What Would Susie Say

IN WHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY?, Susie Essman sheds the crasser layers to reveal how she went from an anxiety-ridden, struggling stand-up comic to being one of the funniest women on television, playing Susie Greene on HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm. Emerging as one of the most successful performers in her field, Essman goes behind the scenes of a life in comedy with her funny cohorts, including Joy Behar, Rodney Dangerfield, and, of course, Jeff Garlin and Larry David, while also providing sidesplittingly funny wisdom on a range of topics that she's highly unqualified to expound upon, including men, sports, hypochondria, and stepparenthood. WHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY ABOUT... MARRIAGE? "It took me a long time to find the man I was willing to commit myself to. Even the word commit is troublesome. One is committed to a mental institution." MEN WITH DOGS? "As a dog lover, I've researched many different breeds and I've begun to realize that you can tell a lot about a person by what breed of dog they choose to associate with. A bit self-conscious about your cellulite? A guy with a shar-pei is for you. They're hard to find, but cheaper than lipo." THE BEAUTY OF MENOPAUSE? "I guess I just have to accept the fact that I'm going to end up a bald, fat, sweaty, irritable woman with a dry vagina and a full beard who never sleeps and has memory loss so I won't even be able to remember how hot I used to look!" STEPPARENTHOOD? "My mother used to tell me 'you can't buy your kids' love.' Bullshit. You can, and it's exponential. They're like Russian mail-order brides -- the more you spend, the more they love you." WHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY? is Essman's irreverent, refreshingly candid, and hilarious retort to the dubious facts of life that we all face.

Noni can do many things: she can give her baby brother his bottle, she can help her mother in the kitchen, and she can even walk over to her friend Susie’s house. But Noni just can’t say “no.” When she was very small, it was easy saying “no” to everybody, but now that she has a best friend, she wants to please. Noni can’t say “no” to her friend, even when it means she has to hand over a precious toy, or when it means agreeing to a hideous haircut, or even giving up her bed at a sleepover. But when Noni finally finds her voice, the consequences are not what she – or the reader – expects. Heather Hartt-Sussman’s story, complemented by the playful illustrations of Geneviève Côté, is a comforting exploration of friendship and of the importance of trusting one’s own judgment. Many children (as well as many adults) will root for Noni as she learns that you can stand up for yourself and still be a good friend.

"Fifth-grader Susan "Susie B." Babuszkiewicz finds that running for Student Council is complicated, especially after learning that her hero, Susan B. Anthony, was not as heroic as she thought. Told through a series of letters from Susie to Susan."--Provided by publisher.

The much-loved travel writer recalls a 1950s childhood in post-war London's every shade of grey and the splendours of Africa as, with her glamorous mother and father, Susie boards a ship bound for exotic, technicolor Kenya. Then its final decade as a colony, Kenya was peopled with larger-than-life characters who had helped to forge its identity. There, with the threats of the Mau Mau uprising ever-present, Susie's life disintegrates at break-neck speed into a web of jealousy, rejection and casual cruelty. Each time it seems things cannot get any worse, they do as Susie lifts the lid on her own, often shocking, behavior in her quest to protect herself and those she loves. Rebellious, lonely and self-destructive, it is a small grey pony named Cinderella who saves Susie from herself and brings her the love she craves. Readers will shed a tear at her losses and laugh at her predicaments in this sometimes hilarious, often heartbreaking, true story that gives a moving and often shocking insight in to the earlier life of the bestselling travel writer famed for her humor and her honesty. "A Child Called 'It' meets Out of Africa in this stunning memoir of a woman's 1950s childhood in Kenya. Filled with candid humor and insights, this authentic tale captures one woman's incredible coming-of-age journey." BookBub

“A truly addictive read” (Glamour) about how a young woman’s crush on a privileged former classmate becomes a story of love, lies, and dark obsession, offering stark insights into the immigrant experience, as it hurtles to its electrifying ending in this “twisty, unputdownable, psychological thriller” (People). Ivy Lin is a thief and a liar—but you’d never know it by looking at her. Raised outside of Boston, Ivy’s immigrant grandmother relies on Ivy’s mild appearance for cover as she teaches her granddaughter how to pilfer items from yard sales and second-hand shops. Thieving allows Ivy to accumulate the trappings of a suburban teen—and, most importantly, to attract the attention of Gideon Speyer, the golden boy of a wealthy political family. But when Ivy’s mother discovers her trespasses, punishment is swift and Ivy is sent to China, and her dream instantly evaporates. Years later, Ivy has grown into a poised yet restless young woman, haunted by her conflicting feelings about her upbringing and her family. Back in Boston, when Ivy bumps into Sylvia Speyer, Gideon’s sister, a reconnection with Gideon seems not only inevitable—it feels like fate. Slowly, Ivy sinks her claws into Gideon and the entire Speyer clan by attending fancy dinners, and weekend getaways to the cape. But just as Ivy is about to have everything she’s ever wanted, a ghost from her past resurfaces, threatening the nearly perfect life she’s worked so hard to build. Filled with surprising twists and a nuanced exploration of class and race, White Ivy is a “highly entertaining,” (The Washington Post) “propulsive debut” (San Francisco Chronicle) that offers a glimpse into the dark side of a woman who yearns for success at any cost.

Transform your hobby or talent into a side hustle that will provide you with inspiration, fulfillment, and a fortune. This book is the energetic motivational injection to help you overcome your fears and doubts.

From the best-selling author of The Outsiders, S.E. Hinton's Tex explores friendships, conflict, depression, self-destructive behavior, and truth and acceptance. This edition includes a new and exclusive Author's Note. Easygoing and reckless, Tex, likes everyone and everything, especially his horse, Negrito, and Johnny Collins' blue-eyed sister, Jamie. Life with his older brother, Mason, would be just about perfect if only he would stop complaining about Pop, who hasn't been home in five months. While Mason worries about paying the bills and getting a basketball scholarship--his ticket out of Oklahoma--Tex just seems to attract trouble. When everything seems to be falling apart, how can Tex find a way to keep things together?

Geeky fangirl Heidi, 15, has a great fantasy life thanks to her TV and her laptop - and no wonder, when she's stuck at the boarding school for crazy drop-outs where her parents teach, with only a cake-shop Saturday job to escape to. At least she's got her best mates - but when they all start coupling up, Heidi needs a boyfriend - and fast. Enter Gingerbread Ed, a sexy lovemuppet with a motorbike. He'd be perfect - if he actually existed. Heidi's mad online life collides hysterically with her real one in a laugh-out-loud, über-cool teen novel.