Your Children Are Boring

"The funniest book of the year" Are you sick of a society that seems obsessed with children? Do you find modern parents insufferable? Your Children Are Boring is a uniquely humorous look at our culture's obsession with children, a world where virtually every advert has a squawking child in it, where pubs are full of wailing infants, and where every other Facebook post is tagged #ProudDad. Why do parents themselves behave like infants? Why having a child doesn't make you less selfish, why it's extremely unlikely that your child is in fact, 'special', and why modern parenting is ruining everything, not least the kids themselves. All the answers lie within, and it's your duty to read it. Yes, Your Children Are Boring will make you laugh, but it's much more than that. Once consumed you must take its teachings into the world and fix society. Or something. Oh and if you put 'Dad' or 'Mum' in your social media bios, this book is aimed at you. An excerpt from Your Children Are Boring: "There are more radical solutions available to us of course. I take my lead from the way we've societally turned smokers into pariahs at pubs. Let's create family areas in the pubs! Imagine, roped off areas out the back, covered in sick, where the tables are made of plastic rather than wood, soundproofed so we don't have to listen to you loudly slow-talking, or the baby crying. Or you could just go to McDonalds, which is where the kids want to be anyway. And that's another thing; does anyone think these kids want to go to a pub? They're not renowned for their rides and pits of plastic balls. But perhaps that's just a matter of time. We'll inevitably infantilise getting smashed like we seem intent on doing to everything else. You want it all don't you, your spoilt little brain thinks, 'I've had a child, but that doesn't mean I should modify my life. I still want pub, so baby come to pub!' Kids should be, and probably are, bored out of their tiny minds at pubs. It's where grown-ups go to bitch about their friends' new kitchen or boyfriend / girlfriend, not a playground, that's why they're full of glass, fruit machines and sharp edges. If we can be a little melodramatic though, you're a virus. You're ruining pubs like you ruined football and the cinema, colonising it like the most boring invading army in history armed with iPhones and Kleenex."

A New York Times Best Illustrated Book of 2019 Kirkus Reviews Best Book of the Year The Boring Book is a humorous picture book that follows the story of one particularly bored boy. As the story progresses, our protagonist discovers there's actually more to boredom than what meets the eye—more questions, more theories, and heaps of humor. This exploration of boredom from acclaimed author-illustrator Shinsuke Yoshitake playfully—and hilariously—unpacks the ways in which a seemingly stagnant state is actually a portal into a dynamic, life-enriching experience. • Embraces the topic of boredom—an ever-so-popular kid complaint—and runs with it • The unique comic format, fast pace, smart humor, and narrative approach makes it ideal for reluctant readers • A universally hilarious book that will amuse children ages 5 to 8, as well as adults In addition to banishing boredom, Yoshitake's distinctive illustrations promote visual literacy and show young readers what the process of creative thinking looks like. This smart, laugh-out-loud picture book just might change your child's perspective on the state of boredom forever. • A wonderful gift for parents, teachers, educators, librarians, caregivers, and anyone who has to answer to the statement "I'm bored!" • Perfect for readers of early chapter books • Great for fans of the Fox & Chick series by Sergio Ruzzier, Waiting Is Not Easy! (An Elephant and Piggie Book) by Mo Willems, and I'm Bored by Michael Ian Black

When a bored girl meets a potato who finds children tedious, she tries to prove him wrong by demonstrating all of the things they can do, from turning cartwheels to using their imaginations. Full color.

We all know what it's like to feel bored-it's the worst! But did you know that being bored is actually one of the most wonderful and powerful things in life? Some of the best things ever created or discovered happened when someone was bored. It's true! With this book, kids can learn to embrace and discover the benefits of boredom and realize their full potential.

Quirky charm infuses this tale of Old Rock's life story, which is much more exciting than you'd expect. Old Rock has been sitting in the same spot in the pine forest for as long as anyone can remember. Spotted Beetle, Tall Pine, and Hummingbird think just sitting there must be boring, but they are in for a wonderful surprise. Fabulous tales of adventurous travel, exotic scenery, entertaining neighbors, and more from Old Rock's life prove it has been anything but boring. Great storytellers come in all shapes, sizes, and ages, and Old Rock's stories are sure to inspire questions that lead to wonderful conversations about the past and the natural world.

SIXTEEN LITERARY LUMINARIES ON THE CONTROVERSIAL SUBJECT OF BEING CHILDLESS BY CHOICE, COLLECTED IN ONE FASCINATING ANTHOLOGY One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis," and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all-a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children-before their biological clock stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life. The idea that some women and men prefer not to have children is often met with sharp criticism and incredulity by the public and mainstream media. In this provocative and controversial collection of essays, curated by writer Meghan Daum, sixteen acclaimed writers explain why they have chosen to eschew parenthood. Contributors include Lionel Shriver, Sigrid Nunez, Kate Christiensen, Elliott Holt, Geoff Dyer, and Tim Kreider, among others, who will give a unique perspective on the overwhelming cultural pressure of parenthood. Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed makes a thoughtful and passionate case for why parenthood is not the only path in life, taking our parent-centric, kid-fixated, baby-bump-patrolling culture to task in the process. What emerges is a more nuanced, diverse view of what it means to live a full, satisfying life.

A New York Times Best Illustrated Book of 2019 Kirkus Reviews Best Book of the Year The Boring Book is a humorous picture book that follows the story of one particularly bored boy. As the story progresses, our protagonist discovers there's actually more to boredom than what meets the eye—more questions, more theories, and heaps of humor. This exploration of boredom from acclaimed author-illustrator Shinsuke Yoshitake playfully—and hilariously—unpacks the ways in which a seemingly stagnant state is actually a portal into a dynamic, life-enriching experience. • Embraces the topic of boredom—an ever-so-popular kid complaint—and runs with it • The unique comic format, fast pace, smart humor, and narrative approach makes it ideal for reluctant readers • A universally hilarious book that will amuse children ages 5 to 8, as well as adults In addition to banishing boredom, Yoshitake's distinctive illustrations promote visual literacy and show young readers what the process of creative thinking looks like. This smart, laugh-out-loud picture book just might change your child's perspective on the state of boredom forever. • A wonderful gift for parents, teachers, educators, librarians, caregivers, and anyone who has to answer to the statement "I'm bored!" • Perfect for readers of early chapter books • Great for fans of the Fox & Chick series by Sergio Ruzzier, Waiting Is Not Easy! (An Elephant and Piggie Book) by Mo Willems, and I'm Bored by Michael Ian Black

A fun book to help your children read. Having a boring day isn't fun, but with friends around there is always something to do.