When Loving Him Is Hurting You

It's Okay to Have Needs of Your Own You fell in love with him. But over time you've come to realize he's in love with himself—and you feel trapped. His needs, his problems, and his plans always seem to take precedence over yours. Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recovery Center, offers a guide to help you identify signs of narcissism, understand how your loved one's issues are affecting you, and prepare a biblical game plan for freeing yourself to live courageously in light of God's love. Whether the man in your life can be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), exhibits narcissistic traits and emotionally abusive behavior, or has arrogant and self-centered tendencies, the emotional pain he causes you is very real. Discover the truths, wisdom, and grace you need to spark change in your relationship, set boundaries, and experience healing.

"We cannot see what we don't understand. Finally a book about abuse that blazes a path through the complex dynamics of domestic violence and helps the one who is being hurt to look at herself - with compassion and tough love. To be strategic and smart. To choose herself. This fairy tale busting, no-bullshit, no judgement gem of a book brings together the collaborative genius of a brilliant therapist and a courageous survivor of abuse and offers stories, strategies and solutions to one of the most misunderstood and intractable of human predicaments: when a woman loves a man who hurts her. Compelling, insightful and utterly liberating. I wanted to stand and cheer when I finished reading it. This book will save lives." - Joanne Fedler, international best-selling author and women's rights activist "When Loving Him Hurts is a beautiful and poignant reminder that everyone has options." Nadia Bilchik CNN Editorial Producer Ask any woman whether a man has ever hurt her, and the answer in all probability will be a resounding yes. Yet despite women's abuse being one of the most topical and written about subjects today, there are still many myths and preconceptions surrounding the syndrome. Did you know: Most abused women don't heed the signs because they don't know what they are; Most people think abuse is purely physical; Unless a woman has been raped or assaulted she cannot report it; Despite it seeming logical by the concerned outsider, an abused woman usually cannot just up and leave. The responsibility of children, rent and the effects of disempowerment that come with systematic abuse need to be overcome. There is no way to evaluate the cost of abuse to the economy unless it results in litigation such as a restraining orders and most don't. When loving him hurts is a comprehensive selfhelp manual that will appeal to any woman who has ever been psychologically, emotionally, financially or physically hurt by a man.Through penetrating case studies, work sheets and psychological insights, When loving him hurts will help the reader identify and accept her situation of abuse and subsequently empower her to learn the art of the sacred No, reclaiming self-esteem and healing through life-changing, creative expression. It is an invaluable tool, a unique guide written specifically for wounded women, by two women who are all too familiar with the silent and invisible stain of abuse that marks the world we live in.

When Loving You Is Hurting Me examines various forms of domestic violence such as family violence; intimate partner, child, and elder abuse; teen dating violence; and men being abused by women. Readers are enlightened about its effect on the victims and those who love and care about the maltreated person. The author deals with the subject from a biblical and spiritual perspective. The title of the book gives a foreshadowing of the subject and the dynamics between victims and perpetrators: the individual who cares immensely for the very individual who exploits and takes advantage of that endearment by mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually annihilating them. Dr. Kimberly D. Shamberger uses scriptural and clinical references to encourage and demonstrate that God does not desire his children to endure maltreatment. It is the authors desire by the completion of this book that all perpetrators will be edified and all victims will have gained knowledge, self-assurance of the love of God, and encouragement to safely change the title to Im Leaving You For Me (Con Funk Shun).

You want to do the right thing—to take care of your family, to be a good employee, to "be there" for your friends. And you're good at it. Everyone knows they can depend on you—so they do. But are you really doing what's best for them? And what about you—are you growing? Are you happy and relaxed? Are you excited about your gifts and your calling, or do you sometimes think, "I don't even know what I want anymore." Find out why you have trouble saying no. Learn why you feel accepted only when you are producing. And finally experience the deep joy and peace that come with serving other people out of your abundance, not out of your need.

Some of the most difficult people to deal with are those who fail to take responsibility for their lives and who wreak havoc in their relationships. Author and relationship doctor David Hawkins offers help for those caught unavoidably in the craziness of a disordered person's life. With clear explanations, examples, and real life solutions, Hawkins shows readers how to develop healthy life skill tools and boundaries when, why, and how to confront a person who drives them crazy how disordered people think, act, and see the world Anyone trapped in another person's cycle of disorder will discover ways to change their own response, perspective, and communication, and ultimately will find the hope of peace in the chaos.

Something Has to Change… You can’t put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit. For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to: · identify damaging behaviors · gain the skills to respond wisely · promote healthy change · stay safe · understand when, why, and even how to leave · recognize that God sees and hates what is happening to you Trying harder to be a perfect fantasy wife won’t help fix what’s wrong your marriage. Discover instead how you can initiate effective changes to stop the cycle of destruction and restore hope for the future. “Women in an emotionally abusive marriage do not need another book on how to have a good marriage; those books rub salt in raw wounds. No, they desperately need this book so that they can diagnose just how bad their marriage is and then, with Leslie’s clear expertise, develop a plan that will either begin to turn their marriage around...or give them a wise route of escape.” —Dee Brestin, author of Idol Lies and The Friendships of Women

“Every woman who is struggling to understand the mistreatment she is experiencing in her relationship should begin by reading [this] wonderful book.”—Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That? What do you do when the one you love hurts you? Have you been searching for answers to difficult questions about your relationship? Do you feel confused about why your partner seems loving one moment and angry the next? Summoning the courage to ask these challenging questions can seem daunting. You know something is wrong in your relationship, but you are not sure what. If you are beginning to wonder if you are experiencing abuse, this book can offer you support, information, and, most of all, hope as you look for answers. Written by two women with a wealth of experience supporting victims of abuse, When Love Hurts introduces exercises and resources to help you make sense of your relationship, addressing all forms of abuse, including verbal, emotional, financial, sexual, and physical. This practical guidebook is a supportive and nonjudgmental friend to those who don’t know where to turn and is filled with stories from women who have been in the same position. By drawing on your own wisdom and that of the many others who have shared your experience, When Love Hurts can help you find the answers you have been looking for.

If you live or work with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), you probably often feel put down. You feel ashamed of your own needs. Your relationship may feel so out of control that you wonder if you’ve lost your sanity. As a clinical psychotherapist for nearly thirty years, Patricia Kuhlman has worked with many people who have been victimized by another’s NPD. She joins Stephen Arterburn to explore: Practical tools to break the cycle of pain and find healing What narcissism is and how people become narcissists The most current research about NPD How to define, express, and establish personal boundaries A how-to, self-care program including sample responses to narcissistic behaviors Most importantly, Kuhlman offers validation, understanding, and encouragement. Being in relationship with a narcissist can be lonely and confusing. Find stability and truth in this practical guide.