Why Mommy Drinks

Why Mommy Swears is the much anticipated new novel from Gill Sims, author of the hilarious Why Mommy Drinks and online sensation Peter and Jane.

Why Mommy Drinks is the brilliant novel from Gill Sims, the author of the online sensation Peter and Jane. Boy Child Peter, Girl Child Jane and Daddy have exciting adventures with Mommy. Daddy likes gadgets. Peter and Jane like starting fires, trying to kill each other and driving Mommy to drink. Written from the point of view of an exhausted mommy at the end of the day, it's honest, it's funny, and it's a little bit sweary. It is Mommy's 39th birthday. She is staring down the barrel at a future of people asking if she wants to come to their yoga class, and book clubs, where everyone is wearing statement scarves and they are all 'tiddly' after a glass of Pinot Grigio. But Mommy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who 'live for their children', boasting about Boy Child and Girl Child's achievements. Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering FML over and over, and then remembers the gem of an idea she's had...

If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.

A wickedly funny look at the challenges of new parenthood. With cocktail recipes. Being a new mom is “AHHHH! WHAT HAVE I DONE?” hard. Why are all these tiny clothes so expensive? Who wrote these mind-numbing board books? Will Mommy ever carry a purse again that’s not a diaper bag? And how is she even functioning off so little sleep? Reasons Mommy Drinks is a fresh, insightful, and hilarious collection of the various struggles faced by new parents—from mommy groups and single-people envy to the end of maternity leave—with a well-deserved cocktail recipe to go with each one. This must-have resource will help sleep-deprived new moms survive the baby years with their sense of humor, if not their lives as they once knew them, intact.

BY THE AUTHOR OF NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER THE AUTHENTICITY PROJECT, THE BRAVE AND FUNNY MEMOIR THAT IS CHANGING LIVES. How one mother gave up drinking and started living. This is Bridget Jones Dries Out. Clare Pooley is a Cambridge graduate and was a Managing Partner at one of the world's biggest advertising agencies, and yet by eighteen months ago she'd become an overweight, depressed, middle-aged mother of three who was drinking more than a bottle of wine a day, and spending her evenings Googling 'Am I an alcoholic?' In a desperate bid to turn her life around, she quit drinking and started a blog. She called it Mummy Was a Secret Drinker. This book is the story of a year in Clare's life. A year that started with her quitting booze having been drinking more than a bottle of wine every day. It sees her starting a hugely successful blog, then getting and beating breast cancer. By the end of the year she is booze free and cancer free, two stone lighter and with a life that is so much richer, healthier and more rewarding than ever before. Sober Diaries is an upbeat, funny and positive look at how to live life to the full. Interwoven within Clare's own very personal and frank story is research and advice, and answers to questions like: How do I know if I'm drinking too much? How will I cope at parties? What do I say to friends and family? How do I cope with cravings? Will I lose weight? What if my partner still drinks? And many more.

My name is Amber Reynolds. There are three things you should know about me: 1. I’m in a coma. 2. My husband doesn’t love me anymore. 3. Sometimes I lie. Amber wakes up in a hospital. She can’t move. She can’t speak. She can’t open her eyes. She can hear everyone around her, but they have no idea. Amber doesn’t remember what happened, but she has a suspicion her husband had something to do with it. Alternating between her paralyzed present, the week before her accident, and a series of childhood diaries from twenty years ago, this brilliant psychological thriller asks: Is something really a lie if you believe it's the truth?

Based on his widely read columns for The New Yorker, Ian Frazier's uproarious first novel, The Cursing Mommy's Book of Days, centers on a profoundly memorable character, sprung from an impressively fertile imagination. Structured as a daybook of sorts, the book follows the Cursing Mommy—beleaguered wife of Larry and mother of two boys, twelve and eight—as she tries (more or less) valiantly to offer tips on how to do various tasks around the home, only to end up on the ground, cursing, surrounded by broken glass. Her voice is somewhere between Phyllis Diller's and Sylvia Plath's: a hilariously desperate housewife with a taste for swearing and large glasses of red wine, who speaks to the frustrations of everyday life. Frazier has demonstrated an astonishing ability to operate with ease in a variety of registers: from On the Rez, an investigation into the lives of modern day Oglala Sioux written with a mix of humor, compassion, and imagination, to Dating Your Mom, a sidesplitting collection of humorous essays that imagines, among other things, how and why you might begin a romance with your mother. Here, Frazier tackles another genre with his usual grace and aplomb, as well as an extra helping of his trademark wicked wit. The Cursing Mommy's failures and weaknesses are our own—and Frazier gives them a loving, satirical spin that is uniquely his own.

“Gives the reader insight not only into the effects of addiction on the entire family, but solutions for those in the grips of family trauma.” —Barb Rogers, author of If I Die Before I Wake With three children under five, a set of twins and a newborn, Rachell Brownell wanted to feel like an adult again. So she turned to three bottles of white wine a night. Through wit and honesty, Brownell lets readers into her world of addiction, but also towards hope. Examples of community, wisdom, and support provide a map for anyone trying to get through the early stages of recovery. Learn how a couple of glasses of wine lead to a big problem. Understand how mommy cocktail groups and the desire to feel like “more than a mommy” can lead to addiction. In Mommy Doesn’t Drink Here Anymore you will find:The good, the bad, and the ugly of parentingThe truth about the first year of recoveryHope for a light at the end of the tunnel “Whether you are struggling to reconcile your addiction or looking for guidance as a mother, woman, human being, Brownell’s journey of self-awareness and self-discovery is sure to motivate and inspire. A triumph of a memoir for all women enduring.” —Rebecca Woolf, author of Rockabye: From Wild to Child “Comfort, encouragement and support are interwoven with her words. A gift for anyone who is seeking their own Truth regarding addiction and recovery.” —Barbara Joy, author of Easy Does It, Mom “In this frank memoir, she journals her slide into alcoholism and her first year of recovery . . . Brownell doesn’t pull any punches about the ugly side of her addiction.” —Library Journal