Barney I Did It Myself

Children ask the big purple dinosaur to watch as they demonstrate the things they can do without help, including brushing their teeth, painting a picture, and riding a tricycle.

"Commodore Barney's Young Spies. A Boy's Story of the Burning of the City of Washington" by James Otis. Published by Good Press. Good Press publishes a wide range of titles that encompasses every genre. From well-known classics & literary fiction and non-fiction to forgotten−or yet undiscovered gems−of world literature, we issue the books that need to be read. Each Good Press edition has been meticulously edited and formatted to boost readability for all e-readers and devices. Our goal is to produce eBooks that are user-friendly and accessible to everyone in a high-quality digital format.

Since the Korean War ended in 1953, a number of books and articles have been written about the air-to-air battles between the American F-86s and Russian MiGs. Some parts of the stories that appear in those publications are probably true, but many of them contain fantasies, exaggerations and even lies that are both preposterous and demeaning to the Air Force. Unfortunately much of what survives in the West as the history of those epic air battles is found in those partially flawed publications. I was in a position to know what was going on there since I spent a year observing the scene as an F-86 pilot fighting the MiGs with the 51st Fighter Wing. I have written this book because I want to leave history a more complete and honest picture of what went on there. I have been retired for more than fifty years, but my love for the Air Force and loathing for anything that reflects shame or dishonor on that great organization has compelled me to act. Feeling the way I do, writing in an effort to correct and enhance the record is an easy task since I enjoy writing and was reared to place real value in truth, honor and integrity and hate dishonesty, dissembling and deceit.

Charged with comic energy and a steely disregard for any pieties whatsoever, Barney's Version is a major Richler novel, the most personal and feeling book of a long and distinguished career. Told in the first person, it gives us the life (and what a life!) of Barney Panofsky--whose trashy TV company, Totally Useless Productions, has made him a small fortune; whose three wives include a martyred feminist icon, a quintessential JCP (Jewish-Canadian Princess), and the incomparable Miriam, the perfect wife, lover, and mother--alas, now married to another man; who recalls with nostalgia and pain his young manhood in the Paris of the early fifties, and his lifelong passion for wine, women, and the Montreal Canadiens; who either did or didn't murder his best friend, Boogie, after discovering him in bed with The Second Mrs. Panofsky; whose satirical eye for the idiocies of today's Quebec separatists (as well as for every other kind of political correctness) manages to offend his entire acquaintanceship (and will soon be offending readers everywhere); and whose memory--though not his bile--is, in his sixty-seventh year, definitely slipping . . .

A highly popular British author of stories, poems and educational books for children, Enid Blyton produced numerous series that have remained worldwide bestsellers since the 1930s. Her works largely consist of mystery or adventure stories, as well as tales that take place in schools and the circus. Her ‘Famous Five’, ‘Secret Seven’, ‘Five Find-Outers’ and ‘Malory Towers’ are enduring classics of children’s literature. They feature clearly delineated good and bad characters, while constructing exciting plots that illustrate traditional moral lessons. Blyton’s vocabulary and prose style are simple and highly accessible for beginning readers. This eBook presents the largest collection of Blyton’s work ever compiled in a single edition, with numerous illustrations, rare texts and informative introductions. (Version 1) * Beautifully illustrated with images relating to Blyton’s life and works * Concise introductions to the major texts * All of the major novels, with individual contents tables * The complete ‘Famous Five’, ‘Secret Seven’, ‘Five Find-Outers’ and ‘Malory Towers’ books * Rare ‘Secret Seven’ short stories, digitised here for the first time * Wishing-Chair and Amelia Jane Stories available in no other collection * Images of how the books were first published, giving your eReader a taste of the original texts * Excellent formatting of the texts * Famous works are fully illustrated with their original artwork (when the illustrator’s work is no longer held in copyright) * Blyton’s poetry collection * Features the fully-illustrated autobiography – available here for the first time in digital publishing * Ordering of texts into chronological order and series Please visit the Delphi website for a full contents list CONTENTS: The Famous Five Books Five on a Treasure Island (1942) Five Go Adventuring Again (1943) Five Run Away Together (1944) Five Go to Smuggler’s Top (1945) Five Go Off in a Caravan (1946) Five on Kirrin Island Again (1947) Five Go Off to Camp (1948) Five Get into Trouble (1949) Five Fall into Adventure (1950) Five on a Hike Together (1951) Five Have a Wonderful Time (1952) Five Go Down to the Sea (1953) Five Go to Mystery Moor (1954) Five Have Plenty of Fun (1955) Five on a Secret Trail (1956) Five Go to Billycock Hill (1957) Five Get into a Fix (1958) Five on Finniston Farm (1960) Five Go to Demon’s Rocks (1961) Five Have a Mystery to Solve (1962) Five are Together Again (1963) Famous Five Short Stories The Secret Seven Books The Secret Seven (1949) Secret Seven Adventure (1950) Well Done Secret Seven (1951) Secret Seven on the Trail (1952) Go Ahead Secret Seven (1953) Good Work Secret Seven (1954) Secret Seven Win Through (1955) Three Cheers Secret Seven (1956) Secret Seven Mystery (1957) Puzzle for the Secret Seven (1958) Secret Seven Fireworks (1959) Good Old Secret Seven (1960) Shock for the Secret Seven (1961) Look Out Secret Seven (1962) Fun for the Secret Seven (1963) Secret Seven Short Stories Malory Towers Series First Term at Malory Towers (1946) Second Form at Malory Towers (1947) Third Year at Malory Towers (1948) Upper Fourth at Malory Towers (1949) In the Fifth at Malory Towers (1950) Last Term at Malory Towers (1951) The Adventure Series The Five Find-Outers Books Wishing-Chair Series The Amelia Jane Books The Family Series The Farm Series The Circus Series St. Clare’s Series Mr. Twiddle Books The Faraway Tree Series Mister Meddle Books The Naughtiest Girl Books The Barney Mysteries The Secret Series The Six Cousins Books The Poetry Book Child Whispers (1923) Other Books 48 more books - too many to list The Autobiography The Story of My Life (1952)

Australian author Guy Sigley brings you a hilarious story that's ideal for fans of The Rosie Project. He lost his job and found his love. But will he lose her as well? Meet Barney. On the surface, he's an average guy with questionable social skills and a serious case of germophobia. He likes routine. He likes to keep his head down. He likes the fruit muesli and the plain muesli to be stored in separate containers. But is there more to the man who managed to do the impossible—get himself fired from the public service—than just hand sanitizer and inappropriate small talk? What if his new private sector colleague—the fierce, devastatingly intelligent, and instantly mesmerizing Gloria Bell—could inspire Barney to re-ignite a stand-up comedy career that hasn't produced a laugh in more than a decade; take dangerous risks with his personal hygiene; and put his career on the line with an idea so audacious, it might just score him a full-time job? The result of Barney's attempts to win Gloria's heart and his new workmates' respect is a hilarious story about work, love, and the redemptive power of hitting rock-bottom. Buy Barney now if you're ready for a laugh-out-loud read you won't want to put down!