Autobiog Of Methuselah

DigiCat Publishing presents to you this special edition of "The Autobiography of Methuselah" by John Kendrick Bangs. DigiCat Publishing considers every written word to be a legacy of humankind. Every DigiCat book has been carefully reproduced for republishing in a new modern format. The books are available in print, as well as ebooks. DigiCat hopes you will treat this work with the acknowledgment and passion it deserves as a classic of world literature.

Having recently passed into what my great-grandson Shem calls my Anecdotage, it has occurred to me that perhaps some of the recollections of a more or less extended existence upon this globular[1] mass of dust and water that we are pleased to call the earth, may prove of interest to posterity, and I have accordingly, at [2]the earnest solicitation of my grandson, Noah, and his sons, Shem, Ham and Japhet, consented to put them into permanent literary form.Notice: This Book is published by Historical Books Limited (www.publicdomain.org.uk) as a Public Domain Book, if you have any inquiries, requests or need any help you can just send an email to [email protected] This book is found as a public domain and free book based on various online catalogs, if you think there are any problems regard copyright issues please contact us immediately via [email protected]

Excerpt from The Autobiography of Methuselah I used to think so, my son, but under prevailing condi tions I am forced into a more or less definite suspicion that it is elliptical, like a lemon.-editor. About the Publisher Forgotten Books publishes hundreds of thousands of rare and classic books. Find more at www.forgottenbooks.com This book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art technology to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in our edition. We do, however, repair the vast majority of imperfections successfully; any imperfections that remain are intentionally left to preserve the state of such historical works.

This work has been selected by scholars as being culturally important, and is part of the knowledge base of civilization as we know it. This work was reproduced from the original artifact, and remains as true to the original work as possible. Therefore, you will see the original copyright references, library stamps (as most of these works have been housed in our most important libraries around the world), and other notations in the work. This work is in the public domain in the United States of America, and possibly other nations. Within the United States, you may freely copy and distribute this work, as no entity (individual or corporate) has a copyright on the body of the work. As a reproduction of a historical artifact, this work may contain missing or blurred pages, poor pictures, errant marks, etc. Scholars believe, and we concur, that this work is important enough to be preserved, reproduced, and made generally available to the public. We appreciate your support of the preservation process, and thank you for being an important part of keeping this knowledge alive and relevant.

Biography I wrote the fictional book of Methuselah with the purpose of showing why man brought the judgment of the flood upon himself. I decided to write this story after 30 years of thinking about Methuselah. When I first started to piece together what Methuselah saw, who influenced him and who he influenced I became in awe of his life. Nine out of ten names in the book of Methuselah are taken from three different books, the Bible, the Book of Jubilees and the Book of Enoch. I believe that the evil conditions found before the flood that brought the judgment of God upon the earth is manifesting itself in the world in which we live today. Judgment is coming, but God is longsuffering and has given us a way to escape the wrath to come just as he did before the great flood. Endorsements This is an amazing alternative to Harry Potter. Tom M. What an exciting movie this would make. Brad W. This is true history with added imagination. Aaron P. For anyone who believes in creation this is a must read. John T. Book Summary Find yourself seeing the world before the flood through the eyes of the oldest man that ever lived. Experience all of the patriarchs and their time slot in history. Watch how the world slips into the condition we find ourselves today. As it was in the day of Noah.

Methuselah, the oldest person who has ever lived, goes on a quest for truth, expanding the Bible with humor. He writes, My best marriage was to Sheilabenautumn, a living doll. I called her She. She called me Meth Honey. But I suffered from the neighbors evil gossip. I was 603, and She was a mere 133. The neighbors said I had robbed the cradle. The author, with tongue in cheek, traces the world of Adam and Eve, Noah, and the patriarchs through Methuselahs eyes and ears in a style that is a mock modernization of the terminology in the Bible. For example, God named the first man Adam and said, Live long and prosper. When Eve became overweight, Adam couldnt understand why. She explained, I think theres a person inside of me because I feel kicking in my stomach. I dont know from which orifice he will come out. This is a new version of the Bible that will cause readers to laugh aloud.

Methuselah, the recording angel of history, is correcting the mistakes in Exodus that the dyslexic and nearsighted scribe who copied the Bible first made. For instance, Moses’s mother takes an entire month to make the basket for the baby since Macy’s has not yet come into existence. The infant’s sister, Miriam, places the basket in the bulrushes of Nile to save the Hebrew baby from being killed. Pharaoh’s daughter, who has severe psoriasis, rescues the infant and raises him in the palace. When Moses is ten, he is taught how to box. At the age of sixteen, he learns how to drive a chariot. That gives him the inspiration to initiate chariot races when he’s seventeen—long before the Roman ones as depicted in Ben-Hur. Moses is placed in an anger management class that he hates. He becomes an unquestionably great leader but never fully controls his temper for the rest of his eventful life.