Why Are We Yelling

‘This is a life-changing book. Read it three times and then give a copy to anyone you care about. It will make things better’ – Seth Godin, author of This Is Marketing Why Are We Yelling? is Buster Benson’s essential guide to having more honest and constructive arguments. Have you ever walked away from an argument and suddenly thought of all the brilliant things you wish you'd said? Do you avoid certain family members and colleagues because of bitter, festering tension that you can't figure out how to address? Now, finally, there's a solution: a new framework that frees you from the trap of unproductive conflict and pointless arguing forever. If the threat of raised voices, emotional outbursts, and public discord makes you want to hide under the conference room table, you're not alone. Conflict, or the fear of it, can be exhausting. But as this powerful book argues, conflict doesn't have to be unpleasant. In fact, properly channeled, conflict can be the most valuable tool we have at our disposal for deepening relationships, solving problems, and coming up with new ideas. As the mastermind behind some of the highest-performing teams at Amazon, Twitter, and Slack, Buster Benson spent decades facilitating hard conversations in stressful environments. In this book, Buster reveals the psychological underpinnings of awkward, unproductive conflict and the critical habits anyone can learn to avoid it. Armed with a deeper understanding of how arguments, you'll be able to: * Remain confident when you're put on the spot * Diffuse tense moments with a few strategic questions * Facilitate creative solutions even when your team has radically different perspectives Why Are We Yelling? will shatter your assumptions about what makes arguments productive. You'll find yourself having fewer repetitive, predictable fights once you're empowered to identify your biases, listen with an open mind, and communicate well. ‘All you need is Buster Benson. His methods are instantly actionable, [and] his writing is funny and relatable’ – Adam Grant, author of Originals

Have you ever walked away from an argument and suddenly thought of all the brilliant things you wish you'd said? Do you avoid certain family members and colleagues because of bitter, festering tension that you can't figure out how to address? Now, finally, there's a solution: a new framework that frees you from the trap of unproductive conflict and pointless arguing forever. If the threat of raised voices, emotional outbursts, and public discord makes you want to hide under the conference room table, you're not alone. Conflict, or the fear of it, can be exhausting. But as this powerful book argues, conflict doesn't have to be unpleasant. In fact, properly channeled, conflict can be the most valuable tool we have at our disposal for deepening relationships, solving problems, and coming up with new ideas. As the mastermind behind some of the highest-performing teams at Amazon, Twitter, and Slack, Buster Benson spent decades facilitating hard conversations in stressful environments. In this book, Buster reveals the psychological underpinnings of awkward, unproductive conflict and the critical habits anyone can learn to avoid it. Armed with a deeper understanding of how arguments, you'll be able to: Remain confident when you're put on the spot Diffuse tense moments with a few strategic questions Facilitate creative solutions even when your team has radically different perspectives Why Are We Yelling will shatter your assumptions about what makes arguments productive. You'll find yourself having fewer repetitive, predictable fights once you're empowered to identify your biases, listen with an open mind, and communicate well.

As parents and teachers know, yelling comes naturally to children. This friendly, encouraging book, geared to preschool and primary children, introduces and reinforces where and when to use an “indoor voice” or an “outdoor voice.” In classic Best Behavior style the author tells young readers, “Your voice is a powerful tool. How you use it is up to you.” Vivid illustrations show the times and places for an indoor voice, the ways people ask us to quiet our voices, and times when yelling might occur. “What happens if you’re mad or frustrated or really, really excited? Your voice gets louder and LOUDER.” But yelling hurts people’s ears and feelings. Children learn that they can quiet their voice and use their words to talk about a problem. “Think before you yell, and use your words well!” Includes a special section for parents and caregivers with activities and discussion starters. The Best Behavior series uses simple words and delightful full-color illustrations to guide children to choose peaceful, positive behaviors. Select titles are available in two versions: a durable board book for ages baby–preschool, and a longer, more in-depth paperback for ages 4–7. Kids, parents, and teachers love these award-winning books. All include helpful tips and ideas for parents and caregivers.

