines. “Amid the raft of motherhood memoirs out this summer, it’s refreshing to read a book unapologetically dedicated to the fulfillment of single life” (Vogue). No One Tells You This is an “honest” (Huffington Post) reckoning with modern womanhood and “a perfect balance between edgy and poignant” (People)—an exhilarating journey that will resonate with anyone determined to live by their own rules.

From the author of "What No One Tells the Bride" comes this collection of coping strategies and advice from real parents and a range of experts that shows mothers how to survive the first five, most turbulent years of motherhood.

"With fearless curiosity and fun feminism, the book asks such questions as: Why do brides need their parents' permission to marry? Why don't men wear engagement rings? And why do women change their surname? With cheeky insights into the origins of Western wedding traditions (like how the wedding cake is not just dessert but a sexy fertility talisman), Majkut uncovers eye-opening truths about how social traditions impact people's lives. More than a wedding planning book, readers will learn how to modernize outdated traditions that support the wage gap, street harassment, sex and gender discrimination, and that limit reproductive rights."--Amazon.com.

What No One Tells the Bride is the inside scoop--good and bad--on what it's really like being married. In these pages, journalist Marg Stark breaks the newlywed code of silence and exposes the profound adjustments brides often experience. Stark and 50 married women tell their stories--showing others how to handle turbulence on cloud nine--and reveal marital truths, such as: You don't feel like a "Mrs." Sometimes you even dream about old boyfriends. You write all the wedding gift thank-you notes. So you are doomed to your mother's life--60 years of doing more than your share? Making love is the last thing on your mind when you have the flu and haven't showered for days. But he still wants to. You tell him you got these incredible bargains and quietly resent having to justify your spending. You have shining moments when marriage feels absolutely right, but nevertheless you pine for something more.Humorous and compassionate--with advice from marriage counselors, ministers, financial advisors, and sex therapists--"What No One Tells the Bride" is not only a practical guide for every newly married woman, it also makes the perfect wedding shower gifts.

“What girl can’t identify with Never the Bride? This is a fabulously funny novel with deep truths embedded in its pages.” –Kristin Billerbeck, author of What a Girl Wants “I admire writers who employ words to paint touchable pictures, likable characters, introducing us to instant friends who lead us to unexpected endings. That’s why I love Never The Bride.” –SQuire Rushnell, author of the When GOD Winks books Eleven Bridesmaid Dresses Don’t Lie Since she was just a little girl, Jessie Stone dreamed up hundreds of marriage proposals, doodled the romantic ideas in her journal with her treasured purple pen, and fantasized about wedding dresses and falling in love. She’s been a bridesmaid nearly a dozen times, waved numerous couples off to sunny honeymoons, and shopped in more department stores for half-price fondue pots than she cares to remember. But shopping for one key component of these countless proposals hasn't been quite as productive–a future husband. The man she thought she would marry cheated on her. The crush she has on her best friend Blake is at very best…well, crushing. And speed dating has only churned out memorable horror stories. So when God shows up one day, in the flesh, and becomes a walking, talking part of her life, Jessie is skeptical. What will it take to convince her that the Almighty has a better plan than one she’s already cooked up in her journals? Can she turn over her pen and trust someone else to craft a love story beyond her wildest dreams? Cheryl McKay is the screenwriter for the award-winning film The Ultimate Gift. She also wrote an episode of Gigi: God’s Little Princess, based on the book by Sheila Walsh, and Taylor’s Wall, a drama about high-school violence. She’s been writing since the tender age of five when she penned her first play. Cheryl is originally from Boston, Massachusetts, and currently lives in Los Angeles. Rene Gutteridge is a critically acclaimed comedy writer and novelist. She is the author of fifteen novels including the Boo series, My Life as a Doormat, the Occupational Hazards series, and the novelization of the motion picture The Ultimate Gift. She lives in Oklahoma with her family.

Once I was a sane, levelheaded professional woman. Then I said “yes.” Now I am the lunatic bride I always made fun of! What is it about getting married that turns normal people into total freaks? A savvy, riotously funny novel, Diary of a Mad Bride is for anyone who has ever been a bride, is about to become a bride, yearned to be a bride, or suffered the sheer indignity of appearing in public in the world’s ugliest bridesmaid dress.... My wedding was starting in less than twenty minutes, and I was stuck in a 7-Eleven parking lot with popcorn kernels wedged in my gums and vanilla ice cream melting on my dress. It was a disaster too large to comprehend. After an agonizing year spent planning my wedding, could it really end like this? The voices chronicling a year of wedding hysteria swirled in my head.... — My grandmother upon viewing my engagement ring: “What do you mean he gave you an emerald! Diamonds are eternal, emeralds say, maybe five years.” — My future father-in-law on the night of my engagement party: “To a happy marriage and, if necessary, a painless divorce!” — My best friend, Anita: “Oh, screw congratulations. Of course I’m happy for you. Stephen’s a major piece of ass and he’s got a sense of humor. Just as long as you’re certain this is what you want.” Would I survive this day after all....?