You Know You Re Fifty When

Are you “getting on in years,” or know someone who is? Thinking of changing your birth certificate to show a more favorable birth date? You may lie about your age, but your age won’t lie to you! Not sure how to tell when you’re about to reach that fun sixtieth birthday? Here are some clues: WebMD is your home page When asked, “Who’s your doctor?” you have to reply, “Which one?” An outbreak of acne makes you feel like a teenager again At your class reunion, you note with satisfaction that the captain of the football team wears a hearing aid The meadows where you sowed your wild oats are now shopping malls That empty seat on the bus has your name on it Your pharmacist greets you with “What’ll it be, pal?” Getting older is not only fun . . . it’s funny! And with You Know You’re 60 When . . ., you’ll be laughing as you go kicking and screaming over the hill, happily clutching your chest!

Whether you’re over the hill, approaching the hill, or rolling down it, this is the ultimate guide to life after 50—so get your readers and settle in! Getting closer to the big Five-O? Know someone who is? Sure, 50 might be a scary number, but it’s also a state of mind, an opportunity to drape an afghan over your shoulders when you’re chilly or start enjoying cruises. For anyone in denial about reaching the half-century milestone, New York Times bestselling author Richard Smith clues you in on certain signs that you can’t ignore. Because even if you feel like you’re at the top of your game, you know you’re 50 when . . . • Blowing up balloons gets you winded. • You start jogging with an ID. • It can take up to fifteen minutes to climb out of a hammock. • “Staying power” refers to remaining awake through Cats. • You think menopause entitles you to park in a handicap zone. • Your tailor diplomatically suggests it’s time to let out your barbecue apron. • You actually start to obey the “Don’t Walk” signal. • Florida starts looking good. So go ahead and blow your retirement savings on cruises, trips to Paris, and plastic surgery—you’ve got another 50 years to go!

Every eight seconds someone in this country turns 50, an age at which even baby boomers can no longer put off becoming fiscally responsible and planning for the future. For everyone who finds that thought daunting (and that's an awful lot of us), Charles R. Schwab, America's most trusted figure in financial services, is here to outline the simple steps we should take to evaluate what we have, determine what we'll need, and put our money to work to make our future one of reward instead of worry. In the same upbeat, user-friendly style that made Charles Schwab's Guide to Financial Independence a bestseller, You're Fifty- Now What? offers a mix of clear and workable advice, simple worksheets, and a healthy dose of encouragement. In addition to learning how to accumulate and grow their money, readers will even find help with estate planning and charitable giving. His message is that the goal is not just financial security, but financial peace of mind. The way to get there is not by being a spectator, but a participant. It doesn't take special talent or advanced degrees; it just takes attention and a little time. With baby-boomers living longer and spending more time in retirement, the need is clear. Charles Schwab's You're Fifty- Now What? is the perfect place to get started.

On Women Turning Fifty honors the new faces of aging with powerful, positive images of fiftysomething women who share stories of mid-life discovery. Accomplished by beautiful photographs, these candid and engaging interviews reveal women whose challenges, conflicts, and triumphs are reshaping our attitudes toward work, relationships, and personal growth. From Gloria Steinem, Isabel Allende, Ellen Burstyn, and Mary Ellen Mark to single-parent school teacher Deanne Burke and breast cancer survivor Barbara Eddy, the diverse voices in On Women Turning Fifty offer exhilarating models of confidence, courage, and celebration.

This is a quiz-format humour book to ease the pain of turning 50 and provide entertainment for any 50th birthday party. It covers six different categories: romance and sex, health and medicine, ageing, fashion, recreation and work.

Dripping Thighs, Sticky Chicken Fingers, Vanilla Chicken, Chicken with a Lardon, Bacon-Bound Wings, Spatchcock Chicken, Learning-to-Truss-You Chicken, Holy Hell Wings, Mustard-Spanked Chicken, and more, more, more! Fifty chicken recipes, each more seductive than the last, in a book that makes every dinner a turn-on. “I want you to see this. Then you’ll know everything. It’s a cookbook,” he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. “I want to prepare you, very much.” This isn’t just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest. There’s pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we’ll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling . . . Holy crap. “I will control everything that happens here,” he says. “You can leave anytime, but as long as you stay, you’re my ingredient.” I’ll be transformed from a raw, organic bird into something—what? Something delicious. So begins the adventures of Miss Chicken, a young free-range, from raw innocence to golden brown ecstasy, in this spoof-in-a-cookbook that simmers in the afterglow of E.L. James’s sensational Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. Like Anastasia Steele, Miss Chicken finds herself at the mercy of a dominating man, in this case, a wealthy, sexy, and very hungry chef. And before long, from unbearably slow drizzling to trussing, Miss Chicken discovers the sheer thrill of becoming the main course. A parody in three acts—“The Novice Bird” (easy recipes for roasters), “Falling to Pieces” (parts perfect for weeknight meals), and “Advanced Techniques” (the climax of cooking)—Fifty Shades of Chicken is a cookbook of fifty irresistible, repertoire-boosting chicken dishes that will leave you hungry for more. With memorable tips and revealing photographs, Fifty Shades of Chicken will have you dominating dinner.

Are you almost over the hill? Know someone who is? Getting older is no fun, but it sure can be funny. How do you know when you’re approaching the big 4-0? Here are a few clues: * Comb-overs are starting to make a certain kind of sense. * A kid you once babysat for is now your lawyer. * At your checkups, the doctor has begun to ask if you’re still sexually active. * Midnight seems awfully late. * You’re more interested in websites that will calculate your Body Mass Index than in Internet porn. * You receive two phone calls in a single week from people who want to sell you life insurance. Whether you’ve just found your first gray hair or you’re peering around the corner to your mid-life crisis, You Know You’re 40 When… will tickle your funny bone (while you can still remember where to find it).

The author offers lyrical, compassionate, and witty observations about turning fifty years old and facing middle age