“A wonderful book about figuring out who we are and who we want to be when we grow up. It’s also about being an American—especially a first-generation American.” —Roz Chast This graphic-novel debut from an acclaimed picture book creator is a powerfully moving memoir of the author's experiences with family, religion, and coming of age in the aftermath of World War II, and the childhood struggles and family secrets that shaped her. It’s 1950s New York, and Marisabina Russo is being raised Catholic and attending a Catholic school that she loves—but when she finds out that she’s Jewish by blood, and that her family members are Jewish survivors of the Holocaust, her childhood is thrown into turmoil. To make matters more complicated, her father is out of the picture, her mother is ambitious and demanding, and her older half-brothers have troubles, too. Following the author’s young life into the tumultuous, liberating 1960s, this heartfelt, unexpectedly humorous, and meticulously illustrated graphic-novel memoir explores the childhood burdens of memory and guilt, and Marisabina’s struggle and success in forming an identity entirely her own.

A guide to happier parenting, featuring daily thoughts, tips, and motivational personal stories to help you toss out the screams and welcome the peace. Do you often find yourself losing your cool and yelling at your kids (or grandkids or students)? It happens to us all, but it doesn’t have to. With Yell Less, Love More, you’ll learn practical, simple solutions to keep you focused on loving more and yelling less, no matter what the circumstance. Take the Orange Rhino 30-day challenge to yell less, organized into thirty short, approachable, and easy-to-follow daily sections—which you can use and adjust in any way that works for you. Whether you have one child or twenty (or one you still yell at who is twenty), strengthen your relationships and maybe even laugh a little more—by taking the challenge today. The Rhino: A naturally calm animal that charges when provoked. The Orange Rhino: A person that parents with warmth and determination and who doesn’t charge with words when angry, impatient, or simply in a bad mood. Yell Less, Love More includes: 100 alternatives to yelling Simple, daily steps to follow Honest stories to inspire Parenting revelations A summarizing chapter of key takeaways, including most frequent triggers and multiple solutions for each of them Trigger-tracking sheets Unlike the preachy, unrealistic, dry, and/or tedious parenting books you’ve read before, Yell Less, Love More is like having a heart-to-heart talk with your best friend. With this warm, colorful, and easy-to-use guide, it is possible to stop yelling and start enjoying a calmer, happier life because of it. Praise for Yell Less, Love More “With wisdom and humor, Sheila quickly becomes an encouraging friend and mentor who gently teaches you how to manage your frustrations while building your self-confidence. You’ll have fun reading this ultimate self-help book and will find yourself turning to it for love, support, and guidance when you fear you may be losing ground.” —Laura Deutsch, co-founder of Mommybites (mommybites.com)

A groundbreaking guide to raising responsible, capable, happy kids Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents, Dr. Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don’t need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe—or even punish. This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years. If you’re tired of power struggles, tantrums, and searching for the right “consequence,” look no further. You’re about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive, proven way.

Draws on the author's Positive Parenting Solutions online course to explain how to correct negative behaviors in children, introducing the psychological theories of Alfred Adler on using empowerment to promote healthy child development.

“Rachel Macy Stafford's post "The Day I Stopped Saying Hurry Up" was a true phenomenon on The Huffington Post, igniting countless conversations online and off about freeing ourselves from the vicious cycle of keeping up with our overstuffed agendas. Hands Free Mama has the power to keep that conversation going and remind us that we must not let our lives pass us by.” --Arianna Huffington, Chair, President, and Editor-in-Chief of the Huffington Post Media Group, nationally syndicated columnist, and author of thirteen books http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ DISCOVER THE POWER, JOY, AND LOVE of Living “Hands Free” If technology is the new addiction, then multi-tasking is the new marching order. We check our email while cooking dinner, send a text while bathing the kids, and spend more time looking into electronic screens than into the eyes of our loved ones. With our never-ending to-do lists and jam-packed schedules, it’s no wonder we’re distracted. But this isn’t the way it has to be. In July 2010, special education teacher and mother Rachel Macy Stafford decided enough was enough. Tired of losing track of what matters most in life, Rachel began practicing simple strategies that enabled her to momentarily let go of largely meaningless distractions and engage in meaningful soul-to-soul connections. She started a blog to chronicle her endeavors and soon saw how both external and internal distractions had been sabotaging her happiness and preventing her from bonding with the people she loves most. Hands Free Mama is the digital society’s answer to finding balance in a media-saturated, perfection-obsessed world. It doesn’t mean giving up all technology forever. It doesn’t mean forgoing our jobs and responsibilities. What it does mean is seizing the little moments that life offers us to engage in real and meaningful interaction. It means looking our loved ones in the eye and giving them the gift of our undivided attention, leaving the laundry till later to dance with our kids in the rain, and living a present, authentic, and intentional life despite a world full of distractions. So join Rachel and go hands-free. Discover what happens when you choose to open your heart—and your hands—to the possibilities of each God-given moment.