A Shite History Of Nearly Everything

Eccentrically - indeed, irresponsibly - compiled, packed with bizarre ideas, hopeless theories, impossible dreams, preposterous statements, loony prophecies, mad scientists, demented technicians, useless inventions, and much of the often deranged history of our planet, A Shite History of Nearly Everything doesn't just challenge our view of the history of the world; it challenges our very sanity!

The history of the world is littered with failed inventions, impossiblechemes dead-end technologies, obsessed scientists who devoted years toheories that were never, ever, going to work, or to discoveries that wereever, ever going to be made. Many of them died or were seriously injured inheir quest to prove that the pursuit of knowledge very often involves theomplete abandonment ofcommon sense. Now bestselling author A Parody tackleshe entire world of science and scientific knowledge, in an explosively funnyook that doesn't just challenge readers' view of science and technology,cientists and inventors; it challenges their very sanity - and yours.

Dog lovers, rejoice! This wonderful, whimsical collection of trivia, anecdotes, quotations, musings, and legends is a charming tribute to man’s best friend. Beautifully illustrated, chock-full of little-known facts and intriguing tales, this must-have compendium gives us skydiving dogs, swimming dogs, dogs that don’t shed, dogs that don’t give up, dogs that have set records, and dogs whose loyalty to their masters is the very essence of the most remarkable interspecies relationship on earth. Chronicling the fascinating background of both popular and rare breeds around the world, Dogs’ Miscellany pays homage to famous dogs throughout the ages, ordinary dogs that have behaved famously, and dogs of famous people—from Mary Queen of Scots (who hid her Skye terrier under petticoats when she went to her execution) to Paris Hilton, dog lover. Here are curious tales of canine brilliance and literary quotations from the work of such authors as Emily Brontë, Arthur Conan Doyle, and Jack London. And here are dogs as they appear in the Bible, in Shakespeare, at work, at play, in our language (“dog days,” “hair of the dog,” “doggone”), in Native American wisdom, on a tombstone inscribed by Lord Byron to his dog, Boatswain, and in an afterlife imagined in Hindu legend. What is the smallest dog ever recorded? How quickly can a Border Collie roll down a mechanical car window? Should you think twice before giving a dog a bone? From the ridiculous to the sublime, the answers are here in a book that is at once a celebration, an education, and an essential literary companion for dog lovers everywhere. From the Hardcover edition.

War—what is it good for? It’s good for 19 all-new tales from the battlefield... Nineteen all-new tales that look at war from the perspective of everyone from human to alien, pixie to toy. From epic intergalactic struggles for the future of humankind to the microcosm of a single abandoned toy soldier in a boy’s backyard; from a chemical experiment gone horribly wrong to a young recruit who may hold the key to “understanding” the enemy; from a half-mortal knight trying to avert a war with the Elfin Host to a Battle of Trenton fought against seven-foot tall Saurians, Front Lines brings together a diverse array of imaginative explorations of the phenomenon of war.

A mondegreen is a word or phrase which, when spoken or sung, is misheard as another word or phrase, often resulting in a hilarious outcome. Most people have heard of the famous mondegreen, 'send three-and-fourpence, we're going to a dance', the surprise request of a troop of soldiers who actually said, 'send reinforcements, we're going to advance'. The most common causes of confusion are song lyrics, as puzzled listeners struggle to work out why The Beatles were singing "The girl with colitis goes by" ('The girl with kaleidoscope eyes'), but mondegreens are not only found in songs and poetry, but also in everyday life. For example, the lady who rang the hospital asking for Sir Michael Spears, when, in fact, she was actually enquiring about cervical smears. "Mondegreens" is a side-splittingly funny collection of wonderful and absurd mishearings, put together in an elegant package that is certain to appeal to English language aficionados everywhere.

Readersnbsp; may not be familiar with the expression, but they will certainly have suffered from mondegreens more often than they realize. The word was coined in 1954 by a writer who, as a girl, misheard the line from an old ballad, "laid him on the green," as "Lady Mondegreen." Most people have heard of the famous mondegreen, "send three-and-fourpence,we’re going to a dance," the surprise request of a troop of soldiers who actually said, "send reinforcements, we’re going to advance." The most common causes of confusion are song lyrics, as puzzled listeners struggle to work out why The Beatles were singing "The girl with colitis goes by," (The girl with kaleidoscope eyes), but mondegreens are not only found in songs and poetry, but also in everyday life. For example, the lady who rang the hospital asking for Sir Michael Spears, when, in fact, she was actually enquiring about cervical smears.nbsp;This sidesplittingly funny collection of wonderful and absurd mishearings isnbsp;put together in an elegant package that is certain to appeal to English-language aficionados everywhere.